Why do people shy away from expressing their sexual want?
Research has shown that couples who have strong sexual communication are more satisfied with their sex life. If you are experiencing issues with your sex life, talking frankly with your partner might improve your sex life and your relationship.
Dirty Talk
If you are new to dirty talk, I will recommend you start with something simple; descriptive phrases that focus on what you enjoy or what you would love your partner to do. For example, expressing how good something feels or how you want to be touched can be a great start.
Nkechi and Emeka have been married for two years and sex to her has been great, because she feels lucky to have a man who gives her orgasm. But Emeka has a secret. He loves bondage sex and loves being dominant and wishes his wife can be his submissive and that he could lord over her body.
One day, Emeka went shopping and met a pretty damsel named Angela and asked her out and he felt it will be the usual sexual moment, but to his greatest surprise, she got excited during their sexual moment and got on top of Emeka and started playing dominant, strangled him mildly, spanked him and called him her slave.
This action woke Emeka up and got him excited and he played along. The next sex appointment, he played the role of a dominant and Angela, a submissive and it was the best sex partner he has ever had. Angela became his everything and gradually he started losing sexual attraction to his wife and imagined being with Angela whenever he maked love to his wife.
If Emeka had communicated to his wife Nkechi that he loves bondage sex and his wife having an open mind and adventurous and willing to learn new things and explore sex, the risk of losing her home to a strange woman would have been avoided. Only God knows what will become of their marriage with Angela in the picture.
Know and understand your body
Knowing what gets you started and what triggers your orgasm is a delight. Sex is meant to be enjoyed and not endured. Be with a partner that is willing to learn about your body and worship your body and make you feel real good. When you are in a sexual moment, a sexy communication is required. When your partner explores your body and he gets to a spot your body responds to and he leaves that spot in the moment of your pleasure, let him/her know and make them continue on that spot till you get the satisfaction your body deserves. Don’t be shy to tell your partner how you enjoy to be pleased.
Is God against foreplay?
Hell, no! Go through the Songs of Solomon. It reveals how Solomon worshipped the body of his women and how he explored and worshipped the body of his women. If foreplay is bad, it won’t find its way to the Holy Book. Religious leaders telling their followers that using their tongue to worship the privates of their partner is a sin and are cursed do not know their scriptures. Only the ignorant believes sex is just to procreate. Sex has no rule. It’s up to you to set your sex limit.
Is sex toy acceptable for pleasure with your partner?
These are questions that mostly come up in sexual discourse among couples. The answer is yes and no. This is because it all depends on your partner. Some people are so conservative and can never believe or accept that an object can do what they can do and feel insulted by such ideas. That’s why you have to understand your partner first before you bring out sexual ideas.
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Does religion kill sexual communication?
The answer is yes and no. Most religious followers are extremists and lack the knowledge that their maker does not stand against sexual pleasure in as much as they are married. It’s a man’s right to enjoy his partner to the fullest. Nothing wrong if the woman demands same satisfaction. A happy home is powered by good sex.
One minute man is not an excuse for bad sex
Being a one minute man is not the end of the world. You can still satisfy your woman by sitting your partner down and opening up to her and admit you have a problem and both of you can find a solution. For a one minute man, concentrate more on satisfying your woman with foreplay, worship her body for long till she gets her orgasm and when the penetration comes in, control is very important. Do not get carried away. Once you notice you are getting excited, you withdraw and play with her body and then penetrate again. With time, you are building your stamina.
Does masturbation affect your sexual performance?
No, if it’s not excessive. Yes, if it’s excessive. Excessive masturbation can cause early ejaculation and in some cases erectile dysfunction, which is common among men who watch porn frequently to masturbate. Which causes most men to lose performance while having sex, because they cannot hold the erection for long. Many face premature ejaculation problem as a result. So, everything must be done in moderation.
Do not judge your partner when they are open about how they want to be pleased. They are not bad, spoiled, or bad eggs, neither are they promiscuous or sinners. Save your marriage and relationship. Sex is meant to be enjoyed and not endured.
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