“My father gave me the name Valerie from birth and I have borne the same name for two plus twenty years. I can think of just one thing a man beats me in this life. He can wear boxer shorts with no top and walk around the house or relax on the sofa.
As a girl, except if I am with my man, I wear things which cover me to the neck and below the knee.
In fact, I see it as immodest to fly my breasts without cover. Nor do I consider it comfortable convinced Nature designed breasts with straps in mind. I can say I am equal to any man in every aspect other than dressing.
The tag ‘feminist’ sounds uncomfortable for it implies differentials in abilities between the sexes. In my opinion both sexes can create and can destroy, can love and can hate, and can do great things as well as stupid things. Why should anyone talk of gender liberation if gender superiority has no place in a discourse? I hate being stereotyped such as being regarded as the weaker sex and by extension expected to be feminine. The Creator designed the sexes in different ways for specific purposes and no gender has any business to assume superior or inferior status. No gender should for any reason regard the other as superior.
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One of my favourite quotes comes from Archimedes, Greek mathematician and inventor. He said: “Give me a place to stand and I shall move the world.” Although he referred to levers which he invented, I dare to apply it to all aspects of life. In consequence I have taken liberties to amend the quote to read, ‘Take a place and stand and move the world.’ Which person of any gender gives up privilege without a fight? Privileged people hold on to what they have in which case a new interested party has to fight at least to take a sliver of it. Such can be done by force of arms or force of argument or right action.
Who told girls they have a divine right to receive things from boys anyway? Such world view turns my stomach and I continue to wonder who planted such stupidity in girls. Some girls sustain the opinion into adulthood and expect men to be the general givers while they are the perpetual receivers. At times they act the part of receivers in the business sense when their demands liquidate the economies of their men.
A young man and a young woman work in the same organization, are on the same status, receive the same remuneration but the young woman expects the young man to take her for lunch and pick up the bill she generates. At no time does she offer him a common handkerchief or bottle of soda. As a student if a guy buys lunch for me today I must buy lunch for him the next day.
Why must girls grow into the orientation of permanent female dependence on men as a standard in life? I reject any dependency argument and being tagged the weaker sex. Many women are breadwinners in their families or do make substantial contributions to family upkeep. I am aware lionesses hunt more than lions the supposed family heads although the females are smaller in size!
To any girl who can say ‘If I can get Mr. Moneybag in my neighborhood all my problems will be solved’ I want to tell her women have the same brain capacity as men and can make as much money as any man. Several women run homes but the wise ones keep such activities exclusive for the consciousness of two persons – theirs and their men.
I would highlight to the dumb girls the women who have excelled in science, arts, sport, and wealth creation. I cannot cease to admire Madame Marie Skllodowska, a Polish-French physicist-chemist who till date remains the only Nobel Prize laureate in two different science areas – physics and chemistry although one must appreciate her husband Pierre Curie who, unlike most men, made sure his wife’s capabilities received world attention. I continue to dream of being a Renaissance woman of our time – quote me.
Two months ago I held my colleague Sandra to an argument on the issue of gender differences. Sandra lost the argument from the outset when she presented the religious angle – the Holy Book says wives should submit to their husbands in all things. All things! By the divine decree I asked Sandra, have women been consigned to a lower status? What if, I enquired further, a husband tells his wife to go into prostitution to raise money to feed the family, should such wife obey? Sandra kept a studied silence and followed up with change in topic.
Sandra argued with conviction on the matter of seniority given the conventional wisdom of first to arrive must be first in line in everything from intellect to experience to wisdom. If, in her opinion the creation argument holds true given the infallibility of scripture, the first human being – a male – inhabited the earth. He received directive which can be considered a privilege to assign names to all the non-human creations which existed at the point in time. Such exercise required high level of intellection which nature endowed him with. The follow-up creation – woman – as a corollary learned names of extant beings at the time from the pioneer and if she made any contribution, should be seen from the point of view of a ‘help meet.’ To worsen matters Sandra invited passion into the argument when she tagged all gender equality arguments heresy and whoever went along with them should do penance for the good of the soul.
I drew Sandra’s attention to the wisdom teeth argument given her emotion on the idea of the first to arrive the most senior. Wisdom teeth follow milk teeth, are harder, more durable, and last a life time. Sandra became agitated for such argument implied men are inferior to women if men are regarded as the milk teeth and women the wisdom teeth. She said such line of argument smacked of heresy and whoever gave it a thought should be pronounced a child of damnation. She said one day an opportunity will arise to make me see the differences between men and women in every aspect of life. The handful of women who have broken the glass ceiling she argued were exceptions of doubtful scientific application.
We held a rowdy session when some girls joined us. We reached a consensus with the help of a proverb – a boast about the ability to hoe should best be ascertained at a farm. And a fortuitous situation arose which generated the opportunity for us to position our arguments on solid pedestal for future arguments. It came earlier than expected through a club Sandra and I belong.
Part of the collection, Brief Encounters. ©Bassey Ubong, 2024.