Women are terrible creatures. Some of them don’t have a bone of patience in them.
They’re all grasping and greedy. They want life to be all sunshine and never a hurricane.
But life, marriage is not something to romanticise, but a hard ball of reality, which can knock you out if you’re not strong enough.
But hey, as men, we don’t want them and yet, we can’t do without them.
Many of them fail to realize that marriage is never a bed of roses.
You don’t go into marriage, wearing rose-coloured spectacles. You’ll either crash out of the marriage or your spectacles will break!
Being strong enough is not about bearing punches and insults from your husband. It’s not about stomaching abuses and being emasculated by your wife. It’s learning and redefining the true meaning of tolerance and patience.
Sometimes, I wonder why women don’t take lessons from vultures before they embark on a relationship or marriage. The vulture is a patience bird. No matter how hungry the vulture is, it will always wait for its prey. If a person is about to die, the vulture will wait for death to come before it eats the corpse. If the animal the vulture wants to eat has a thick skin, the vulture will wait for a bigger animal to come and tear the hide off the animal, before it flies down and falls on it.
In a nutshell, the vulture is a patient bird. It waits, knowing the best will soon come.
To get married is not difficult, but to stay and remain married is one hell of a toughie! I know what I’m saying. I’ve been there and I’m probably still there, depending on how you look at it.
You guys are probably wondering what I’m rabbling about.
I’m rabbling and angry about an incident. It has to do with a couple I know.
How can a couple, who so much proclaim love for each other, suddenly become sworn enemies just because the husband lost his job?
I can’t fathom it.
I will tell you the story. It’s the story of…nope…let’s not use real names. Let’s call her Julie. The story is about Julie.
I have not heard from her, but this is just the plain gist, not the meaty aspect of the gist.
Julie’s husband was a banker, but not in Lagos.
He tries as much as possible to visit his lovely wife and three kids on most weekends. Julie is a civil servant and has a nice car.
No, the husband doesn’t have a car.
Before, every statement and sentence end with ‘my husband said that…my husband said this…”
Whenever the guy was around, the whole family will troop into their little car and off to church they go.
One hell of a happy family….
Then the guy lost his job. It was due to this constant downsizing in banks.
And the happy family crumbles like a pack of cards!
Julie insisted that her husband should go and look for job…any job, no matter how menial, rather than stay at home.
But the husband said she should exercise patience because he was seriously searching and wouldn’t want to settle for just any job. It hadn’t even been up to three months that he lost his job. Why was she nagging like it’s three years?
He asked Julie why she couldn’t just take care of him and stomach the present discomfort just for while?
He reminded her that he used to send her monthly allowance of N80,000, while some husbands’ give their wives just N5,000, when the going was good and smooth. He reminded her that aside from the money he sends her every month, even though she was working, he pays all the bills in the home, including money that had to do with his kids.
And before you could say Jack Robison, the situation degenerated from bickering to wrestling match in the home, while the children and house help watch.
It was a hot battle, with Julie saying she only married him because she was aging and that he was not in her class.
The husband yelled back that he was ready to accept her insults but not her sleeping outside the home for three days only to swagger home like she was not a married woman.
The issue was so bad that they shared their three bedrooms…Julie took two rooms with her kids, while her husband manages one of the rooms.
They also started sharing cooking utensils. Julie took over the cooking gas and cylinder, while her husband manages the kerosene stove.
The other day, her husband was walking by the road, on the street, when Julie came driving past. She saw her husband and made sure to splash him with water from puddle gathered after a rainfall.
She had done that twice to the poor guy and street people are beginning to talk and knew that things were no longer lovey-dovey with the couple.
It was even more obvious that something was wrong judging by the frequent sight of the guy going to buy a loaf of bread or a tuber of yam.
These days, Julie bundles her kids into her car and drives off to church, while her husband walks alone, forlorn to church every Sunday. Julie’s behaviour is even more baffling because I heard she’s a worker in the church.
The last I heard, Julie has gotten an apartment somewhere in Victoria Island and has started fixing the place and will soon move out of her matrimonial home.
My dear folks…are you sensing what I’m sensing? Do you think there’s a guy somewhere? Egging Julie on and waiting at the wing to come in?
If she has such a whooping amount to rent a flat in VI, why can’t she spend it on her man and their marriage? Is the marriage not worth fighting for? What about the kids? Don’t they deserved to have their parents together? Bringing a child up alone as a woman is not easy, let alone bringing three kids up alone.
Oh Julie, I hope it’s not a guy or you’ll regret. Don’t you know yet that most men, who enjoy chopping married women, are deceivers? They never have good plans….
ebere20@gmail.com, SMS: 08038465069.
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