When he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night -Williams Shakespeare
Although it is exactly one year since her transition to greater glory, Amaka Ndoma-Egba continues to be a shining star in the sky of dear ones that she left behind.
For a woman who meant different good memories for different kinds of people in her universe, a one year anniversary of her last moments will come with mixed feelings of pain and pleasure. Pain because no one wanted it all to end the way it ended, and pleasure because we know that she was a warm and amiable character in life, and her after-life too will be a continuation of that personification.
To the family that she left behind, there is a reason for them to rejoice, even much as they continue to grieve. To have had the privilege of being a husband, daughter, son or relative to Amaka Ndoma-Egba is something to be grateful for. She represented humility, class, intellect and culture – attributes that are so rare to come by in our society nowadays.
For the staff and pupils who were under her leadership and tutorship at the Start Rite School, they are the ones who will keep the flag of her legacy flying. Though she is no more with us in this earthly space, Mrs. Ndoma-Egba left everyone who crossed her path with a virtue to remember her for. Those sweet memories and the flame of her outstanding virtuous life will forever provide the compass for how she will be remembered.
I met her husband, Senator Ndoma-Egba, in 2009. I was on a reportorial assignment as a correspondent of the Nigerian Tribune and I wasn’t confused about my instincts that the personality I had in front of me was going to be a great role model and friend. We struck friendship effortlessly and, soon, he took me on a voyage into his family life, introducing me to many of his brothers and other great Nigerians in his circle of friends.
But amongst all the people that I knew with Senator Ndoma-Egba, none had a bigger influence on the man like his late wife. To call them husband and wife will be a simplification of the divine bond that they enjoyed. She was a wife. She lived a life pomp and class, but at the center of her universe was an unparallel affection to her Catholic faith that she shared with her husband without reservations.
Anyone who knows Senator Ndoma-Egba would recognise his love for God and the Catholic church. In the mundane, you will know him for his politics and law profession, as well as being a lawn tennis enthusiast and a lover of Nigerian genre of Afro hip pop music. But Mrs. Ndoma-Egba was a kind of wife that would bring class and glamour into any vocation. Thus, the glamour that characterised Senator Victor Ndoma-Egba in all of his vocations was more or less a creation of his wife. Why wouldn’t any one cry for Ndoma-Egba when he lost such an Angel who gifted his world with Heavenly blessings? In the manner of people on a divine mission, Mrs. Ndoma-Egba idealized a life of service and commitment. She worshipped the Almighty and served her family. When we cried at the news of her death, it was more because of the earthly emptiness that her exit would mean, not because anyone was in doubt of her celestial destination.
There is something else about her enigma: unlike the norm with most women whose husbands are politically exposed personalities, she was not the type that would shield access to her husband. If you are a friend to Senator Ndoma-Egba, you automatically become a friend of his family and the woman we fondly remember today played her role well as a hostess to every visitor to the family.
If anyone visited any time when she was within, it was her who received such visitors and she has already entertained you to a meal on the family’s dining table even before the man of the house comes out. And if her husband was taking too much time, she would be the one to fetch the man out to attend to his guest!
It is already a year that she has gone into greater glory and we miss Mrs. Amaka Ndoma-Egba for everything that she represented in this side of the divide. But the memories of her graceful existence shall forever illuminate our sky.
Sanni writes from Ibadan, the Oyo State capital.