We are all users, before you disagree, think about it….
We are all needy. This isn’t a bad thing in itself because we were created that way. To need each other.
Yet, you often hear people say: He used her; she used me. And I wonder: How? Didn’t you benefit anything in return from the person, no matter how little?
We all use each other for different needs. Even people who claim to love themselves are using each other for their emotional needs, which is same for families.
We as humans, have a wide variety of needs, which include financial needs, sexual needs, intellectual needs, social needs, it is endless, and most of these needs can only be met by a fellow human. So at every point, we are using each other.
Conflict arises when you feel you are not getting your needs met in the measure you give out. To get that is really wonderful, but who is to say because you fill a need for someone, the person must reciprocate by filling that same need for you as well? If truth be told, one person cannot fill all the needs of another person. We have different people in our lives to fill different needs and parts of our lives.
It is worthy of note that the person needing emotional support, for example, may not be able to fill that same need for someone else because that is the area where he/she is deficient. So expecting such will surely lead to a disagreement or lack of fulfilment from the other person.
We are meant to complement each other, not complete each other.
Which is why it is important to be open and cultivate friendships and relationships, as no man is an island, we need each other.
One friend may have a listening ear, to hear you out when you are down and feel like talking, another may be a fun person, to brighten your dull days with fun outings, while someone else is there to give you professional advice, and so on.
One person can’t be all that to another person.
Let’s stop expecting so much from each other and be appreciative of whatever we find pleasing in the other person, even if it’s one thing.
Have a fun weekend.
#tiwa_says.