In this part of the world, marriage is not just between husband and wife. It brings two families together. And the blending of both families is expected. So when you get married in Africa, it is you, your spouse, God, and the entire family that is involved.
Families in Africa are not limited to only blood relatives. It also involves the community, religion, and sometimes political relatives.
So when we talk about in-laws in this part of this world, it is a large family. It goes beyond those that are blood relatives of your spouse.
The first thing a couple must do even before their wedding is to have open and honest communication on the expectations of each other’s families and the family traditions. A better understanding of what you are going into will adequately prepare you for it.
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For instance, imagine a scenario where a couple from different cultural backgrounds is getting married. Culturally, men are expected to be the primary breadwinners, while women are responsible for managing the household.
However, in modern marriages, both partners may work and share responsibilities equally or in ways that work for their household. Open communication about these differing expectations can help avoid conflicts and foster mutual understanding.
This communication is very important, especially if the union is cross-cultural, cross-religion, or cross-status in nature. The difference in the background and view of life might be very difficult to navigate through if one is not adequately informed and prepared ahead of the wedding.
You must be very opinionated and know that the difference in culture, religion, or status will raise some form of issues arising from trust. So, know that it is not the person but the culture. Therefore, don’t personalise issues. Be able to separate personality from issues and deal with the issues and not the person.
Until next Sunday.
JI.
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