I got a call from an old colleague the other day. He wanted me to know that he was coming back to the country to find a wife, having been abroad for over 15 years. Quickly, my mind went to this friend of mine who is also single and searching. She is a beautiful and intelligent young woman, who has a good paying job and also has a daughter, which makes her a single mother.
My friend seemed excited at first, but as soon as I mentioned that she had a daughter, his tone changed. He said that he wasn’t ready for the stress of dating a single mother. I wondered: Was the stress in the title or the individual? It was shocking to see that such stereotypes still exist in this day and age.
Nevertheless, I told him it will be a shame for him to judge her without meeting and getting to know her. He wasn’t convinced, but he agreed to meet her before making any assumptions. This really got me wondering.
The dating scene these days is not for the faint hearted and weak. It is even more difficult if you’re a single parent, especially a single mother.
A lot of men shy away from dating women who have kids. Some assume that single mothers are boring and unadventurous because of the responsibilities they are saddled with: taking care of their children. Others think they are independent and so they will be difficult to manage.
Dating is exciting, but it can also be challenging. Having a relationship with a single mother is complex in a lot of ways. Single mothers often juggle various responsibilities, including work, parenting, and personal needs. However, dating a single mother can also be deeply rewarding.
Also Read:
- Meta: Social media users call for establishment of indigenous networking platforms
- N50b Earned Allowances: Crisis brews in varsities as SSANU, NASU reject sharing formula
- Tinubu to Obi, Others at Vatican: I’m head of Nigeria’s delegation
- Tinubu charges Nigerian Catholic Bishops at meeting in Rome
- Over N4t Debt: AMCON, AMPs tighten noose on obligators
Things to consider before dating a single mother:
To start with, it is important to know that single mothers often face unique challenges that shape their approach to dating. From balancing work and childcare to managing finances and personal time, their lives can be busy and stressful. Understanding these challenges is key to fostering a healthy relationship.
– Emotional Baggage: A lot of single mothers carry emotional scars from previous relationships or the challenges of single parenthood. Patience and empathy are crucial in creating a supportive environment.
– Time Constraints: A woman with children may not have time for frivolities. Single mothers often have limited free time due to their responsibilities. Recognising that they may not always be available for spontaneous plans is important for managing expectations.
– Priorities: A single mother’s children will likely be her top priority. This means that your relationship may not always be the primary focus. Being supportive of her role as a parent is essential.
Having gotten that out of the way, here are some practical tips that could help foster a healthy relationship with a single mother:
1. Respect her schedule: Understand that her children are her top priority, so be understanding and flexible when it comes to scheduling dates and spending time together.
2. Communicate openly: Talk to her about her children and their needs, as well as your boundaries and expectations in the relationship. Communication is key in any relationship, especially when children are involved.
3. Take it slow: Don’t rush things and try to build a strong connection with her and her children gradually. Take the time to get to know each other and establish a solid foundation before becoming too involved in each other’s lives.
4. Show genuine interest in her children: Take the time to get to know her children and show genuine care and interest in their well-being. This will not only make her feel more comfortable with you, but also show that you are serious about being a part of their lives.
5. Respect her parenting decisions: Understand that she knows what is best for her children and respect her decisions when it comes to parenting. Avoid offering unsolicited advice or criticism and instead be a supportive partner.
6. Be patient and understanding: Dating a woman with children can be challenging at times, so be patient and understanding when conflicts or issues arise. Remember that her children are a big part of her life, so be supportive and understanding when it comes to balancing her responsibilities.
7. Be a positive role model: Show her children that you are a positive influence in their lives by being caring, respectful, and supportive. Be a role model that they can look up to and feel comfortable around.
8. Be supportive: Offer your help and support when needed, whether it’s picking her children up from school, helping with homework, or attending their events and activities. Show that you are willing to be a reliable and supportive partner in her life and her children’s lives.
Dating a single mother comes with its own set of unique dynamics and challenges. Here are some key aspects to consider:
1. Prioritisation: Understand that her children will always be her top priority. This means that her time, energy, and attention may sometimes be focused on them, which could impact your plans together. Be understanding and respectful of this.
2. Responsibility: Keep in mind that being in a relationship with a woman who has children means taking on some level of responsibility for her children as well. This could involve being involved in their lives, helping out when needed, and being a positive influence.
3. Time management: Balancing a relationship, parenting, and potentially work responsibilities can be challenging. Be patient and flexible when it comes to scheduling time together, and understand that she may have limited availability.
4. Establishing boundaries: It’s important to have open and honest communication about your boundaries and expectations in the relationship. Respect her parenting decisions and discuss how you can both navigate potentially sensitive issues, like discipline or involvement in the children’s lives.
5. Meeting the children Building a relationship with her children is crucial. Take the time to get to know them, be patient with them, and show that you respect and care for them. Building trust and rapport with her children can strengthen your relationship with her.
6. Support: Show your support for her as a parent. Offer to help out when needed, be understanding of the challenges she may face, and provide emotional support. Being a reliable and supportive partner can go a long way in building a strong relationship.
7. Stability: Consistency and stability are important for children, especially when they are adjusting to changes in their family dynamic. By being a steady presence in their lives, you can help provide a sense of security and structure.
8. Patience and understanding: Dating a woman with children requires patience and understanding. Be prepared for unexpected challenges and conflicts, and approach them with empathy and open communication.
Finally dating a single mother may not be for everyone but then sometimes, we don’t decide who we love. If you find yourself being drawn to a single parent, it’s nothing to be ashamed or scared about, just keep communication alive to understand each other’s expectations and boundaries and I trust that all will go well.
I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
Subscribe to my YouTube channel: @Eve’s Desire Show on YouTube, at @theeagleonlinenigeria.
Send me a message on Telegram at: @tiwa_says; WhatsApp: 09161129108; and Email: tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.
Follow The Eagle Online Channel on WhatsApp
