Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give five to Priya,
three to Sonia and two to Neha, then what will u get?
Kid: Three new girlfriends.
The Judge asked the defendant, “Mr. Jones, do you understand that you
have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the
truth?”
Mr Jones: “I do.”
“Now, what do you say to defend yourself?”
“Your Honour, under those limitations… nothing.”
A woman goes to a police station.
Woman: My husband went to the market yesterday to bring potatoes. He
has not returned home yet.
Inspector: Why don’t you cook something else then?
Two men visited a sports stadium.
First man: Why are all these people running?
Second man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
First man: If only the winner gets the cup, why are the other people running?
Anjali was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the
couch to do a bit of well-deserved complaining and self-pitying. She
moaned to her mom and brother, “Nobody loves me. The whole world hates
me.” Her brother, busy with a computer game, said: “That’s not true,
Anjali. Some people don’t even know you.”
Diner: Could I have a glass of water?
Waiter: To drink?
Diner: No, I want to rinse out a few things
Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting?
Criminal: I answered an ad that said, “Make money at home.”
Rahul: My sister made a chocolate cake for my birthday.
Kunal: Wow! How was it?
Rahul: The candles melted in the oven.
Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used to be up and out for
his morning walk at 5am.
Son: Dad, at your age, he had become the Prime Minister of England.
Salesman: That suit looks nice. It fits like a bandage.
Customer: Thanks. I bought it by accident.
A man was going to a railway line to commit suicide. He was carrying a
tiffin box with him.
Another man asked him why?
He replied: If the train gets late, will I remain hungry?