Osinachi: Sex, marriage and the church, by Tiwa Says

Why are marriages collapsing, even in the church? Despite abiding by the “rules” given by these religious institutions? This question comes in the face of the alleged domestic violence unleashed on prominent gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachukwu, by her husband, Peter Nwachukwu, which reportedly led to her death.

Could it mean that age-old rules and customs do not quite apply to the world of today? I wonder.

Especially since abiding by these rules doesn’t guarantee a peaceful and happy marriage. Or is it that we as a people are deceptive and not sincere with one another?

Let’s take sex, as an instance. There is so much hypocrisy and pretence surrounding this subject matter.

Religious institutions preach abstinence before marriage, but what happens after marriage? A lot of people come into marriage with ideas and expectations that are more often than not dashed.

For instance, a woman gets into marriage as a virgin as it is “expected” and because of the rule of abstinence, she never got intimate with the husband until the wedding night, only for her to find out that the husband is impotent, yet he came into the marriage hiding under the guise of “sexual sanctity” being well aware that he cannot perform his conjugal duties….

Or is it the case of the groom who found out on his wedding night that his bride has but one breast?

These are matters that ought to have been discussed and resolved way before the marriage happened.

As much as I don’t want to be seen as promoting immorality, matters about sex are not to be trivialised in any relationship, especially marriage.

It is a lifelong contract, so you cannot afford to be flimsy about your partner or your expectations.

If you like sex a lot, discuss it with your partner, don’t pretend. Even the Bible admonishes that we shouldn’t be overly righteous and die before our time.

If as a woman, you come into the marriage with some sexual experience, feel free to share it with your partner. As a man, do not castigate your partner for her sexual experience. Embrace it and use it to better your relationship.

I’ve heard of cases where husbands say they don’t want to “stress” their partners with some sexual acts so they go and satisfy their urges outside the marriage. Shocking!

When did sex become stress? Who says your partner hasn’t been craving those more satisfying sexual acts?

Sex can become monotonous between couples that have been together for long. So it’s always a good idea to keep communication open and try new things.

There is nothing sinful about wanting and having sex, your way, as long as you agree with your partner.

A lot of the problem arises from the fact that partners are not open with each other for fear of being seen in “a certain way” or being castigated.

I once heard the case of a man who accused his partner of being promiscuous just because she tried something new in the bedroom! Shocking isn’t it?

We will continue from here next week.

I would very much like to know your views and comments on the matter.

Feel free to contact me.

Note: Our monthly game night comes up on Friday, April 16, 2022. In the spirit of the season, we can still take in a few more people seeking all the fun they can get in a convivial atmosphere with mature guys and ladies. Feel free to contact me before 4pm and you are in.

#tiwa_says; 09032331388; tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.