…. As she sobs, it was as if her heart would break. I tried to console her as best as I could but I doubt I succeeded. This sort of pains…I mean emotional pains take time to heal. Nothing I say now or later would help.
I’ve been there before. The pains of a broken heart I mean. The tears that you think will never stop. The heart rendering pain, in that region of your heart, which you think will never stop. The ultimate belief that you’d never love again…but all these are just the pains of that very moment.
I got over it…many babes had gotten over it. She’ll get over it. The pains of many expectations from a guy. The sudden, unbelievable, crushing weight of disappointment as he does the unimaginable.
She said she caught her guy banging another babe. She was just relieving the shock…and each recollection brings a vivid picture and memory, making her to break into tears again. Her slight frame shook with the violence of the storm of tears rocking her body. Her pretty face was wan, puffy and red.
I can understand her pains. Like I said earlier, I’d been there before. Show me a lady who had not been there before. Sometimes, the fault is ours; sometimes it’s the guys’. But the truth of the matter is that no relationship comes with assurance that your partner will not hurt you.
This not knowing what the relationship portends is the joy inherent. You follow each day as it comes and hope and pray that each day draws you and your lover closer to a better understanding.
I don’t know what transpired, but I tried to piece the mumbled, incoherent words together. One thing was clear: Her guy had repeatedly asked for sex, but she had repeatedly said no. Why you ask? She’s a rare breed. A virgin, knocking on the wrong side of 30. A rare babe any guy in his right thinking mind ought to worship. I would anyway.
Look at me, if I see a guy that is a virgin at 30, I’ll worship him! Take that to the banks! Then I’d initiate him to the glorious beauty of sex. Do you know the good thing about virgins? They tend to idolize the person who initiated them…but that is if you handle it well, especially in the case of a babe. If you handle her poorly, welcoming her into the art of lovemaking with a lot of pains, you might even end up ruining her sexually forever!
When she said she was never going to marry the guy, I tried to make her see reasons. I’ve seen a lot in life. Things are often not as black and white as we expect them to be. On issues of romance, love, you can’t be certain of anything.
If you walk out on him, to start dating another guy, what assurance do you have that the new Angel in your life will not end up being a Devil? My point?…hear him out sister. Give him another chance…then if he messes up again, you show him the door!
Everybody, everyone deserves a second chance. And like I told her, if you’re not ready for sex, because of your principle, you have to turn blind eyes to some of the things you might hear about your guy.
You know…I know that he’d bang another babe, if not you. Some guys are controlled by their balls. I just don’t understand why some guys can’t stay three to six months without sex. What about those monks, don’t they practice celibacy? Nonsense! And sharraaap! Don’t ask me stupid questions!
That guy over there is asking me if I could stay without sex for six months. None of your damn business friend! The issue is not about me…got that?
What the heck am I even talking about? Many guys are controlled by their balls!
But in every relationship, respect should be reciprocal. Her guy didn’t respect her, she says. And after listening to her, I agreed.
He kept her in a room, then goes off to another room to ball another girl. He probably thinks himself Mr. 007, James Bond, sneaking in and out of the rooms like a guard, expecting the unusual but she found him out.
Yet, she stays watching him from her hidden place with emotional tears silently rolling down her innocent face.
The walls of the hotel kept spinning as if it was going to collapse.
She made to bang on the door leading to room B10 where her ‘to be husband’ was ramming into another babe but pride and self esteem would not allow her.
Then after several rounds with the other babe, the man came inside her room with an emotionless expression, blabbing and looking for excuses for not sleeping in the same room with her.
And yet, pride, self esteem would not allow her divulge all she had seen the night before.
She stays, creating the picture of her man in another woman’s arms and her heart bleeds the more, especially as sleep would not come.
The cool, breezy weather with heavy downpour brought more hurting imaginations as she held her pillow closely to her chest like he held her in the morning while she lies awake imagining her fiancée’s figure beside the other lady.
Really painful if you ask me…….. Oh! Don’t mind me….. Just going the Omawunmi way.
Now she had not confronted him, but I suggested she should. Except she doesn’t want the relationship anymore. Remember that it wasn’t easy building the relationship to the level it is right now.
Especially as she is the type that gives no shit about sex, men and relationship.
The guy messed up big time. He shouldn’t have brought another babe to any perimeter close to the woman he wanted to marry. Except of course, he was no longer interested, keen on continuing the relationship.
Sometimes guys are like that. They don’t know how to break off a relationship.
So they’d go ahead to do something despicable…like making the babe they want to discharge, to know they’re banging someone else.
Let me ask guys this question: can’t you love a babe without having sex with her? The best kind of love is one void of sex. It means love without a clause. I’ve experienced it, you know.
My dearest babe, I know you’re hurting real bad right now, but if he calls, give him chance to explain…if he doesn’t call, then know you’ve come to the end of the road. What he did, could be his way of severing the ties.
Get used to the idea.
Like T.J. Jakes said: “When people walk away from you, let them walk…don’t talk another person into calling you…loving you or caring about you. Let the person go! People leave you because they’re not joined to you. It means that their part in your story…life… is over…let them go!”
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