Weddings are beautiful. I’m not much of a romantic but there’s just this happy and fuzzy feeling you get at weddings. This particular wedding was a little extra special because it was an older woman getting married to a man 10 years younger. She had previously been married but got a divorce after 15 years. The couple seemed happy together and it got me thinking.
To start with, there’s life after a divorce. Age is not really a barrier to marriage. One would have thought that as someone who had been previously married, her next marriage would be to an older man as a second, third or fourth wife. I was mesmerised and happy for her for her choice.
Now, let’s consider why she chose a younger lover. There is an assumption that as a woman ages, she loses her drive for sex. And this causes problems in many long term relationships. It’s one of the major reasons why men seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere, usually with younger women. The twist here is that when you pair these mature women with younger men, they become feisty, revealing a totally new sexual personality.
So what’s the problem? Is it that long term partners stop exciting each other after a while or after a certain age both partners start to crave newer experiences. For the woman, if she’s in a long-term relationship, as she is aging, she would start to miss her partner’s sexual vigour and strength. The male partner on the other hand will also desire younger women because they are seemingly more feisty than the older women.
The irony here is that the older woman wants a younger lover because she wants to be “handled” well. She wants a man who is willing and strong enough to go “several rounds”. The older man on the other hand wants a younger woman who will pamper him and do all the “work”.
Besides, a woman wants to be seen and heard but an older man does not have the time and patience for this, but a younger man will do this willingly.
They say it’s a man’s world so the society is accepting of a man marrying or dating a younger woman, but when an older woman dates or marries a younger man, it is frowned upon and sometimes even considered a taboo.
Some people may believe that having a younger lover can be better for a variety of reasons, including:
– Increased energy and vitality: Younger people are often more physically active and have more stamina than older individuals, which can lead to a more exciting and fulfilling sexual relationship.
– Fresh perspective: A younger lover may bring new ideas, experiences, and perspectives to the relationship, helping to keep things interesting and challenging existing ways of thinking.
– Less baggage: Younger people may have less emotional baggage or negative experiences from previous relationships, allowing for a fresh start and a clean slate in the current relationship.
– Enhanced communication: Younger individuals may be more open-minded and willing to communicate openly and honestly about their feelings and desires, leading to a stronger and more transparent connection.
– Potential for growth and learning: Being with a younger partner can offer the opportunity to learn new things, try new activities, and grow personally and emotionally in ways that may not have been possible with someone closer in age.
As much as there are benefits to having a younger lover, there are also some disadvantages:
1. A younger man has little relationship experience and may not know how to handle conflicts appropriately. He can blow up during a fight or, after a disagreement, give the cold shoulder instead of trying to do things calmly and in time.
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2. Fear of Judgement: Even though a lot more people are beginning to embrace this idea, there are some traditionalists who still believe that a man should be older than his partner.
3. Joblessness: Sometimes dating a younger guy means that you have to be responsible for him. Some young men just starting out in life may not yet have a stable income so he may not be able to afford the luxuries that you want as a woman.
4. Maturity: sometimes a younger man may not have the maturity it takes to build a relationship. They are only interested in having a good time.
Tips for dating a younger man
1. Be open-minded and willing to try new things. Younger men may have different interests and hobbies than you do, so be willing to step out of your comfort zone and try new things together.
2. Communicate openly and honestly. Be upfront about your expectations and what you are looking for in the relationship. Communication is key in any relationship, but especially when dating someone younger.
3. Respect his thoughts and opinions. Just because he is younger doesn’t mean his thoughts and opinions are not valid. Show respect for his ideas and have open discussions about them.
4. Avoid trying to mother him or take on a maternal role. Younger men are looking for a partner, not a mother figure. Treat him as an equal and avoid patronising him.
5. Don’t let the age difference become a source of insecurity. Embrace your age and experience and remember that age is just a number. Focus on the connection you have with each other rather than the age gap.
6. Have fun and enjoy the experience. Dating a younger man can bring excitement and a fresh perspective to your life. Enjoy the journey and make the most of the time you have together.
Ultimately, the decision to have a younger lover is a personal one and may not be the right choice for everyone. It is important to consider the potential challenges and complexities that may arise in an intergenerational relationship and to communicate openly and honestly with one another to ensure a healthy and fulfilling partnership.
I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
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