“The Cost of Silence,” written by Ibukunoluwa Otesile, was published in 2023 by Light Educational Publishers in Ibadan. It is a 10-chapter work which discusses children’s rights, sexual and gender-based violence from an advocacy point of view. Ibukunoluwa runs the Ibadan Schools Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Campaign, among many others, and has written extensively on sexual and gender based violence.
In the book, The Cost of Silence, we come into contact with the narrator, Aduke Oluseyi, as she introduces us to her family of six.
The family consists of her parents and three other siblings. Her parents are civil servants and they live in a neighbourhood characterised by “snooty savage competition.”
Mr. Oluseyi is respected in the public because he is a senior civil servant who works with the Commissioner for Environment. But at home, he is feared by his wife and children. He hardly smiles at home, and he is “always angry about something or at someone.” He has a bad temperament, and sometimes becomes very violent when angry. Of her father’s bout of violent anger, Aduke our narrator writes: “…my mother would call my siblings and I and send us to bed. In her mind, when we are asleep, we are protected from the anger and violence of my father… she was always at the receiving end of my father’s violence.” (p2)
Essentially in this book, Mr. Oluseyi seems to enjoy battering his wife, a soft spoken, hardworking good woman. But she never gets to tell anyone about her predicament. This is the crux of the matter for Aduke, and she decides to speak up. But she is warned not to speak to anyone by her mother. And Mrs. Oluseyi always has “a convincing excuse or explanation for every bruise and injury.” (p5)
In the book, The Cost of Silence, the author also discusses the male child fixation of society, and the patriarchal tendencies that fuel it. Aduke reports in the book that their father treats Akanbi more specially than the other children who are girls. Other children are given less attention simply because they will not “carry on the family name.” The author, deploying the first person narrative technique, tells the story of Akanbi and how a neighbour regularly abuses him. Aduke, our narrator, tells the reader that a neighbour is touching Akanni’s private part but no one is bold enough to talk about it. In any case, she gets flogged heavily for reporting to her father. And she gets schooled once again by her mother who says “there is safety in silence.” Also, her father verbally abuses her with damaging words. Consequently, this is the beginning of Aduke’s loss of self-esteem, withdrawal and slip into poor academic performance, the result of her forced silence.
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She is withdrawn from the school and sent to a public school, where gets to know that people gossip about her violent father but no one is willing to speak up for her mother. She tells us about the dilapidated infrastructure of public schools and the dehumanising attitude of teachers towards pupils in the school.
The book, The Cost of Silence shows that when young people are deprived of parental attention, they are left vulnerable to the whims of mostly untrained friends and peers. This peer pressure pushes Aduke into getting influenced by Bili, her new friend. Bili introduces her to hard drugs. Then she gets entangled with hard boys who trade in hard drugs. And soon after, she gets caught by agents of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency.
But soon, Aduke gets medical and psychological help from Dr. Adekola and she regains her confidence. And she is able to speak up and tell the story of her mother’s ordeal in the hands of her father, the physical and psychological abuse that the children suffer in their home. With the help of Aduke, the security agencies are able to track down the enablers of drug and substance abuse.
The book is a text on child rights, sexual and gender based violence, and it is a strong statement on the need to speak up about these things. It shows that the lives of all children are valued and valuable, and that the fight against all forms of abuse is the task of all people. The book is child-friendly, as it is illustrated and contains test questions and a glossary section. It is written in accessible language for all classes of readers as well.
. Olatunbosun is a broadcast journalist, fact checker and book reviewer at Splash FM 105.5, Ibadan. He is reachable via 08023517565 (SMS and WhatsApp only) and email molatunbosun@splashfm1055.com.
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