There is no right or wrong time to ask for sex in a relationship. It depends on the specific couple and the stage of their relationship. Sex is something to be enjoyed by both partners, so it is not something that should be decided by just one of the partners.

Some people are able to engage in casual sex without letting their emotions get involved. Some people cannot have sex unless they have a strong emotional and profound connection to that person. And there are others who believe that having sex will significantly deepen their connection and intimacy in that relationship.

Because it is commonly believed that sex is something that women give and men take, it is normal for women to feel as though they gave up too soon in relationships that do not progress past the first sexual encounter.

The reason why people ponder this question in the first place is because of what other people might think. Which is wrong on many levels. Indeed, there are a lot of unwritten dating rules, and breaking any of them can result in judgment from others.

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It is possible to meet someone, click with them deeply, and feel so strongly about each other that you want to spend the entire first date night together sexually. However, it is possible that you will meet someone with whom things are going slowly. It might take several dates before you experience any desire.

Neither of these situations is wrong. As long as both parties agree. Then what’s the issue?

Research indicates that men and women have differing opinions on this. Men (38%) are more likely than women (20%) to believe that having sex during the first month of dating is acceptable, with 13 percent of men saying this is acceptable during the first week of dating (7% of women agree).

Of those who are married or in a committed relationship and have engaged in sexual activity, 15 percent report having done so within a week of beginning their partnership. Nineteen percent more people report having sex after dating their significant other for more than a week, but less than a month. Comparably, 21 percent of respondents say they waited between one month and three months.

However, here are some general guidelines:
It is advisable to put off talking about sex until after you have gotten to know someone and you both feel at ease. Depending on the couple, this might happen after a few months or even after a few dates. It can be uncomfortable or pressuring for one or both partners when sex is rushed into.

Having frank and transparent discussions about sex is crucial once you are in a committed partnership. Talk about your preferences, boundaries, and any worries. Avoid blaming or shaming language, and use “I” statements to express your feelings. For example: “I feel like we haven’t been as intimate lately. I miss that connection with you.”

It is important to come to a mutually agreeable compromise if one partner desires sex more frequently than the other. It can be detrimental to your relationship to push your partner for sex when they are not ready. Rather, put your attention toward developing emotional intimacy via tenderness, quality time, and candid conversation.

Keep in mind that a healthy relationship does not require sex. The most important thing is to find connections that benefit you both and to respect one another’s boundaries. If you are having trouble striking a balance, think about consulting a sex therapist or couples counsellor.

In the end, your comfort level and the stage of your relationship will determine when is the best time to talk about sex. The secret is to focus on creating a solid emotional foundation, communicate honestly, and show consideration for one another’s needs. You can work through this significant relationship issue together if you both agree to compromise and have mutual understanding.

Sex is a shared and joyful experience. It is not something that ought to be rewarded or received as a penalty. It should not be because you want to avoid being a prude or because you feel compelled to.

Consider whether you want to have sex at all before determining when is the best time. It is entirely up to you whether you are a virgin or simply do not know when to start seeing someone new.

Do not let the fact that you waited three months for sex with your ex dictate how long you have to wait for someone new or how long you can wait to wait. You can always change your mind. Sex is not a contract.

There is no perfect time to have sex. There is no magic amount of time to wait to make it perfect or for the person you’re sleeping with to think of you the right way.

Yes, sex tends to intensify feelings, but why should you worry about power struggles if you are good at keeping the two apart and want to go for it?

A few explanations for why people put off having sex in a relationship are as follows:

1. Religion: Many people put off having sex for a long time because of their religious convictions. Some people simply wait longer to be certain they love someone before getting married, while many people wait until after marriage.
2. To appear appropriate: Some people want to be seen as more proper and less like someone who’ll sleep around on the first date and so they choose to wait a while for that reason.
3. Not wanting to seem easy: This idea is very similar to the previous one. Someone delays sleeping with someone because they do not want to come across as carefree. They want the other person to put forth more effort before they get in bed.
4. Thinking you are not ready or too young: This varies greatly depending on the individual. What is considered too young by one individual may be an appropriate age for another. Some people wait just to become a little bit older.
5. You do not yet trust this new individual: This is a fairly typical excuse for delaying sex. When you’re with someone new, you really don’t know them all that well. It’s reasonable to wait a while before indulging in sex.

Interestingly if a woman sleeps with someone on a first date, their partner may think that they can get whatever they want now because they’ve given up their power. How do you feel about that? Do you think sex should be that complicated?

I would love to get feedback, questions, and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.

Let’s meet tonight (Friday) in the chatroom. If you want to be a part of it, send me a message on Telegram at: @tiwa_says. The chatroom opens at 10pm every Friday.

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tiwa_says; 09161129108 tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.