I watched and listened.
He went on and on…oh how he was sick and tired of her bad cooking…said he was going to send her back to her parents’ home to learn how to cook…
He ranted and raved, apparently deranged with anger.
I couldn’t help wondering if his wife was lousy in bedroom as she was in kitchen.
I mean, if she can’t cook, there’s definitely something that she must have done to win her hubby’s heart and get him to put a wedding ring on her finger.
Yeah! She must be a good sport in bed! She probably used to give it to him left, centre and backward!
Made him dizzy with sexual pleasures and orgasm…I bet he wouldn’t give a fig that she’s a lousy cook whenever she was banging him!
No person would however blame a guy if he started screaming his head off like that. That his wife was a bad report in the kitchen, especially if she was a nightmare in bedroom!
A lot of guys would settle for her being good in bed. Why, so many guys can cook these days…what the heck is wrong with her being a bad cook?
Let her just continue to make him dizzy as she winds him up in bed…put his turgid candy bar into her warm mouth….suckle like her life depends on it….giggling with sheer delight and sexual power as she watches her man writhe in bed under the onslaught of sexual pleasures.
Sometimes in life, you can’t have it all. This however does not mean that she can’t come in complete package.
A good number do come in complete package. She can tear and attack her guy’s candy like a ferocious tigress, tantalizing him with the idea of dying of pleasure and is also a master chef in the kitchen.
Men with such women are lucky.
As we have men with different faces, so we have men with different, unique tastes, desires and wants.
Some think with their stomach, others with their balls.
Men who think with their stomach are often the type who fall prey to Calabar babes’ expertise in the kitchen.
Please if you’re a Calabar babe…guy…out there, don’t take this matter personal.
Every fool knows that Calabar babes are damn good cooks!
Woe betides any guy who has a wife, who is a terrible cook, then goes to taste a Calabar babe’s food.
Ah! He’s a goner!
The point here is that you shouldn’t deride your wife in the presence of others because you suddenly now find everything faulty about her.
There must have been something special, unique that attracted you to her. If not the kitchen skills, then it’s probably the sex or something…
If you didn’t complain about her cooking when you guys were dating, why complain and make caricature of her now?
If your wife can’t cook, then look for something wonderful about her and continue to love her. A person can’t be completely bad in all aspect of her life and character.
Sometimes, we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it. Some wives are tyrants at home and are known for nagging their husbands to death. Men with such wives dread going home after office hours. Such wives push their husbands into the arms of another woman.
Some end up helping their husbands to get a BP problem. If yours is just lousy in bed or bad in kitchen, there’s always a way out.
If she’s lousy in bed and you feel you’re the expert there, then teach her. Sex is enjoyable to all and should be of equal enjoyment even during the teaching and learning process.
I have also come to realise that when it comes to sex, we learn every day. One must and shouldn’t get tired of seeking new innovation in pleasuring his/her sex partner.
A male friend of mine complained that anytime it was closing hour at the office and he remembers his wife, he fears going home.
According to him, there was no day he didn’t get home to get a report about her from somebody. Sometimes it would be she who would report somebody, who offended or fought her. Sometimes he would get home, before entering his home, he would be on his way to the police station to bail his wife, who had fought someone.
And most times, when he tries to chastise her, she ends up fighting him.
He was worried she would send him to an early grave. He also thought things would be better if they move out of the public building they lived and into a personal place.
Once he romanced with the idea, it took root and germinated.
He struggled and bought a land at Ikorodu. He soon completed the building and became a landlord.
They moved, but did she stop her troubles? Nay.
He said he was shocked one day when he returned from work and discovered that she fought with someone living in the building opposite their own. He told me that he didn’t even know that she used to leave their home and walk over to the opposite building to gossip until the fateful fight that broke out.
He said he was tired of quarrels, complaints, police stations and many other things.
He always ends his litany of woes, thus: “She’s my wife, mother of four kids, there’s nothing I can do.”
You that complained that your wife is bad in kitchen, would you like to make an exchange with this guy?
What about wives that have hot pants?
Women who, no matter how much their husbands’ treated them like queens, buying them the moon, would still be found straining and meeting thrust for thrust under the lustful, sweaty bodies of other guys.
Do you want me to go on?
Let’s also not forget that as wives come with their faults, so also husbands. Some husbands are terrible in bed. Even teenage boys are better in bedmantic than they are. They can’t make a woman wet, let alone to come, no matter how hard they try!
The truth of the matter is that we can’t have it all. And if we do, we should give glory to God and if we don’t, we should make the best out of the situation and life.
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