While on vacation recently, I saw an elderly couple walking along and holding hands at the park. After a couple of minutes, they both stopped and the woman brought out what looked like sweets from her purse. She put one in her partner’s mouth and they kissed. She also put one in her mouth before they continued on their walk.

That was so refreshing to watch. It made my day. It was great to see that they still shared a special bond and were not afraid to show affection to each other, even at that age and in public. This is something that greatly lacking in most relationships I see these days: Couples holding back and not being expressive.

Couples who are not willing to be vulnerable with each other. It is sad really. What is the point of being in a relationship with someone when you are not willing to be emotionally and physically available? It is the cause of most conflicts in relationships.

I’m an advocate for physical touch and affection and I’m not afraid or shy to practise it. I believe it builds bonds in relationships. This brings me to the topic of physical touch/affection and its importance in relationships.

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So what is physical touch?
It refers to expressing and receiving affection through touch, physical closeness and other forms of physical connection. Touch plays a crucial role in maintaining connection within interpersonal relationships. Touch is essential because of the ways it communicates emotions to others and because it stimulates the production of oxytocin, sometimes known as the love hormone.

Studies have shown that couples who touch each other are usually happier together. From back rubs to gentle caresses to hand-holding to hugging. The study also showed that the more intimate contact couples have with one another, the more satisfied they tend to be with their relationships.

Touch is a non-verbal action that expresses devotion. It is an expression of love, care and warmth. It can come in the form of a hug or holding hands or kisses. Touch is a powerful tool for those who want to establish closeness. It’s a universal language that exists in every culture and understood by everyone.

Of course, sexual touch is important too, but non-sexual physical contact appears to have unique benefits.

Physical touch promotes connection and relaxation, while also building intimacy. Recent research also showed that simply encouraging more touch is sometimes enough to solve a couple’s sexual problems.

This doesn’t necessarily work in all cases though because sexual problems can have wildly different causes. And also because different people may want and desire different amounts of touch from their partners. For example, some people may find that it is hard to ever get enough touch, whereas others may desire less touch than they’re currently receiving.

Everyone has an attachment style that reflects the way they tend to approach and think about relationships. Our attachment patterns are shaped early in life through interactions with our parents or caregivers during infancy and childhood.

These experiences form the building blocks for our attachment patterns in adulthood and they spill over into the way we navigate our romantic lives. For example, people who developed anxious patterns early on often find themselves concerned about being abandoned by their partners. Whereas, those who developed more avoidant patterns tend to find themselves uncomfortable with too much intimacy.

According to research, the amount of touch received and shared during the first five years of marriage is a strong predictor of overall happiness and attachment in the long run. We all know that physical contact and touch can make a difference in a relationship, but it’s not always easy to put it into practice. Most people assume that our better half needs to initiate the act of touch, which is a misconception. And an important one.

Here are some benefits of physical touch:

• It’s a form of relaxation
• It helps you feel good about yourself
• It boosts self-esteem
• It makes you more comfortable around others
• It increases your ability to read others’ emotions
• It improves your relationship with your spouse
• It can make you healthier
• It’s great for stress relief
• It reduces loneliness and depression
• It enhances communication skills.

Receiving enough contact between partners reduces anxiety, forms a greater attachment, and builds a stronger, healthier bond. Couples who receive attentiveness and sexual touch develop an increase in their overall health, happiness and longevity. It has been proven that it can increase your life expectancy by three years.

Having established this, here are the negative effects of not making physical touch a priority in a relationship:

One of the main reasons why relationships or marriages fail is that they don’t show tenderness to their other half. They’re too preoccupied with other obligations and are unwilling to give their spouse the time and attention they deserve. This can lead both persons to communicate less, lose interest and become less happy with themselves and the relationship.

We all know that stress, fear and anxiety can be incredibly destructive in a relationship and the negative effect they have on an individual can be devastating. Touch however is the most intimate and emotional way we connect with another person. By neglecting it, we increase stress in our lives.

Finally, it is important to know that touch is a fundamental human need. We all need human contact. It is vital for our well-being and happiness. And relationships are no exception.

The benefits of physical touch are undeniable. Kissing and hugging can improve mood, emotional and sexual intimacy, lower stress levels, decrease blood pressure, improve sleep and keeps the therapist away.

Couples who connect through touching enjoy longer and deeper relationships and those who have been through a divorce are more likely to break up again than couples who maintain real and emotional touch in their relationship.

However, touching isn’t always easy. We often find ourselves so consumed with our own needs and desires that we forget to take the time to nurture ourselves or to care for others. But when we take the time to express ourselves physically, it creates an environment in which we are more open to receiving love. By expressing our fondness for each other, we create a connection that allows us to build deeper, more meaningful relationships.

I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.

Let’s meet tonight (Friday) in the chatroom. If you want to be a part of it, send me a message on Telegram at: @tiwa_says. Chatroom opens at 10pm every Friday.

Watch out for my YouTube channel.

tiwa_says; 09032331388; tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.