I was at a wedding ceremony recently. Though I got to the venue quite late, it was just in time for the couple’s kiss. It’s always a beauty to behold two people locking lips with their eyes closed to the world.
This was a passionate one indeed. It was like they were in a world of their own and had forgotten we were there. It took the prompting of the officiating clergy to get them disentangled. Love, they say, is a beautiful thing.
Have you ever wondered why people close their eyes when they are engaged in a kiss? Well, it’s because some things are better absolved and felt with the eyes closed.
Be that as it may, maintaining eye contact is an even more powerful act not only in relationships, but for everyday living. Eye contact is seen as a demonstration of confidence, trust and honesty in all facets of social interaction. When you make eye contact with the person you are talking with, it shows that you are sincere. Also, when you make eye contact, you project an aura of self-confidence.
According to brain experts, eye contact has the power to stimulate a simple chemical reaction in the brain. When you look at someone in the eyes, you are producing a chemical called phenylethylamine. It is a chemical responsible for inducing excitement conducive to falling in love.
The power of eye contact is so strong that research has found that it creates physiological arousal. So, not only will you feel in the mood for physical connection when your partner makes eye contact, you can also expect your body to respond at a biological level.
Here are some benefits of eye contact in a relationship:
- Eye contact from a partner can be a sexual invitation. Giving your partner “the look” can put them in the mood for sex and enhance deep connection with them.
- Detect ingenuity. Eye contact allows you to determine whether or not your partner is genuine. You can see if their looks match their words, especially when they smile. A genuine smile reaches the eyes. Whereas a fake one engages only the lower half of the face.
- Leads to engagement. When you make eye contact with your partner, not only will you feel more aroused, but you’ll also feel as if they are more engaged in the conversation. Recent Research conducted shows that eye contact establishes more connections even between strangers. Eye contact increases the connection between partners and makes us feel that our partner hears us and cares about us.
- Understanding your partner. Your partner may tell you that nothing is wrong when upset, but looking into their eyes tells the true story. You can probably tell just from making eye contact when your partner is sad. Whereas, they may appear bright-eyed when they are happy. Looking people in the eye is an excellent way to stay in tune with their feelings, which is vital in relationships, as it allows you to offer support when they appear sad and share in their happiness when their eyes are full of joy.
- Important for intimacy. Intimacy and emotional connection are important for a relationship to thrive. And eye contact is one way to achieve this connection. When you look into your partner’s eyes, you can begin to feel what they are feeling and share their emotions with them. This draws the two of you closer, allowing for a stronger connection and greater empathy between the two of you.
- A sign of love. When you and your partner gaze in each other’s eyes fondly, the two of you will be able to feel the love that exists in the relationship. As corny as it may sound, staring into each other’s eyes is a way to express your love for one another. When your partner looks into your eyes during love making, it creates a different kind of bond that cannot be expressed in words.
- A connector. Studies have shown that when a person’s pupils become dilated, their partner’s pupils also increase in size. Therefore, looking into our partner’s eyes causes physiological changes that lead us to mimic them.
- Builds trust. Looking into your partner’s eyes and holding their gaze when you are having a conversation helps you to connect with them. This increases feelings of trust. It is critical since trust is an important component of healthy relationships.
- Essential for bonding. To have a successful and lasting relationship, two people must develop a close bond with each other. Regular eye contact bonds you to your partner as the eyes, as the saying goes, are the “windows to the soul”. Looking into each other’s eyes helps you feel connected emotionally and spiritually, creating a strong and lasting bond.
- To keep the fire burning. Eye contact may indicate attraction early in the relationship. It can also help to keep the attraction alive over time. Locking eyes communicates to your partner that you are attracted to them, which is helpful for the relationship.
- To gauge your partner’s enjoyment. In or out of the bedroom, eye contact is one of the major ways we communicate with one another because our eyes are so expressive. When you’re having sex, you may or may not be super chatty, meaning the eyes could be your partner’s aid to understand how you’re feeling about what they’re doing in the moment. Also, lots of people struggle to verbally tell their partner how they feel or what they want in bed. So looking in your eyes can be a valuable way for your partner to assess whether you’re enjoying yourself or not.
What are the disadvantages of lack of eye contact in a relationship?
The relevance of eye contact in relationships cannot be overemphasised. This means that a lack of eye contact can damage relationships. For example, if you never make eye contact with your partner when they are talking, they may feel ignored or as if you are not entirely paying attention to them.
Lack of eye contact can make your partner feel that you do not desire them or are no longer attracted to them. It can make them feel insecure and doubt their place in your life.
Inability to making eye contact can weaken the bond and emotional connection you have with each other. Lack of eye contact can lead your partner to feel a distrust for you.
Eye contact is important to connect people and develop the bond that is necessary for a healthy relationship. If you find that you or your partner always avoid eye contact, there may be a lack of connection between the two of you or an underlying issue like anxiety.
If this is the case or if there seems to be a lack of intimacy and connection in your relationship, you may need to seek professional help.
Lastly, if eye contact isn’t already a habit in your relationship, take some time to consider how you feel about it: if you struggle to make or hold eye contact, especially in bed, explore the potential reasons why. There are a number of reasons eye contact could make you uncomfortable. So try to explore these reasons without self-judgment.
Low self-esteem, negative past experiences, including in sexual or romantic relationships, or uncertainty about your current partner could all affect your ability to be intimate with a romantic or sexual partner. If you feel comfortable doing so, talk to your partner about your feelings and ask them about their experiences and feelings too.
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