I was enjoying a quiet dinner with a friend at a cosy restaurant the other day when a drama ensued right before us. I saw a woman get up from the table opposite ours.
The man who was with her was on his knees and I could see that he had a small box with him. The box was opened.
And it had a ring in it. The lady got up to leave, but the man held her hands. She shook his hand off hers, picked her purse and walked out of the restaurant, leaving the man on his knees.
You can be sure that diners at the restaurant had their phones out, recording the incident. I felt bad for the man. But then again, not everyone likes these public displays.
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It was obvious that the woman was either not interested in being married to the man or she didn’t like surprises. It’s also possible she didn’t like to be put on the spot, with no time to think about her decision.
Whatever the case, I think people need to check with their partners before planning these surprises. It is better to be rejected within the four walls of your home than to be rejected publicly.
This isn’t the first public rejection I have witnessed. So I wonder why it’s still a very popular act. I know some women thrive on the attention that surrounds the performance and they have gone as far as telling their partner to propose in that manner. Still, there are others who don’t fancy such drama.
In today’s society, public wedding proposals are becoming increasingly popular. With numerous viral videos and heartwarming stories shared on social media, it is easy to see why some people regard public proposals as the pinnacle of romance.
However, public proposals may not be appropriate for all individuals. And here is why:
1. Personal Preferences: While some people may appreciate grand gestures and the spotlight, others prefer intimate moments of love and connection. Public proposals may not align with everyone’s personal preferences, and it is essential to consider the couple’s desires when planning such a significant event. The true essence of a proposal lies in the genuine expression of love and commitment. And this can be achieved in a private setting as well.
2. Fear of Rejection: The fear of rejection is a significant concern for many individuals considering a public proposal. The pressure to say “yes” in front of an audience can be overwhelming for the person being proposed to, potentially souring the experience altogether. A public rejection cannot only be emotionally devastating, but also lead to embarrassment and humiliation. By keeping the proposal private, couples can avoid unnecessary anxiety and ensure that both parties are comfortable and ready to take this next step in their relationship.
3. Privacy Concerns: Privacy is becoming increasingly important in our age of social media and constant digital connection. Public proposals often sacrifice intimacy and privacy as they can attract unwanted attention and invasion into a couple’s personal lives. For individuals who value their privacy or are uncomfortable with the idea of sharing such a personal moment with the world, a private proposal can safeguard their relationship and maintain the sanctity of the moment.
4. Pressure and Expectations: Public proposals can inadvertently place immense pressure on both parties involved. The fear of not meeting societal expectations or creating a grandiose spectacle can blur the true meaning of the proposal. Marriage proposals should stem from genuine love and commitment rather than conforming to societal standards. By keeping the proposal private, couples can focus on their unique connection and the authenticity of their love.
5. Cultural and Religious Considerations: Cultural and religious considerations play a significant role in determining the appropriateness of public proposals. In some cultural and religious traditions, privacy and modesty are highly valued, making public displays of affection or proposing in front of an audience inappropriate or even disrespectful. Respect for these cultural and religious values is crucial, ensuring that the proposal reflects the couple’s beliefs and traditions, creating a meaningful and cohesive experience.
6. Emotional Intimacy: One of the most critical aspects of a proposal is the emotional intimacy shared between the couple. Public proposals, while designed to capture and share this intimate moment, can sometimes overshadow the genuine connection between the partners. By keeping the proposal private, couples can fully immerse themselves in the emotions and the intimacy of the moment, creating a memory that is truly unique to them.
7. Extravagant and Performative Nature: Public proposals tend to emphasise the extravagant and performative aspects of the event rather than the substance of the relationship. From flash mobs and public venues to choreographed dances, the focus is often more on the spectacle rather than the love between the couple. This can create unrealistic expectations and place an undue burden on the individuals involved. Instead, choosing a private and intimate setting allows the couple to prioritise their emotional connection, underscoring the commitment they are making to each other.
In conclusion, while public wedding proposals have gained popularity and recognition in the era of social media, it is crucial to recognise that they are not suitable for everyone. The personal preferences, privacy concerns, fear of rejection, pressure to conform to societal expectations, cultural and religious considerations, emotional intimacy, and the performative nature of public proposals are all important factors to consider.
Ultimately, the purpose of a proposal is to express love and commitment genuinely. Whether it takes place in front of a large audience or in the privacy of their own home, it should be an authentic reflection of the couple’s unique connection. By respecting individual preferences and considering the various downsides of public proposals, couples can ensure that their proposal is true to themselves and their relationship.
I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
Let’s meet tonight (Friday) in the chatroom. If you want to be a part of it, send me a message on Telegram at: @tiwa_says. The chatroom opens at 10pm every Friday.
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#tiwa_says; 09161129108 tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.
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