A few years ago, a couple I was counseling (let’s call them Tunde and Ada), felt like they were constantly stepping on each other’s toes. Small misunderstandings turned into big arguments, and their relationship felt more draining than fulfilling. Then one evening, after a particularly exhausting day, Ada had a realisation: “We need boundaries.”
She confided in Tunde. And together they made a simple change, giving each other space to recharge individually and reconnect more meaningfully. This decision reignited the respect, love, and intimacy they missed in their relationship. So, do boundaries exist in marriage? Absolutely. And when set with love and intention, they don’t push couples apart. They bring them closer.
Boundaries in marriage are limits and expectations that couples set for themselves and each other to maintain their individuality, respect, and emotional well-being. Boundaries in marriage are not meant to restrict or control, but to protect, respect, and nurture your relationship. They are essential guidelines to create respect, love, and understanding in a marriage.
The following are examples of marriage boundaries
• Communication boundaries: Setting clear expectations for how you want to communicate, such as active listening, no interrupting, or no criticising.
• Emotional boundaries: Establishing what emotions are and aren’t acceptable to express, like no name-calling or no stonewalling.
• Physical boundaries: Defining personal space, intimacy, and physical affection.
• Financial boundaries: Agreeing on financial decisions, spending habits, and responsibilities.
• Time boundaries: Setting aside individual time, shared time, and prioritising quality time together.
• Personal boundaries: Respecting each other’s hobbies, interests, and friendships.
• Digital boundaries: Establishing rules for technology use, social media, and online interactions.
• Intimacy boundaries: Defining expectations for emotional and physical intimacy.
• Conflict resolution boundaries: Agreeing on how to resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner.
• Respect boundaries: Establishing expectations for respect, empathy, and kindness.
How do you Set and maintain healthy boundaries in marriage?
• Communicate openly: Discuss boundaries and expectations regularly.
• Respect each other’s needs: Prioritise understanding and respecting each other’s limits.
• Be flexible: Be willing to adjust boundaries as your relationship evolves.
• Set consequences: Establish consequences for when boundaries are not respected.
• Seek support: Consult with a therapist or counsellor if needed.
While the term “boundaries” might not be explicitly mentioned in the Bible, the concept of setting limits and respecting individuality within marriage is supported by various scriptures such as Ephesians 5:33, Genesis 2:24, Song of Solomon 3:4, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 25:28, Acts 17:26, Matthew 6:33, and Galatians 6:2.
These scriptures emphasise the importance of respecting individuality, communicating effectively, and maintaining a healthy and loving relationship.
Boundaries in marriage aren’t about distance – they’re about creating a stronger, more loving connection. Just like Tunde and Ada, every couple will face moments when they feel stretched thin. But by recognising the importance of boundaries and working together to establish them, you can transform challenges into opportunities for growth and deeper intimacy.
Take a moment to reflect:
Are there areas in your marriage where boundaries could bring more peace and understanding? If so, start the conversation today.
A stronger, healthier marriage is always within reach.
Until next Sunday.
JI.
+2348023433388, 09134993751.
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