Sexual trends evolve, influenced by societal changes and advancements in technology. In recent years, a new sex trend called “Shallowing” has emerged.
Shallowing is a form of sexual play that involves lightly stimulating the entrance to the vagina. Outercourse, if you will.
Rather than inserting a penis, fingers, toys, etc deep into the vagina, it involves entering just a little bit, into the part of the vagina called the introitus. An inch or thereabout, but not in.
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Shallowing can be done during a steamy solo session or with a partner. You just lightly enter the vagina with the tip of the penis or finger or using the tongue or a toy at the entrance – not fully inside.
So what does shallowing feel like?
The nerves that are most plentiful deep inside the vagina feel primarily pressure, motion, and fullness. Those are great sensations. But the external vulva and the introitus (the opening of the vagina) have more nerves that can feel sensations like stroking. So this kind of play can be extremely pleasurable. The entry is the vagina’s most sensitive part and so often we rush past it during sex and play.
Any woman can benefit. You could do anal shallowing as well. The neurology there is also a difference between shallow and deeper penetration. This kind of play can be explored solo or partnered. And a person who doesn’t enjoy deeper penetration (whose cervix hurts during deep insertion, for instance), might love this because they can get penetration pleasure without the discomfort they may fear.
This might not sound as much fun for a man. Honestly, if that person isn’t intrigued by how they can make you feel by teasing you and slowing down the scene, they might not be a very intuitive pleasure-focused lover. Interestingly, the head of the penis, which is all they’d insert when shallowing, is usually the most sensitive part of the penis. This technique will be sensation-filled for both partners if they are mindful and focused on what’s going on.
Whether you practice Shallowing as foreplay in addition to traditional sex or indulge in the whole thing completely and without any extras is up to you.
So how is it done?
Exploring this with a partner with a penis (or strap-on): For most people with a vagina, any vaginal insertion, whether shallowing or deep, is better when turned on. And that can mean what we often call foreplay such as making out, sexy touching, and cunnilingus. It helps get us ready for and (often) desirous of insertion. That’s good to remember for any kind of sex. With shallowing, the more turned on you are, the more sensitive the introitus will be. In other words, it will be hotter and more worthwhile. This can be done in most positions. Think of it as kind of a controlled, chilled intercourse where there isn’t as much movement, but every movement is intensely pleasurable.
Here’s a method with a kind of intuitive foreplay that heightens anticipation: Rubbing the penile (or dildo) head over the clitoris and up and down the vulva between the labia as though insertion is imminent, but stopping and teasing before entry. Do that for a while, and when the head of the penis pushes in and stops right there, it can be amazing. Then in a bit, start a little movement. Not full thrusting though, until you are ready to go from shallow to longer thrusts. Don’t hurry to that step because there is so much pleasure to be had in shallowing.
Exploring this with a partner: Again, it’s always better to be turned on already. A partner can stroke the clit and vulva (use lube for the slickest, sexiest sensation) with their fingers and gradually begin dipping a fingertip or two in. Don’t go past the first knuckle. Make sure your nails are smooth or wear a glove. Once you’ve entered, begin exploring with a little bit of movement. This is also a great way to enhance cunnilingus. With a toy, you can use a vibe or not, but smooth and/or cushy might feel especially nice.
Exploring this solo: Same principles as above – turn-on is good, take your time, tease and explore, and use lube, fingers or a toy. Unlike some solo positions where it’s challenging to get your fingers deep into the vagina, this won’t be a problem when you’re just exploring up to the first knuckle. This is easy to do solo and can be a lovely addition to a clitoral focus. Or just relax and try shallowing by itself for a while.
Why you should try shallowing?
– Get to know your body and sexual responses better.
– Explore a broader range of pleasure options (especially vaginal ones).
– Experience more vaginal and vulval sensations.
– Slow down and savour the pleasure.
– Decenter the idea that sex = full penetration and thrusting. There is so much more to sex than that. And many people who focus on it miss opportunities to get more aroused, which ironically would make f*cking-style insertion hotter and more pleasurable. A partner who does this with you learns (or already possesses) more nuance and finesse even if full-on f*cking is on the menu
– It’s perfect for men with smaller penises and for women who find deep penetration painful or uncomfortable for other reasons.
What you should keep in mind if you want to try this technique with your partner: Start slowly and gently. And with your hands and fingers. Be careful, explore this extremely erogenous zone, and look closely – and occasionally deep into your partner’s eyes.
Shallowing experts recommend exploring the intimate area manually first to get the lady (and yourself) in the mood. You realise: Shallowing is not for fast fuckers (sorry). Because it’s about building up the desire – so that you can then sail together into the big finale.
Before you insert your penis, you should make sure that your partner is wet. This is the only way to enjoy penetrative sex – whether shallow or deep. If it is too dry underneath, this can lead to unwanted friction, even irritation, and penetration can be perceived as unpleasant.
Whether you practice Shallowing as foreplay in addition to traditional sex or indulge in the whole thing completely and without any extras is up to you.
What does the man get out of all this, you may be asking yourself. A legitimate question, but believe me: Shallowing is also an attractive affair for men. Just the sight of a woman writhing with real, unfeigned lust is incredibly hot.
In addition, the glans are particularly stimulated with this technique, a massive turn-on for many men. If visual pleasure and glans games alone aren’t enough for you, you can also massage the shaft. But only to the extent that you continue to have yourself under control.
Of course, you can also ask your partner to massage your shaft. Or, even better: you let the woman take the lead and “use” your penis like a sex toy that exists solely for her satisfaction.
Although Shallowing also works with the tongue or toys, it’s more fun with a penis. You should try it out.
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