The Nigerian Online Newspaper

Poor communication skills cause misunderstandings among couples – Counsellor

Dr. Rose Chukwuma, a marriage counsellor, has urged married couples to always communicate with each other, especially over issues that could put their marriage apart if left unaddressed.
Chukwuma told the News Agency of Nigeria on Friday in Abuja that many couples mistakenly see regular spousal communication, especially on difficult issues, as confrontational.
She added that where individuals failed to understand the mood of their partners, they would not know when to raise some discussions.
Chukwumma said: “Communication is very important in every relationship but we have to keep in mind that it takes two to have a discussion, so we have to ensure our partners are in a good position to discuss.
“I always advice couples to discuss whatever it is they have on their minds.
“Keeping things bottled in makes us unhappy and gives us the potential to blow up, or express ourselves in a regrettable way when we no longer can hold our feelings.”
The counsellor told NAN that where there is a perfect understanding between couples, there is bound to be regular communication.
Chukwuma said: “Those that are able to study their partners’ emotions and body languages are able to learn when and how to appropriately have a conversation that will remain evergreen.
“Failure to pick up on signs and signals displayed in voice tones, facial expressions or body language, causes our conversation to sound confrontational.
“Arguments and disagreements are inevitable in marriages.
“I must stress on the importance of discussing what is on our minds as soon as we can, and not store it in for another day because that suppressed feeling will come up as a fight the next time.
“Some of us are fond of doing that because we are trying to avoid confrontation or dispute but that is a bad approach to promoting peace in relationships.”