I was at a church wedding some weeks ago. It was a simple and nice ceremony. But that was until it was time for the groom to kiss his bride. He seemed reluctant at first. Maybe because the bride did not seem eager for the kiss. Nevertheless, “hey pressed their lips together”. What they did cannot be called kissing. It was awkward for us to watch as it was for them to do. It made me wonder what the problem was. Could it be that they were shy? Which is mostly the case. Or that they were clueless on how to go about it? Or maybe one or both partners did not believe in kissing.
Whatever the reason, they ought to have had a discussion about it before that day to save us all the embarrassment.
Kissing may seem like a simple act, but it has a lot of undertones and it can reveal a lot about a person’s state of mind towards another person. A great kiss can make one dizzy with desire or have you recoil in disgust. It is basically form of communication.
Kissing involves touching someone’s body parts, especially the lips and cheek, with your lips. In a broader sense, there are different types of kisses, but I want to concentrate on the French kiss, which is the kiss that involves sucking and licking on someone else’s lips.
I know there are a few cultures that don’t believe in kissing. And that just seems weird to me because kissing plays a major role in foreplay. So if you don’t kiss, how do you initiate foreplay? How do you show affection? How do you love your partner’s body?
Some can argue that it is a borrowed tradition. Even if that is, it is one that serves us well.
It also has many benefits, including:
1. Emotional bonding: Kissing is an important part of physical intimacy. It helps to create and maintain a bond.
2. Stress reduction: Kissing your partner, either tenderly or passionately, releases calming brain chemicals (neurotransmitters) that reduce stress levels and soothe the mind.
3. Foreplay: Passionate kisses can aid arousal for sexual intercourse.
4. Healthier mouth: Saliva contains substances that fight bacteria, viruses and fungi. Deep kissing increases the flow of saliva, which helps to keep the mouth, teeth and gums healthy.
5. Releases happy hormone: Kissing prompts your brain to release a happy elixir of feel-good chemicals like serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin. This isn’t only important for your happiness, it also may also help to strengthen your relationship.
6. A compatibility check: A kiss can be a powerful measure of your initial attraction to a person. From a recent survey, it was discovered that women, in particular, place more importance on kissing as a “mate assessment device” and as a means of “initiating, maintaining, and monitoring the current status of their relationship with a long-term partner”.
7. Increased immunity: Exposure to germs that inhabit your partner’s mouth helps to strengthen your immune system.
8. Helps you lose weight: During a passionate kiss, you might burn two calories a minute. What a fun way to lose some extra weight.
This does not mean kissing is without its pitfalls. Some infections can be gotten from engaging in it: both bacterial and virus infections.
Below are some Bacteria infections that can be transmitted by kissing:
A. Tooth decay: The bacteria that cause tooth decay are alive in saliva that can be passed on by a kiss.
B. Meningococcal disease: This is a potentially life-threatening condition that includes meningitis, inflammation of the membranes (meninges) that surround the brain and spinal cord, and septicemia. These bacteria can be spread either through direct contact or via droplets. Studies show that only deep kissing seems to be a risk factor.
Examples of illnesses caused by viruses that can be transmitted during kissing include:
Colds: Different viruses can cause the common cold. Colds are thought to be spread by direct contact with the virus. You could catch a cold from airborne droplets or by direct contact with secretions (fluids and mucous) from the infected person’s nose and throat.
Glandular fever: Also known as the kissing disease. Glandular fever is the common term for a viral infection called infectious mononucleosis caused by the Epstein-Barr virus. The virus is spread through saliva and infection occurs through contact.
Herpes infection: Viruses that are considered part of the herpes family include Epstein-Barr, varicella-zoster (causes chickenpox), and herpes simplex (causes cold sores). Herpes simplex virus can be spread through direct contact with the virus when kissing. Herpes is most easily spread to others when the blisters are forming or have erupted. The virus can be “shed” (spread to others) from the site of blisters even when they have healed. Chickenpox is easily spread from person to person by direct contact, droplets or airborne spread.
Hepatitis B: Kissing may also transmit this virus, although blood has higher levels of this virus than saliva. Infection can occur when infected blood and saliva come into direct contact with someone else’s bloodstream or mucous membranes (Mucous membranes line various body cavities including the mouth and nose). A person is more likely to be infected when kissing if they have open sores in or around the mouth.
Warts: Warts in the mouth can be spread through kissing, especially if there are areas of recent trauma.
All these infections should not deter you from enjoying pleasurable moments of kissing with your partner. There are several things you can do to reduce the risk of passing on or catching an infection while kissing. You should try to:
i. Avoid kissing when you or the other person is sick.
ii. Avoid kissing anyone on the lips when you, or they, have an active cold sore, warts or ulcers around the lips or in the mouth.
iii. Maintain good oral hygiene.
iv. Cough and sneeze into a hanky if you have a cold.
See your doctor about immunisations. Vaccines are available to prevent some infectious diseases such as chickenpox, hepatitis B and group C meningococcal infection.
Finally, kissing is a great way to communicate and bond with your partner. It is a fantastic addition to foreplay and can be very instrumental in a non-penetrative sex session. As I mentioned above, kissing is not restricted to just the face, you can kiss any and every body part.
However, you may want to be careful about kissing just anyone to avoid infections. Safety should always be a priority.
I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
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