The truth of the matter is that most women don’t like people who tell them the truth. They’ll rather live in a fool’s paradise!
Thus they won’t like what I’m going to say now.
As far as infidelity goes, men top the scale. Some people call it sowing their wild oats. Personally, I don’t understand such sowing of wild or tame oats. After you’re married, you should be able to discipline yourself into continually sowing your oats on your wife’s farm.
But nay, many of them, for myriad of reasons, keep poaching on another woman’s farm, planting and watering. And God help the legal wife if some of the sowing and watering yields fruits. Ha! Real kasala don burst!
Yes, bad business, I tell you! An average womanizer enjoys playing on the field, but definitely doesn’t like scoring. It’s even worse if the female player, now perversely decides that she wants to keep the dividends of the game.
Such development can lead to the cracking of the foundation of the man’s marriage. Most men don’t think before plunging into the sweetness of a woman’s thighs. They allow their balls to think for them. And when the problems start, they blame Mr. Devil.
Anyway, back to what I was saying. I don’t particularly champion infidelity, but you have to accept the fact that most married men cheat! Whether you believe it or not, it’s not going to change the fact that they cheat.
Even your husband could be cheating on you right now.
But the issue here is not about married men cheating. It’s about knowing or sensing it and handling it with maturity and wisdom.
You may ask what nonsense is she talking about. But I don’t think I’m talking nonsense. I’m talking about keeping and maintaining the home front.
There’s nothing like she married the wrong man or he married the wrong woman. The issue is to work on the marriage and make it work.
There’re so many desperate women out there; just waiting for you to storm out of your marriage, so that they can storm in and take over your matrimonial home.
When and if you discover he’s cheating on you, have a talk with him. Don’t start a war at home. Think of the kids, if nothing else.
The discussion could be at night. Sometimes, it could be a suspicion, but you know he naturally denies it. But if it’s an affair you know for a fact, then you definitely need to have that talk with him. Try to understand what is going on. Most times, these affairs mean nothing to them. Many of them see such affair as guys’ thing. A macho nonsense! Many of them fail to realize that it could tear the fabric of a marriage, trust apart. When they realize it, it’s sometimes too late to mend the broken fences.
I’ve always told people that God blessed women with a lot of shock absorbers. Perseverance and enduring spirits…then would be the time to draw from such spirits.
Most women know how to tackle and handle their husbands.
But whatever you do, I don’t think trailing him to a guest house, where he is meeting his supposed mistress, is the best solution. A good number of women are doing this and I think it’s so stupid!
There was a recent big fight at my area. Apparently, the wife trailed her husband to a guest house, where he had taken his mistress to ball.
It was during the fight, in front of the guest house, that it came out that the man told his wife that he was travelling out of town. The fictitious business trips that hundreds of ancient and modern husbands had always used and never get tired of using as excuse to meet their lovers.
How she knew he was at the guest house, nobody knew. But the woman came with all the kids. Stupid woman I tell you!
It was a show of shame! But again, such actions depend on the kind of man the husband is.
Most men won’t stand for such nonsense. Yes O!
There was a particular incident of such nature. This happened to my sister’s friend’s friend at Ago-Palace Way, Okota, Lagos State.
It was actually a neighbour who called this housewife on phone and gave her a vivid description of the guest house she saw her husband with another woman.
Without thinking twice, the wife jumped into her car and traced the guest house. Right there on the premises of the guest house, she sighted her husband’s car. But the man was nowhere in sight.
She went into the lobby, bought a drink and started sipping. She was sipping to kill time. I even heard she was heavily pregnant when this drama happened.
Barely an hour or two, her husband stepped out into the lobby, with a lady. Our pregnant sister flew into a rage, raining fire and brimstone. She attacked her husband and his mistress. But nobody touched her…her condition…
I heard the man did not utter a word.
He simply entered his car with his mistress and drove off. Our pregnant sister also drove home. But the man was not yet home. She was still fuming, waiting for him to come home for another round of insults.
Then he finally drove in. But he would not go into theatrics with her. He told her that the marriage was over. That he could no longer trust her since she had started going to guest houses to meet men. According to him, the woman blew into ‘a fake rage’ because she knew she had been found out.
In a blink of an eye, the tables turned. The woman’s parents were invited to come and take their daughter.
He told her family to ask her what she was doing at a guest house as a married woman. He told them that he used to provide her everything, including buying her a car of her choice, and he could not just understand what she was doing in a guest. What more could any other guy give her that he had not given, he asked.
He wanted her to explain to him and her family what she was doing there. He told them that he had just finished with a business client, when he stepped out and saw his wife, probably waiting for a guy. He said he was no longer sure that the pregnancy the woman was carrying belonged to him.
My dear, I heard it was a begging galore, with family members asking the wife what the heck she went to a house guest to do. Even when she tried to explain, they asked if the man was not providing and doing enough for her.
My candid advice is this: Even if you catch him red handed walking into the hotel with his mistress, pretend like you didn’t see him. It’s tough to do, but very possible. There’s no sense washing your dirty linens in public. There’s no couple that don’t have a marital problem. Don’t make yours an issue of discussion in your area.
Whatever is going on between you and your man should stay in your house. It’s pointless and senseless to trail him to hotels and guest houses. What you’ll discover will only break your heart and spoil your day.
It’s bad enough that your husband is cheating on you, but for you to trail him to a guest house and start a brawl there is advertising the fact. This is akin to compounding your shame and branding your husband. Can you bear the pitying looks people will starts throwing at you?
Infidelity is handled by women in different ways. It could destroy some women psychologically, damaging their self esteem, while it makes others to become stronger, determined to better themselves. And still others, it makes them to become embittered, with a vengeful quest to get even. Now that gives me the shivers. Getting even covers a lot of horrible and horrifying specters.
Even the person tattling to you, how happy is she or he in his/her marriage? How are you sure the little bird singing into your ears about your husband’s visits to house guests is not secretly jealous and envious of your marriage? How are you sure they don’t want to be in your position? To be pampered the way your husband pampers you?
No man is perfect, so make the best of your man and marriage.
I have also always told women that as long as he is providing for you and your kids…paying the bills, meeting up with his role as a husband and father, you don’t need to start giving him the heat or making life unbearable for him. Most times, such heat and nagging simply sends some of them straight into the waiting arms of some Jezebels!
You’d be shocked at the number of men who don’t even know how their wives and children survive, let alone to know how the wife gets money to pay rents and bills.
Please tell me, what qualifies such men as husbands?
This however does not mean that if you’ll know the truth or find out somehow, that you won’t ask him. If you don’t ask him, it will fester and poison you! It’s always better to register your anger, than allow it to corrode and destroy you.
I have also told several women that since you can’t follow him about or dodge his steps like a shadow, you need to encourage him to use condom. That he denies having a mistress doesn’t mean he doesn’t have one. Let him know that condom is to protect you, him and your marriage. What about if you contract STD or worse HIV/AIDS from him?
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