This is the holiday season and it is a time for families to spend time together and bond, especially couples, but unfortunately some people are dreading this. I recently attended our yearly estate party, where I had fun and met some neighbours I had not seen in a while because of “Lagos hustle” and other commitments.
I was particularly happy to see a couple who got married this year. I had counselled them a few times even before they wedded so I was really invested in them. The wife sat with me while the husband went to be with the “guys”. I asked how she was enjoying married life, expecting to see the sparkle in her eyes as she spoke, but that was not the case.
She said their sex life was almost non-existent because they both had full time jobs and come home late at night, too tired to do anything but sleep. Only for a few hours. And the cycle repeats itself, leaving now time for bonding or romance.
I explained to her that as much as I understand their predicament, they need to find a way round it so as not to lose themselves in the process of making a living. I told her that sleep deprivation is a big contributor to a lack of sex drive. When the body is not relaxed, it can’t function well.
I asked her if they had talked about it and she said no. My first advice to her was for them to have a conversation about this. I know they both have a lot to say, but they are not speaking and this will cause resentment to build between them. I also suggested that since it’s the holiday period, they should prioritise sleep over outings, spend time together bonding and rebuilding the romance in their relationship.
Interestingly this is not a peculiar case. A lot of couples are in this dilemma. It is one of the major causes of extramarital affairs in the work place. Since you’re spending more time at work than at home, it is only natural that you gravitate towards someone at the workplace. And if you are not careful, emotions start to grow and one thing leads to another. This can be very tricky if you are a married person.
Sleep is often overlooked as a crucial component of overall health. Yet its impact extends to virtually every aspect of our physical and mental well-being, which directly influences sexual function, desire, and satisfaction.
Let’s look into the physiological connection between sleep and sexual health
Hormonal Balance: Sleep is fundamental to the regulation of hormonal levels, including sex hormones such as testosterone and estrogen. Testosterone, which is critical for libido in both men and women, is predominantly produced during sleep. Studies have shown that athletes and men with sleep disorders often experience lower testosterone levels, which can lead to decreased sexual desire and performance. Similarly, estrogen, important for women’s sexual health, also follows a circadian rhythm influenced by sleep. Inadequate sleep can disrupt these hormonal rhythms, leading to imbalances that may diminish sexual interest and function.
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Energy Levels and Physical Health: Quality sleep directly impacts energy levels, affecting endurance and strength. Sexual intimacy often requires physical stamina, and fatigue can hinder desire and performance. Chronic sleep deprivation can lead to sluggishness, making partners less inclined to engage in sexual activity. Furthermore, high-quality sleep is associated with better cardiovascular health, improved metabolism, and enhanced immune function – all integral to a vibrant sex life.
Blood Flow and Arousal: Adequate sleep promotes healthy circulation, which is essential for sexual arousal and function. Poor sleep can lead to vascular issues, affecting erectile function in men and arousal in women. Sleep disorders like obstructive sleep apnea have been linked to erectile dysfunction and lower sexual satisfaction, highlighting the interconnectedness of sleep and sexual health.
Neurotransmitters and Sexual Desire: Sleep significantly influences neurotransmitter systems that regulate mood and arousal, including dopamine and serotonin. Dopamine, a key player in the brain’s reward system, is critical for sexual desire and arousal. Poor sleep can lower dopamine levels, impairing sexual motivation. Conversely, serotonin, often referred to as the “feel good” neurotransmitter, can enhance mood and overall satisfaction.
Erectile Function: For men, sleep disorders can significantly impact erectile function. The body undergoes critical repair and hormonal adjustments during deep sleep, including the nocturnal release of testosterone. A study found that men with sleep apnea – a condition that disrupts sleep—were more likely to experience erectile dysfunction. Treating sleep disorders not only improves overall health but may also restore erectile functioning.
Pelvic Health: For women, quality sleep is linked to better pelvic health. Sleep deprivation can lead to increased pain sensitivity and lower levels of arousal, potentially diminishing sexual performance and pleasure. Conversely, a well-rested body tends to have better muscle tone and blood circulation, which are vital for sexual arousal and experience.
Immune Function: Adequate sleep strengthens the immune system, reducing the likelihood of illness that can impair sexual activity. A healthy immune response supports overall vitality, energy levels, and mood – factors essential for a satisfying sexual life.
Mood and Sexual Desire: Sleep has a profound effect on mood regulation. Lack of sleep can lead to irritability, anxiety, and depression, all of which can diminish sexual desire. A recent study published in the highlighted that individuals who had better sleep patterns reportedly had a more satisfying sex life than those who had an inconsistent pattern of sleep
In conclusion, rest or sleep is very important for total well-being, which includes sexual well-being. Prioritise your rest period. It may be the only aphrodisiac you need to have an amazing sex life.
I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
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