I was with an old friend the other day, and we got talking about a lot of things, one of which was her marriage.
She has been married for 10 years, but her husband has been out of the country for half of those years.
I was especially concerned about how she was coping sexually. She smiled and told me that they were doing pretty well and things were great sexually.
I was curious to know more as I was sure her husband was still overseas. She said that they have sex regularly, virtually.
And she was having the best sex ever because they were experimenting with a lot of things, though they couldn’t physically touch each other, ne of which was mutual masturbation.
I was excited to hear this because I believe that sex shouldn’t be restricted. There are always different ways to enjoy sex if you are willing to explore.
This also got me thinking about mutual masturbation. It shouldn’t just be for partners who are not physically together, even partners who are together can tap into the fun.
Masturbation as we know is the art of self-pleasure. It is the act of bonding with yourself. But who’s to say you can’t use the same act to bond with your partner if done together? That’s where mutual masturbation comes in.
This could be done either by masturbating yourselves together or having hand sex with one another. But let’s concentrate on the former.
It can take place in the same room or via video call, or even on the phone depending on your preference. It can be one of the most intimate things you can do with your partner, because it makes you vulnerable, yet sexy and powerful at the same time.
Letting someone watch you do what you will normally do in private can be quite exhilarating. Your partner is not left out in the fun.
Watching you do your thing can be very sexually stimulating. So pleasure is assured for both parties. Being free in that way also allows you to release your inner temptress.
It’s also the best way to let your partner know how you want to be pleasured since he is watching you do it. So he gets to know the right place to touch and how to touch to give you the most pleasure.
If you are looking to spice up your sex life by trying something new this season, you may want to try mutual masturbation. Interestingly you can incorporate a lot of other things to heighten the fun like sex toys, role play and whatever fantasies you may have up your sleeve.
I know some people have reservations when it comes to masturbation because of the many myths and misconceptions surrounding it.
So let’s discuss some of them:
i: Some people think masturbation is only for teenagers and young adults who are not ready for sex. This is not entirely true. You are depriving yourself of pleasure if you think penetrative sex is the ultimate in sex. Pleasure is the ultimate in any sexual encounter and there are different ways to achieve this besides penetrative sex. Mutual masturbation is one of the many ways. It is only popular because those who don’t want to have penetrative sex can also indulge in it, either as a couple or solo.
ii. Some people also believe mutual masturbation is for same-sex couples. That is not true. Everyone can indulge.
iii. Some say masturbation is addictive and causes erectile dysfunction and blindness. This is not correct. On the contrary, masturbation is associated with many health benefits such as reduced stress, better sleep and body confidence. Besides, there is no evidence linking masturbation to any of these ill effects.
But if you still have any preconceived ideas about mutual masturbation that have been stopping you from giving it a try, let me bring it down:
- Blindness isn’t caused by masturbation unless you’re masturbating with a sharp object, like, say, a hairbrush, and the lube causes you to slip and accidentally poke your eyes.
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Masturbation addiction isn’t a clinical diagnosis and masturbation isn’t recognised as addictive. While some people may do it compulsively and find it problematic, there are health benefits associated with rubbing one out.
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Erectile dysfunction has several possible physical and psychological causes – masturbation is not included. Excess smoking and alcohol use, cardiovascular disease, and stress are common culprits.
Mutual masturbation is probably the safest sex you can have, but when doing it with a partner though, you have to be careful of body fluids as this may pose a risk of Sexually Transmitted Infections.
Also in this day and age of virtual everything, where just a click lets a person sneak a screenshot or record a video and share it with others, trust with your partner is a must.
Mutual masturbation is already guaranteed to give you a blissful end, but these tips can help:
i. Wearing a blindfold. Being blindfolded can kick your senses into overdrive and add a kinky element to the experience. Adding a blindfold or two to the mix can also be a good solution if you’re feeling a little shy about stroking in front of your partner physically or virtually.
II. Try sensory play. Sensory play lets you heighten your and your partner’s pleasure by igniting different senses with different sensations. Think hot candle wax or ice cubes on their skin. Or maybe feathers to tickle and tease. Whisper something naughty or listen to audio erotica while you play.
iii. Play dress up. Virtual sex has, for the most part, taken the place of phone sex and become pretty common. Wearing a costume for a little role-playing can take it to another level. Being in character might also help lower your inhibitions, allowing you to try things you might normally shy away from.
In conclusion, I believe that mutual masturbation is worth adding to your sex repertoire. Apart from the fact that it is safe, it can help you master your moves better than any tutorial, and guarantees a happy ending for all involved.
You should give it a try this weekend.
I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
Let’s meet tonight in the chatroom. If you want to be a part of it, send me a message on Telegram at: @tiwa_says
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#tiwa_says; 09032331388;Â [email protected].
