Let me start by saying that it is perfectly normal to fantasise about other people even when you are in a happy and healthy relationship.
Having these feelings doesn’t always mean that you want to act on these urges, it’s just a normal human reaction.
For some people though, acting on these urges is a craving they would love to satisfy.
In our society where people are openly monogamous but secretly non-monogamous, this is a topic that is spoken about in hushed tones. Nevertheless, it is a practice that is gaining ground in today’s world.
An open relationship is such that allows partners in a relationship to have sexual and emotional intimacy with other people outside of the primary relationship. It is especially for couples who want to explore their sexuality while still holding on to each other. And also for those who feel they can’t be bound to just one sexual partner.
People in open relationships have an agreement that having sex or emotional relationships with other people is ok, so it is not considered cheating.
Relationship models of this kind are on the increase these days. People are warming up to the idea that it is ok to have sex with more than one person because let’s face it, forever is a long time.
It can be challenging to discuss an open relationship with your partner. Religious or family beliefs may make acceptance difficult.
Still, if you are interested, you need to have a conversation with your partner to find out if it is something that is workable and what is suitable for you both.
Here are a few tips to consider:
1. You both have to be interested in the idea. It cannot be a one-sided arrangement, so one partner won’t feel cheated and left out in the relationship. The two people in the partnership must agree on an open relationship for it to be beneficial to both parties.
- For this to thrive, the relationship has to have a foundation of trust and honesty. Being as honest as possible about your feelings and expectations will help strengthen the relationship. Without this, an open relationship can be problematic and even cause a rift between partners, especially where there are already existing problems in the relationship.
- The communication has to be ongoing and consistent. You need to discuss what you’re looking to get out of the new relationship dynamic. Boundaries and rules should be discussed and set.
It is important to note that open relationships aren’t for everyone. Not everyone has the emotional stability and capacity it requires. This makes it neither good nor bad.
Here are some signs that an open relationship is not for you:
i. One or both partners become jealous or uncomfortable.
ii. One partner is not on board with the arrangement.
iii. The marriage or partnership is strained and no longer happy.
iv. One partner becomes dishonest or secretive.
v. Boundaries are crossed. Where one or both partners cannot respect the boundaries set.
Most people go into open relationships because they think it’s going to bring them more pleasure, joy, love, satisfaction, orgasms, excitement or a combination of these things.
Everyone has a right to their pleasure and to do whatever makes them feel good as long as it brings no harm to another. Find what works for you and enjoy it.
Feel free to contact me about ideas for fun.
Our next Game Night is on Friday, April 15, 2022. Tickets are available now. The last one was a lot of fun.
#tiwa_says; tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com; 09032331388.