I got an unusual call recently. It was from someone I had never met, but he said he is a fan and a faithful reader of my articles. That was good to know, but it wasn’t the reason for the call. He complained to me that his wife was not good in bed.
He added he had tried to draw her out of her shell and even bought a few sex toys, but so far, nothing has changed.
He was getting frustrated and decided to reach out to me as a last resort. I encouraged him to be patient and give me some time to speak with his wife before making any rash decision. This is a complaint I get regularly from the menfolk, so I decided to bring it to the open. Sometimes the reason for a woman’s sexual inadequacy can be medical or psychological, but not in all cases.
So what makes a woman good in bed? Let’s find out.
Being good in bed is quite subjective because men are different and unique in their ways. It is interesting to note that not all of them like big bums and large breasts. And some popular sexual acts are not coveted by all men. Everyone has their preferences. So it’s crucial to note that what makes a woman good in bed isn’t straightforward.
Here are some signs that show that you have what it takes to be considered good in bed:
1. Confidence in the bedroom turns your partner on. Knowing that you aren’t afraid to display your sexuality spices things up real fast. This could include wearing sexy lingerie, being confident about your naked body, and taking control in the bedroom.
2. Having sex with someone who’s not really into sexual activity can be a turn-off. A woman who’s good in bed is someone who’s enjoying the experience and taking initiative.
3. Sex is all about communication. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation, but you must be on the same page. You need to know what gives your partner pleasure and he also needs to know how to satisfy you sexually. What causes friction between partners most of the time is sexual dissatisfaction.
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4. Men like women who can take charge in the bedroom. Ironically, many women want to take charge, but they’re scared of the response they’ll get from their partner.
5. Sex is supposed to be a fun exercise, though it can get intense and aggressive, sometimes. But if you’re not having fun and laughing during sex, then what’s the point? A woman who’s good in bed is someone who’s enjoying the experience and having fun.
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6. A woman who is great in bed has to be vocal. Silence can be a buzzkill, but it doesn’t mean that you have to be a screamer except if that’s what gets your partner off. When you feel comfortable expressing yourself during sex, you’ll enjoy the experience more. And that’ll make your partner feel great as well.
7. Because men are visual creatures, showing them what you like makes you good in bed. It’s okay to demonstrate by moving his hands to your special spots and positioning your body the way you like it, also using words and nonverbal cues to let him know he is doing what you like goes a long way in being an expressive lover.
8. Keeping eye contact is a turn-on for most men. They love to see a woman’s reaction during sex. They look into your eyes to get a sense of how much you are enjoying it. Eye contact is also a form of emotional connection. Surprisingly, guys like that too. The more you can lose yourself in the moment and bask in the pleasure he is giving you, the better lover you are.
9. Men are seen as the dominant sex. But sometimes they don’t want to be. There are times when a man wants you to initiate sex so he doesn’t have to. It makes him feel wanted. They like to be seduced just like we do. So, initiating sex sends him the message that you want him. And that boosts his confidence level.
10. Men like women who actively participate in the sexual experience. Don’t just lay there like a log. What makes a woman good in bed is doing things like thrusting her hips in sync with his thrusts, grinding her hips, and flexing her muscles. You can also squeeze his arms and pull his body closer to yours, or use your lips to explore his body. All of these things will let him know you are enjoying yourself.
11. Men want variety. So, if you’re with a man and you only want to do the missionary position, he’s going to get bored. Men always crave something new and different.
12. It’s so easy to fall into a routine when you are in a relationship. That’s why spontaneity is hot for men. You should try something that he is not expecting.
13. A woman should get kinky with her man sometimes. Dominating in bed is a little kinky, but why not try to do a little more than that? Get out of your comfort zone and try something out of the ordinary. If you’re in a relationship, then you will want to discuss it first. Talk about your boundaries and what you both want. Ask him what he considers taboo when it comes to sex and what he is willing to try.
14. A willingness to try new things and explore different sexual experiences is seen as a positive trait in a partner. Men appreciate a woman who is adventurous and outgoing in the bedroom. Research supports the importance of sexual exploration and experimentation in maintaining a healthy sexual relationship.
Finally, we are all different and unique as I noted earlier so it’s always better for partners in a relationship to communicate regularly about their sexual needs and desires. It is also important to note that people change, so what your partner desired five years ago may not be what excites him presently.
Also importantly, do not compare yourself or your partner with someone else. What works for one person may not work for another. Find what works for you and stick with it.
I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
Let’s meet tonight (Friday) in the chatroom. If you want to be a part of it, send me a message on Telegram at: @tiwa_says. The chatroom opens at 10pm every Friday.
Watch out for my YouTube channel.
#tiwa_says; 09161129108; tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.
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