Lost touch with my soul
I had nowhere to turn
I had nowhere to go
Lost sight of my dream,
Thought it would be the end of me
I thought I’d never make it through
I had no hope to hold on to,
I thought I would break
I didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength
Just as these lyrics came from Whitney Houston via the radio on a chilly Sunday morning, I can’t but remember the lovely singer.
Her voice coming from the radio sprang up a discussion between me and my sister.
I said: “Sis, do you know a man can make and at the same time break you, especially when you are head over heels in love with him?”
“Of course dear,” she said.
We talked about how Whitney went down both psychologically, mentally, physically, emotionally after the man, whom she gave all her life and love, became a monster, turning her into a punching bag. He practically threw her love back at her face.
Although, the lyrics of the song above seems to portray Whitney as a strong lady who moved on after the heartaches and heartbreaks caused by her husband, Bobby Brown, but sincerely speaking, her life never remained the same.
She became shattered, beginning with the drug addiction and then the sad ending, which is no longer news to us all.
Just as we were saying this, my mind went to my undergraduate days. And I quickly shared the story with her while she listened with rapt attention.
There was this course-mate of mine whom we all knew to be a ‘runs girl’ like we used to call them back then.
Okay, let me use the language we all understand, ‘ARISTO BABE’.
Nike (not real name), is a typical Ibadan babe. I learnt that she lost her parents at a very tender age. So, Nike was left by her parents to the care of her maternal grandma.
Although, the grandma tried all her best to give Nike the best should could but unfortunately, age started catching up on the woman and Nike had to become the bread winner, fending for herself and the aged woman, who had been taking care of her from childhood.
Nike can never win a beauty contest, but she has a traffic jam sort of shape.
Her shape is capable of doing something to a guy’s system. It can make a guy go gaga! It can make a guy want to peel off her clothes and check out those hidden curves.
Yes! Any man who feels he’s man enough would pee in his short at the sight of Nike swinging her hips.
Her shape is like the figure 8 shape.
She has a very tiny waistline with drawn out hips. Oh! Nike is a sight to behold.
She hardly comes to classes. During examination, you will see her running from pillar to post trying to attach herself to the ‘EFIKOS’ in the class.
If you mistakenly sat near Nike during exams, you’re doomed, especially if you forget something and you needed somebody to remind you.
Oh! Sorry you will almost cry because the person sitting near you – Nike – was too dumb to help out!
Hmmmn! Her GP was always begging for freedom and at a static red pointer of withdrawal from the institution.
She falls into the category of babes who pay people to do their assignments and copy notes for them. Nike never showed any sign of seriousness. Her ‘ARISTO’ career seems to be more important to her than any other thing.
Well, I can’t really blame her; she had an aged grandma to care for. Sometimes I wondered what she was doing in school but well, she has her reasons.
Nike’s un-serious attitude towards learning went on until one day. She simply cut the sail off everyone’s ships, leaving us all gaping in amazement.
Nike’s case was like that of someone that just received salvation. For reasons nobody could fathom, she suddenly became more frequent in classes, well dressed and getting more reserved. Those eye popping dressings stopped…deliberately revealed cleavages that usually begs a guy to take a peep stopped….heavy make-up stopped…what else? In a nutshell, all the bad stuff, dirty habits stopped. It was a miracle, I tell you!
Everybody began to wonder what was happening. In fact, there was a day during one of our classes, a very logical course for that matter, Nike raised her hand to answer a question and we all sniggered and scoffed. The whole class became rowdy because nobody knew what was going to come out of her mouth!
Since we knew her, she had never answered nor asked questions in classes.
She could hardly express herself in well constructed English without “blowing gun shots.”
But she stunned us all into silence when she got the answer to the question. The class was so silent. The laughter died off. You could have heard a pin drop.
We all started wondering what was happening. She no longer paid anyone to do her assignments for her.
Before most of the ‘EFIKOS’ got to class, Nike would have gotten to class.
Then the news started spreading like a wildfire.
We heard that she had finally met her heartthrob!
She was said to have met this guy in one of her ‘ARISTO’ outings. The guy turned out to be her messiah.
The guy, an American returnee, was said to have fallen head over heels in love with Nike.
He pleaded with Nike to drop her ARISTO outings and to get serious with her life.
He promised to marry her, treat her like his sister, be a brother to her, and give her a shoulder to lean on in time of troubles, but above all, make her the mother of his kids!
The guy actually fulfilled his promises as he gave Nike a reason to smile and live a decent life like most normal girls on the campus.
Nike’s life took a dramatic change. Her GP, which was nothing to talk about before, and got astonishingly better. She no longer became a pest during exams. And before the end of the session, Nike joined her husband in America. They guy didn’t rob her of her pride o.
He married her legally and also carried out the necessary traditional marriage rites.
So when talking about a man making and breaking you as a lady, the choice is yours.
Remember this: if he breaks you, getting back on track might not be an easy task, but you can get back on track. The choices are yours!
When you are in a relationship, as you are now, with your heart, try to use your head at the same time.
It might be hard to get over the man you love, but you wouldn’t know until you try.
As women, we tend to continue relationships that destroy who we are socially, physically and mentally. We give up our happiness, families, pride, friends, wealth and successes in order to satisfy the man in our lives.
Let’s face it ladies, we are strong and can achieve so much on our own. Why let someone destroy what you’ve worked hard for? Let’s appreciate love and believe so much in ourselves.
Contribution by Adetola Aderonke Ademosun.