I was at the market just a few days ago to buy some fruits and I was amazed at the increment in cost of my regular fruits. Then I remembered it was the season of Ramadan. It is the usual practice for food items to be scarce and costly at this time because it is in demand. Most of our Muslim brothers and sisters break their fast with a variety of fruits and other food items.
Still in the spirit of Ramadan, a young bride once asked me if it was proper for her to demand sex from her husband during the Ramadan.
I responded by telling her that it was only her husband who could answer that question because each person has his or her style. According to Muslim scholars, one is supposed to abstain from all appearances of sex from sun up to sun down. Married couples can however have sex during the night time before day break, but it is up to the couples to find what works for them and stick by it. Which is why communication is important. Now let’s focus on Ramadan.
So we know Muslims all over will be starting their yearly fast (Ramadan) on the first day of March. This makes the month of March a holy one for Muslims. This means abstaining from food, drink, smoking, drug use, and sexual relations from sunrise to sundown until the end of this lunar month. This very important and holy month is regarded as an opportunity for improving self-discipline, focusing on good intentions, carrying out good or charitable deeds, praying, and studying the Quran.
However, fasting during Ramadan doesn’t mean forgetting about life, daily responsibilities, and personal relationships for the rest of the month. While abstaining from sexual relations during daylight hours is an accepted part of the monthly fast, there is no prohibition on non-sexual forms of intimacy. In fact, it is encouraged as a positive way to strengthen the bond between partners.
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That said, it can be easy for partners to occasionally overlook each other’s needs. For many, the rigours of fasting on top of the usual daily responsibilities can feel a bit overwhelming. However, there are simple things you can do to stay connected to each other without draining your energy or breaking your fast:
Reserve some quality together time: This can include relaxing together at home, preparing the predawn or evening meal together, or just taking a walk in the park. Regardless of which activity you choose, what’s important is that you and your partner are able to enjoy each other’s company without the burden of stress or anxiety.
Be generous with physical touch: This includes holding hands, sharing cuddles in bed, giving massages, and other physical forms of non-sexual affection (kisses, hugs, etc.).
Keep the lines of communication clear and open: Talk to each other often, and be genuine in intention. This means listening to each other’s words, as well as observing each other’s body language and non-verbal cues. Make the effort to talk about the good times and shared goals you have together. If your partner does something beneficial for you, don’t forget to give a genuine and specific compliment that expresses your gratitude for having him or her in your life. If there is a disagreement or something you’re unhappy with, don’t brush it under the rug. Talk about it in a way that focuses on the problem and solution, instead of who gets the blame.
Allow each other the necessary time and space for cultivating self-intimacy: Being connected to one’s true self provides many benefits, which includes increased self-acceptance, confidence, self-awareness, and emotional resilience. It can also strengthen relationships by empowering each partner in making an authentic connection to each other based on mutuality and respect.
Be supportive: Understand that Ramadan can be a challenging time, so be supportive of your partner’s efforts and struggles. Showing empathy and compassion can help maintain intimacy in the relationship.
Finally, one of the main goals of Ramadan is to cultivate patience and the remembrance of God. By observing Ramadan with your partner – which can include praying together and practicing patience towards each other – you can preserve the intimacy in your relationship.
Benefits of Intimacy during Ramadan
Intimacy during Ramadan can provide several advantages for couples, addressing emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects of their relationship. Here are some key benefits:
1. Strengthened Emotional Connection
– Bonding Time: Sharing moments of intimacy can deepen the emotional connection between partners, fostering love and understanding.
– Stress Relief: Intimacy can reduce stress and anxiety, especially during a month that involves fasting and spiritual reflection.
2. Enhanced Communication
– Open Dialogue: Engaging in intimate moments encourages open communication, allowing couples to discuss their feelings, desires, and any concerns.
– Shared Experiences: Couples may share their experiences during fasting and worship, enhancing their support for each other.
3. Spiritual Growth
– Sacred Moments: Intimacy can be viewed as a sacred act, where couples can appreciate the divine nature of their relationship.
– Unity in Faith: Engaging in intimacy can enhance a couple’s spiritual journey together, fostering a sense of partnership in practicing their faith.
4. Addressing Physical Needs
– Physical Connection: Intimacy provides a healthy outlet for physical affection, which is especially important during a month of self-control and discipline.
– Improved Health: Sexual activity can contribute to overall well-being, reducing stress and increasing happiness.
5. Promoting Mutual Support
– Teamwork: Couples can support each other in balancing fasting, prayer, and other responsibilities, reinforcing their partnership.
– Caring Dynamics: Understanding each other’s needs during Ramadan can strengthen a couple’s ability to care for each other emotionally and physically.
6. Building Trust and Security
– Vulnerability: Sharing intimate moments during this sacred time can create a safe space for vulnerability, fostering trust and security between partners.
– Commitment Reinforcement: Intimacy acts as a reminder of commitment to each other, reinforcing the bond that couples share during this spiritually significant month.
7. Celebrating Togetherness
– Shared Joy: Engaging in intimacy can be a joyful experience that couples look forward to, marking the end of fasting each day with shared delight.
– Cultural Practices: Many cultures have rituals of intimacy during Ramadan that can enhance togetherness and celebration, enriching the couple’s experience.
Conclusion
While intimacy during Ramadan is a personal choice and should be approached with respect for each partner’s comfort level and spiritual beliefs, it undeniably has the potential to bolster the relationship between couples. Approaching intimacy thoughtfully can enrich bonds, offering deep emotional and spiritual benefits during this holy month.
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