Two persons, a man and a woman, having a good understanding and entering into an agreement come together to start a family. The success or otherwise of the family depends largely on the level of strength and capacity each of the two has, and how complementing the two are to each other to strike a good life balance. The strength and capacity of both the man and woman means they are to be both productive socially, financially, spiritually, economically, intellectually, etc.
Where the two are strong and capable, they are able to fly, nay, soar higher with the use of both wings.
In the contemporary time, the man and the woman need to possess both financial and economic capacities, but not to day that other identified virtues (strengths) are less important. Financial and economic pressures that families are facing today have changed the rhythm of yester-life where a man would boastfully tell his wife not to worry about exercising her financial and economic capacity. In the time past, the income made the man might be sufficient to take care of the family. However today, if one of them is not financially and economically productive for good income pooling, it is like a bird trying to fly with one wing.
In African societies, it is the woman – the wife – that often stays at home under the pretence of taking care of the children. Notwithstanding the amount of money invested to acquire a degree or skill, quite a sizeable number of women are satisfied with not using the financial and economic capacity they have acquired but to stay at home as full time housewife. Not a few ladies today believe their contributions to a family is their physical appearance. They even boast of it and they are looking for the men who will take care of them; i.e. provide the financial needs of the family. They believe that once they get married, it is the sole responsibility of the husband to provide for all needs. Theirs? To sleep, wake up, eat, and sleep again. Do you say such women must be lazy individuals? Also, many women are talked into this situation by their men that they (men) are able to provide their needs. Also, some women see staying at home and taking care of the home front as work they consider big enough for full time engagement.
The direction of my gist in this piece is that whether taking care of the home is arduous a task, or not, is secondary. The main concern is sustainability and economic side – the ability to productively engage the mind in tasks that bring life-long income. Let’s settle this before we go far in discussing this issue: a man who coerces, deceives, threatens or cajoles his wife to permanently stay at home is a consumer of another human being. It is a deliberate attempt to consume the woman; rendering her economic capacity useless. By the time the man is no longer available to provide her needs, the woman is left dry in the sun – not knowing what to do or where to start from to at least take care of herself.
In today’s Nigeria that providing for family needs has become so tough, it is bothersome we still have several women who choose to be literally glued to their beds in the name of being a housewife. When they managed to extricate themselves from their beds, the next thing the fingers could clutch is the television remote control. When this pattern becomes a lifestyle, a housewife tends to believe that the only contribution she owes people around her is just her presence; and she considers this a great favour on her part to the people. Her idea about living is that she should be well provided for and decorated beautifully without her being troubled or bothered to make any economic contribution. When her demands could no longer be matched, the situation becomes unmanageable and the home front becomes unbearable.
Troubles in several homes today is caused by lack of proper financial planning. If your today is financially secured, what about your tomorrow (if unceremoniously the source or provider of family income goes with the wind). Not a few women’s existences have been shattered by unexpected and unfortunate incidents happening to their bread winners. Some suddenly realised that they must now provide for the family members – and the question is where would they start from? It is absolutely unhealthy for a married woman – or a man – to underutilise her productive capacity or become an idle hand. Such a family’s quality of living cannot be described as being at optimum. What of if the ‘sole provider’ suddenly become incapacitated or out of circulation? A housewife hardly gives this a thought. And are you so confident about inheritance? At times hope and expectation are dashed. I should wake you up with a good kick on your side.
When the brain is not gainfully engaged, it begins to rust. When a housewife – or househusband you say – is left with rusty hands, rusty intellect, obsolete skills (or no skill at all) they have no other choice than to become beggars, seeking assistance or engaging in some anti-social behaviours to feed themselves and their children. As far as adding financial value is concerned, a housewife may qualify as a parasite, a leech, a liability, and a minus – because over a period her mind may no longer be able to process current information to offer qualitative counsel for good decisions. The fact is that this person cannot see reason why she needs to make financial contribution to the common good of the family. She is not concerned about adding value to anyone or the environment, and she never attempt to do something that will bring income. She believes her future is secured by the fact that someone else is providing food, shelter, clothing, and social interactions.
. Emmanuel is a business planning and cooperative consultant. He works with a team of international consultants to conceptualise and plan agribusiness and housing projects. As a certified trainer authorised to use the International Labour Organisation’s enterprise development modules, he trains entrepreneurs and organises workshops and seminars for potential and practising entrepreneurs as well as business managers and cooperatives. He also speaks and facilitates at leadership and management workshops on invitation. His book, Business Planning Made Easy: Step by Step Guide On How To Turn Your Idea To Profitable Business’ is the latest of the books authored by him. Tel.: +234(0)9068602954 (call and sms), +234(0)8023257707 (whatsApp only).
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