Certain things about an individual should be regarded as impossible and beyond bounds of rationality. For Dase, this included the possibility of an end to her affair with Eto, a man she described to herself as: “My All-in-One.” Eto represented for her everything good about a man. He provided all she needed within and sometimes outside his capacity.
But because the most unexpected things do happen, she created space in her mind for the remote possibility of another man in her life.
Despite such occasional variance in her thought process she believed to part with Eto should be compared with accessibility of the summit of Everest to amateurs like her. Dase and Eto engaged in a conversation on a Sunday when they returned from church service. The subject of discussion, Laura, made dramatic changes in her life all of a sudden. Dase disliked her friend’s precipitate decisions which she saw as ill-conceived and made no attempt to keep it within.
“No rational person should leave certainty for uncertainty. How would somebody whose brains are intact leave substance and chase shadows? How can any sane person see fire and walk into it or see a boa constrictor and take it home as a guest?” With conscious effort she blocked thoughts of a possible break up with Eto.
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In forty-eight hours Laura abandoned a man she ran a stable relationship with for seven years and vowed to marry, resigned from a dream job to start a business, and left her family house which she once said whoever wanted to marry her must agree to live there. She became engaged to a young man and plunged into a business line she knew nothing about because the new man insisted on it.
“I regard it as insanity,” Dase submitted and shook her head with violence the way a fowl soaked in rain does.
“Suppose she has a story to tell?” Eto said with minimum concern.
“A believable story or a shaggy-dog story”? Dase asked.
“Things do challenge the bounds of rationality,” Eto said. “There can be rationality in irrationality.”
“Make no attempt to justify tomfoolery,” Dase interjected.
Laura, the subject of discussion had been Dase’s best friend. The two attended the same kindergarten, primary school, high school, and university. They were bunk mates and, or hostel mates in high school and in the university. The closeness made people describe them as “five and six,” or kola nut lobes.
The marriage between Toni, Laura’s former suitor, and Laura reached a point of when rather than whether it will come to pass. Toni’s senior age meant little to Laura because they shared something their ages failed to outline. They were soul mates and although they lived apart anyone who knew the relationship regarded them as a couple and saw them as a case of marriage made in heaven which waited to be concluded on earth.
Laura worked in a multi-national oil company, Roberts Oil Inc. She enjoyed a good salary, travelled abroad several times for on-the-job training, and owned a good car. With respect to the future, the resilience of Roberts Oil during oil shocks excluded it from the category of companies on the shaky list.
Despite these positives Laura walked out of the job and plunged herself into the uncertain world of business. The man who made her dare ran a lifestyle with sources of funds few people knew about. The new man, a dollar multi-millionaire boasted of businesses located in four corners of the globe but beneath the surface, no one knew the status of his wealth and whether it rested on substance or on bubbles.
“How can someone see pleasure and walk into the arms of pain?” Dase looked at Eto in disbelieve.
“I suggest you make effort to get the full story,” Eto answered.
“For God’s sake how would you take sides with Laura? A young woman runs towards the edge of a cliff while you find justification for her acts when you should suggest something to stop her?”
“You have rushed to conclusions. Laura attained legal age years ago.”
“She will continue to be my baby. Underneath the mature facade lies a vulnerable child. I blame myself because I failed to protect her.”
“Over the top my friend. You have talked to her more than you should.”
Dase relaxed on the bed, interlocked the fingers of her two palms to form a base for her to rest her head, and faced the mute ceiling. The alternative to her pose would have been to use her palms to hold her chin both outward signs of despondency.
“Someone in her village has turned calabash against her,” Dase said and sighed. When Eto said nothing she jumped, faced him, and spoke.
“Sweetheart, imagine a scenario in which I walk out on you and slot a finger in my nose and say, ‘Sorry Eto, I have fallen in love with another guy.’ Can you consider such thing as a distant possibility?” Eto said nothing. “Can you see any probability in such thing?”
“Probability has values between zero and one,” Eto responded.
“Maybe I am have thrown water on the back of a duck,” Dase said and paused. “I have often said you doubt my love and my resolve to marry you.”
“Far from it. Anything set in stone in a world in a state of flux should be seen as an open invitation to nervous breakdown and in the extreme, suicide.”
“I think I understand,” Dase said and nodded several times.
“How did you read me?”
“You are prepared for the possibility of cessation of our relationship and who knows, you look forward to it. Let me disappoint you – compare a break up between two of us as a meeting between Mars and Jupiter.” She clenched her fists and stormed out of the room.
After a pause she opened the door with much energy and stood at the entrance, looked long and hard at Eto and said: “Something tells me you are double-dating.”
“Daydream in the night.”
“Sweetheart, the best way to hedge against a rocky day should be to have a standby generator to power your life when the major source of power goes out.”
“I wish to stop myself from an argument with you because you are in a wrong mood. You know you are the sole source of power in my life.”
“Today, tomorrow?”
“For the rest of my life.”
Dase returned, raised Eto’s chin and looked deep into his eyes. Eto observed the film of tears tinged with fear and doubt in her eyes. He watched with interest as balls of tears rolled down her chubby cheeks and fell on the ground.
