Have you ever heard of the term: “Semen retention?” Hold the thought. A friend of mine called me up the other day lamenting. She said her husband informed her that he was going on a sex fast for 30 days. A whole month. This was not a discussion by the way. It was a proclamation. So she didn’t have a say in it.
His excuse was that he had a big project coming up and he needed all the mental agility and focus he could get.
The wife was confused and came running to me. First off, I think there ought to have been a discussion before embarking on such because that’s an important decision to take in a relationship, one that should involve the input and cooperation of both parties. It is unfair to assume the other partner will fall in line without a prior agreement.
Besides I don’t think it is necessary and advisable to stay off sex without your partner’s consent. After all, it’s not a relationship with one’s self. There are two or more parties involved.
This is not exactly new to me, I have heard a lot of wives/husbands complain about this same thing, mostly for religious reasons.
Now back to the sex fast. I want to believe the husband wants to practice “semen retention”. Assuming he is being sincere and not using it as a guide to fulfill his urges elsewhere.
Semen retention is simply the practice of avoiding ejaculation. This is usually done by abstaining from sexual activity completely or you can learn how to orgasm without ejaculating, which is not easy for most men.
This is not new at all, the practice is as old as humankind. People have different reasons for trying semen retention. From physical to emotional and spiritual.
You are probably wondering where this idea came from. Well, semen retention is part of ancient practices. Its benefits are yet to be proven though.
People give a variety of reasons for their interest in semen retention, including the belief that frequent ejaculation weakens you. Some say that semen retention improves fertility, sexual pleasure and physical health. Many also believe that sperm retention helps redirect sexual energies to other areas of life. Others say it’s the ultimate journey of self-control.
Semen retention is also referred to as:
– coitus reservatus
– seminal conservation
– sexual continence
– tantric sex
This practice is not without its benefits, some of which are:
Mental:
– Confidence and self-control
– Increased Motivation
– less anxiety and depression
– Better concentration, and overall cognitive function
– Physical
– Improved sperm quality
– Increased muscle growth and vitality
– Thicker hair, deeper voice
Spiritual:
– Better and deeper relationships
– Overall happiness and positivity
There may not be any research to support this but it also doesn’t mean all claims are false. There are however a few published studies:
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In 2018, researchers conducted a systemic reviewTrusted Source of studies on the length of ejaculatory abstinence and semen characteristics. They noted the varied quality and limited nature of existing studies. Evidence suggests that an abstinence period of less than a day, rather than a longer abstinence period, is linked to improvement in sperm motility.
In a 2007 animal study, researchers found that androgen receptors in the brain, which help your body make use of testosterone, were lower with frequent masturbation.
In a small 2003 study, Trusted Source, researchers documented a link between ejaculation and changes in serum testosterone levels. Among the 28 volunteers, testosterone levels peaked on the seventh day of abstinence.
In a 2000 study Trusted Source of male athletes, researchers found that sexual activity didn’t have a detrimental effect on athletic performance, but having intercourse two hours before a competition could.
So far, there seems to be no evidence that semen retention is risky to physical or mental health. So if it is something you don’t mind doing or if it’s working for you, then that’s fine.
So how is it done?
You can abstain from sex or you can learn to have an orgasm without ejaculating.
It takes a lot of muscle control. So Kegel exercises will be very beneficial. Flexing your pelvic muscles just before ejaculation is key.
Here are a few exercise techniques:
Locate your pelvic floor muscles. Stop urinating midstream or tighten the muscles that keep you from passing gas. Now you have a sense of where those muscles are.
You can do these exercises while lying down, sitting, standing or even walking.
Contract your pelvic floor muscles. Hold for three seconds, then relax for three seconds.
Focus on contracting your pelvic floor muscles only. Keep the muscles in your buttocks, thighs, and abdomen relaxed. Breathe freely.
Do this in sets of 10, at least three times a day, to build muscle control.
During vaginal, anal or oral sex, you’ll need to maintain control over your muscles.
Here are a few suggestions:
Let go of tension in the jaw, buttocks and legs. Learn to relax and avoid an excess build-up of energy in the pelvis.
As orgasm approaches, take long, deep breaths. Try holding perfectly still for a few moments to calm your body. Put your attention on the other person.
At this point, you can apply pressure on the area between the anus and scrotum (perineum). This can cause retrograde ejaculation, a process that sends ejaculation into the bladder instead of out of the penis. It doesn’t stop the orgasm.
When you hit the point of no return, squeeze your pelvic floor muscles as if you’re doing Kegels, open your eyes and stop stroking to achieve a dry orgasm. At your first few trials, you might be too early or too late. It takes time and practice.
There’s no right or wrong way. It all depends on you, what you’re trying to achieve or what feels right and comfortable to you. It’s a very personal matter. You should consider your reasons for engaging in semen retention and what you hope to gain.
Once it stops working for you, you should stop it. And nothing stops you from engaging in sexual activity afterward
How to practice non-ejaculatory masturbation: Practicing non-ejaculatory masturbation takes discipline and practice. Masturbation won’t hurt you nor will it affect your ability to produce sperm. And it may help to practice on your own before trying it with a partner.
Make sure your leg and buttock muscles don’t get rigid. Take deep breaths to help keep your muscles relaxed. Pay attention to your body’s signals. Learn to recognise your level of arousal and what it feels like just before an orgasm.
Here are a few approaches to holding off orgasm:
When you feel orgasm approaching, squeeze the end of your penis where the head joins the shaft. Maintain that squeeze for a few seconds while the urge to ejaculate passes. Repeat as necessary.
With your fingers, apply pressure to your perineum. Practice will help you pinpoint the right spot to trigger retrograde ejaculation.
How to practice non-ejaculatory partner sex:
To start with, communication is key because you must be both on the same page.
Having a conversation about what you want to do and how they can help. Ask how this will affect their pleasure, what they’re willing to do, and what they’re not willing to do. It is important to talk about boundaries while still achieving pleasure in the process.
If you have questions about the potential health benefits or harms of semen retention, talk to a primary care doctor or urologist.
Have a fun weekend.
I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
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#tiwa_says; 09032331388; tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.
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