This is the question I was asked by a younger friend of mine: Does clitoris size matter in sexual pleasure? She complained to me about her inability to have an orgasm. After asking several questions, which she answered, I was still unable to decipher her problem. So I asked if she was circumcised. She said no, that she did indeed have a clitoris but it is a tiny one.

Now I knew where the problem came from. Because her clitoris was small in size, it would require extra stimulation and time to get maximum sexual pleasure or an orgasm. And if the partner is ignorant or not will to go the extra mile, there is bound to be some dissatisfaction. So I decided to address this issue because it is a common one.

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So why is the clitoris important? The clitoris is the female powerhouse. The gateway to the land of orgasm. Every clitoris is unique. And it varies in size. Some are larger than others. You should know though that most of your clitoris is hidden in your body and pelvis.

It’s bigger internally than it is externally. It is shaped like a wishbone and it extends all the way down to the vagina. It is massively important to a woman’s climax. This is because it has thousands of nerve endings. As a matter of fact, the clitoris is responsible for 90 percent of women’s orgasms.

No thanks to public opinion of what a female body should look like, it is common for someone with a larger clitoral hood to feel self-conscious or feel like something is wrong with them. Most people judge by the pictures they see in medical diagrams and videos on porn sites. Most of these women have smaller sized clitoral zones or they are fetishised for having larger ones. Either way, this distorts people’s views of female genitalia.

Some women who feel self conscious about their clitoris go as far as having surgery to conform to the accepted look. It is okay to be different. Diversity is beautiful and it makes the world go round. It is better and more productive to celebrate and appreciate your uniqueness instead of feeling shame about it.

It is also crucial to know that the clitoris will not remain the same size forever. It can double in size when you’re turned on. More so, by the time we hit menopause, the clitoris could be seven times the size it was during puberty.

You should know that the size of your clitoris won’t affect your ability to orgasm, but the size of your clitoral hood might. If your clitoris is covered by a thicker hood, you may have to apply more direct pressure in order to reach orgasm. You may also be able to gently draw back your clitoral hood so that you can more directly stimulate your clitoris.

Still there are some arguments that size can affect orgasms. A recent study found a correlation between bigger clitorises and more intense orgasms. From this study, it was gathered that those who had smaller clitorises found it difficult to orgasm. Those who have clits positioned about 5 millimetres to 6 millimetres further away from the vagina also seem to have a harder time reaching orgasm because of the position of the clit and it not being able to receive as much stimulation during penetration.

It was also decided that if your clitoris is on the smaller side, it might take you more time, energy and focus to reach an orgasm.

It is interesting to note though that when you have more sex, your body produces more oestrogen and testosterone hormones and oxytocin. These work together to increase libido. Testosterone can make the clitoris grow. In fact, women who take testosterone will see a noticeable increase in size. These women tend to have bigger clitoris. So while there is a link between smaller clitorises and a lower libido, correlation doesn’t necessarily mean causation.

While the size and location of your clitoris may play a role in your orgasm, there can be other contributing factors such as depression, anxiety, relationship issues and conflicted feelings about sex. Women who have difficulty reaching orgasm might consider talking to a sex therapist.

Another factor that can make a difference in how much sexual pleasure someone experiences is shame or embarrassment. If you don’t feel comfortable about the size or structure of your clitoris and vulva, it may block you from deeper sensation.

For those looking to explore, here are a few tips on how to stimulate a small clitoris for orgasm:

1. Easy does it when it comes to clitoral stimulation. The softer the touch, the better. Start off by working your index finger in slow circles around her clitoris without touching it directly. Keep it slow and gentle. Most men tend to be way too rough with the clitoris. So err on the side of caution unless she tells you otherwise.
2. Use your hand and tongue simultaneously. Allow your hands and tongue to multitask during foreplay. Remember that the clitoris has legs to it. So when she gets more aroused, use your hands to massage the labia lips. Then after teasing her on the outside, explore a little deeper by massaging and licking around the inner lips. Her clitoris should become more enlarged as she gets more aroused along with her entire vaginal area. From there, explore her vaginal opening with your fingers while using your tongue to lick her clit.
3. Don’t rush to penetrate. To stimulate the most pleasurable area in a woman’s vagina, a lot of restraint and patience is required. The first third of the vagina is full of nerve endings. So when it comes to vaginal stimulation, focus here rather than on deep penetration.
4. Scissors position. This position is an amazing one for women with smaller clitorises. You can start off with missionary, then she lays one leg flat and puts one on your shoulder so that she’s lying on one hip. The man then puts his legs on either side of her flat leg and slides in. This maximises the contact between her pubic mound and your body, allowing for grinding stimulation while having penetrative sex.

It’s important to embrace and get familiar with your body, especially your intimate areas. Figuring out how your body works and how best to please your body is the first step toward having mind-blowing orgasms. Note that women confident about their sexual organs find it easier to have an orgasm.

I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.

Let’s meet tonight (Friday) in the chatroom. If you want to be a part of it, send me a message on Telegram at: @tiwa_says. Chatroom opens at 10pm every Friday.

Watch out for my YouTube channel.

tiwa_says; 09032331388; tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.