“I cannot imagine myself awake in the morning to see the face of another man by my side. Sweetheart, impossible should be considered a soft word.” She did some toilet and continued: “I continue to wonder why you doubt me. It baffles and frightens me.”
Eto pulled her onto the bed, held her close, and licked the salty tears and felt a thrill go through his system. Would this be the defining moment of their relationship? They conducted a turbulent relationship but something inexplicable continued to keep them together. What her declarations Eto saw the possibility of permanence and felt good.
Qualities which endeared Dase to Eto included genuineness, femininity, and courage. Beyond those and more important, Eto depended on the young woman for several things such as genuine pieces of advice and spiritual support. He saw it as a strange development in his life to be dependent for key non-material things on someone other than himself. In fact, he regarded it as bizarre for him to depend on a girl half his age for guidance. But for inexplicable reasons the young woman appeared to give him guides which worked ten out of ten occasions.
Dase came into his life at a critical moment when he felt life lost meaning for meaning for him due to epochal developments. Regular things appeared to work in default and friends and colleagues failed in everything from being sources of assistance to being unable to keep his confidence. He found himself desperate to tell her everything about his life more so she kept his confidence. He told her his weaknesses, his failures, his fears, and his doubts and rather than being mocked she would say something to counter his feeling of failure or say something to strengthen him. Where doubt crept in she debunked his fears or reinforced his decision in a genuine way.
Although his sixth sense told him several times to show restraint and make provision for the unexpected, he let himself go. One day his mind told him, “this wonderful bird may fly to another destination someday” but he worked hard to convince himself of such improbability.
A turning point came with what he liked to call The Verse scribbled in her handwriting and sealed with a kiss. He preserved it the way he would a vial of eye drops which kept away cataract. It read:
Eto for Life
The name, what a name
It fits like jigsaw
Eto, tree, Tree of Trees.
In my life, in my world
You are, no one can doubt
The Bristlecone Pine.
A thousand years and more
you will stand in my soul.
In my life, in my world
you are, no one must ask
The mahogany par excellence
Enduring, all quality
and pleasant to the eye.
In my life, in my world
You are, no one can doubt
The teak which ticks along
Like the grandfather clock.
Can you be weary, can you stop despite rough weather and waves?
In my life, in my world you are, none can doubt
The chestnut, strong, and fruitful
In my life, in my world
You are, all do agree
The oil palm, Elaies Guineensis
From food to fiber, energy to timber
I bless the day, the hour
The minute, the second you waltzed into my empty life to envelop, enrich, enable.
Welcome to my world
Stay and stay firm for none can replace
None can pull the roots of this one Baobab, this one Iroko.
Eto’s world turned a dream when the poem arrived and remained a dream. Dase’s face became the last he saw before his eyes closed and his consciousness floated into the world of dreams. In his dreams Dase floated like a fairy queen before him. The same face appeared each day as he opened his eyes and sucked in clean air from his window. Dase’s face became a constant and he felt good about it.
But for reasons he found difficult to establish Eto contemplated the possibility of a break with Dase. Despite the space she occupied in his being something continued to soak his consciousness with subtle power. The relationship clock, Eto felt may tick in the opposite direction one day.
One day he read something in the social media which generated fiery darts in his mind. The post commented on the way persons in a close relationship treat each other before their family and friends. In the case of Dase she went the extra mile to keep him away from her family and friends. On one occasion, Dase, in the apartment he hired for her, looked at him in the eyes and told him her friends would visit the next day and he should stay away from the apartment.
“Male friend I guess,” Eto said when Dase made the statement which startled him.
“Jealous lover boy,” Dase responded and showed him a photograph.
“I have seen this before. They are members of your social club.”
“On target.”
“What would be wrong if I met them?”
“I prefer to interact with them in your absence.”
“Strange. Maybe you plan an orgy or something?”
“Over the top. You have dressed and addressed me.”
Eto raised his eyebrows ready to ask more questions or make a comment. Dase placed the index finger of her right hand on his lips.
“Save your breathe. Remember the words of our elders.”
“Which one?”
“A curious chicken may find the thigh bones of its mother in the rubbish heap.”
“An inappropriate proverb I must say and it appears to suit the situation. What do you have to hide?”
“Nothing. Just a proverb. Just a proverb.”
“Okay by me. I am certain my skin has no leprous patches. I am certain no one can say I am the shortest or ugliest man alive.”
“Sounds extravagant,” Dase shouted. “I told you to make no further comment.”
“You give me an order as if I am your house help? You can deny food to anyone but you cannot deny anyone freedom of expression. You have kept me away from your family and kept my family away from you. Your action and inaction in this regard are pungent enough to make a mouse sneeze.”
“You have crossed the bar. The discussion stands closed.”
Back to his apartment Eto wondered how a girl told a man of his standing to shut up and he did! Whatever Dase used to hold him captive he felt certain will let go one day. His scientific orientation disallowed belief in charms and his people believed the nature and manner people conducted relationships determined the longevity and intensity rather than some mystic alchemy.
If a woman holds a man captive she achieves such by being caring and devoted. Any other thing floats like a cotton bud without strength. With such conviction Eto allowed his worries to dwindle and vanish like smoke in the wind while Dase continued to retain her space in his being.
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