I was vacationing at a resort recently where I met this interesting young couple. Love is sweet and it’s always nice to see people who decide to get married young. I believe it helps them to set their priorities in the right places, especially for the man. And, of course, it’s always encouraging to see young love.
It’s not often that you see a man get married in his twenties these days. So it’s always a pleasurable thing to behold.
Anyway, one morning after our initial meeting at the pool, I met the wife at breakfast and we got talking. She didn’t seem so bright that morning. I asked how she was enjoying married life and she told me that it wasn’t exactly what she imagined. I counseled her that it was still too early to judge. She should rather concentrate on her honeymoon.
The young woman told me that she didn’t think her husband desired her enough. I asked her why. And she recounted her wedding night experience to me.
According to her, she expected her wedding night to be passionate and somewhat magical, but as soon as herself and her new husband got to the hotel in the evening after the wedding reception, he got on the bed and slept till the next morning. She was totally disappointed.
She said he apologised the morning after and explained that he was tired. They did eventually have sex, but it was not the same for her anymore. And she still harboured the resentment, which is stopping her from enjoying her honeymoon.
I advised her to have a talk with her husband and explain her feelings to him. The marriage is too young to be having such issues. Besides, communication always solves half of all martial problems. I gave her some more advice and also asked if I could speak to the husband because I knew he probably had pressures and anxieties as well.
It kept me wondering why there was so much pressure about wedding night sex. The wedding night has long been associated with sexual intimacy and the consummation of a marriage. It holds a significant place in many cultural and religious traditions, symbolising the transition from courtship to marital bliss.
However, the practicality of having sex on the wedding night has been a topic of debate and contemplation. Different cultures and religions attach varying levels of significance to the consummation of the marriage on the wedding night. The media also romanticises the wedding night, leading to expectations of passionate encounters.
But times have changed and it’s time to break some traditions. The pressure of having sex on the wedding night is quite archaic and can cause disappointment when it does not live up to the hype.
Sex on the first night of marriage may seem like the norm on television and in films, but the reality is different. According to data from a 2018 survey, less than 40 percent of couples have sex on their wedding night. Weddings can be emotionally draining, leaving couples emotionally spent at the end of the day.
Although wedding night sex sounds great in theory, the majority of couples don’t do the deed on their wedding night. There are many reasons why a couple may not be able to get physically intimate on the wedding night, but the most common reason is tiredness.
By the end of the marriage ceremony, most people just want to go to sleep. And that is completely understandable. And most of the time, sex is the farthest thing on the mind then. So, it is okay and normal to not have incredible sex or any sex at all on your wedding night.
The pressure to have great sex after your wedding can directly impact you or your partner’s ability to participate in or enjoy physical intimacy. By expecting a fairytale scenario or the best night of your life, you could be pushing yourself and your partner further away from meaningful and enjoyable sex.
Here are some reasons why sex on the wedding night may not seem practical:
i. The reality is that weddings can be emotionally draining, leaving couples emotionally spent at the end of the day.
ii. The demands of the wedding day can result in physical fatigue.
iii. Alcohol consumption is often a part of wedding celebrations and may affect the willingness, ability, and safety to engage in sexual activity
iv. Some religious or cultural practices may discourage or prohibit sexual activity on the wedding night.
Potential benefits of delaying sex:
– The postponement of sexual relations on the wedding night can provide an opportunity to build anticipation and intimacy in other ways.
– Delaying sex may encourage open communication about expectations, desires, and boundaries.
If having sex on your wedding night is a priority for you, it’s best to work out a plan with your partner ahead of time.
If you have an after-party planned for late into the evening, it might be a good idea to find some time to sneak away in between the reception and the after-party. Or you might decide to forgo sex and wait until the next morning
In conclusion, the practicality of having sex on the wedding night can vary widely depending on cultural, religious, emotional, and physical factors. While many societies, traditions, and media may set high expectations for sexual intimacy on this special occasion, it is essential to consider personal circumstances, emotional and physical exhaustion, and the overall readiness of both partners.
Ultimately, prioritising open communication, consent, and the emotional bond between partners should take precedence over societal expectations. The wedding night can be a momentous occasion regardless of the choice made regarding sexual activity, as long as it aligns with the couple’s desires and comfort levels.
I would love to get feedback, questions, and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
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Let’s meet tonight (Friday) in the chatroom. If you want to be a part of it, send me a message on Telegram at: @tiwa_says. The chatroom opens at 10pm every Friday.
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#tiwa_says; 09161129108 tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.
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