Mama Dip was a full-time housewife (by her own description, ‘having nothing to do’) until a fateful Sunday morning when she was confronted by reality.
The truth made her decide to cast off the cloak of idleness and engage her hands in what she thinks she could do best. A typical housewife, she had no means of receiving income. But, according to her, when necessity required that she find a means to support herself and her children, she knew she had to do something.
She knew she can cook very well. And to this gift she turned, using an amount left in her purse (about N3,000 in today’s value) to start food vending. After the first day, she had a profit of about N150. That was how her restaurant was born way back when cost of living could be described as under control. What began as a small ‘buka’ in 1976 has grown to be regarded as an institution today. In the course of doing her business, she was nicknamed “Mama Dip” by her brothers and sisters and the nickname stuck throughout her life. She opened Mama Dip’s Country Kitchen.
Work should help in discovery of life; and assist us to have satisfying and rewarding existence. As a wife and working mother, looking for what to do or trying to change a job is more than just looking for anything. Being a very successful career lady, a wife and a mother (all in one) is about looking at your life and your purpose, and deciding how best to live without regret.
Now, women often find themselves being torn between work and home demands. Some often embrace one at the expense of the other – depending where their interests lie. A woman who gives much attention to her career at the expense of her home cannot be regarded as successful. So also a woman who wakes up having nothing more to do beside tendering the home needs to do better than that in this contemporary time. It is possible to have both home and career together and be happy. Having a good career should not be at the expense of the home; therefore there is need for good planning. We shall surely look at some tips that can help women, wives and mothers of children, have good careers and better homes.
The socio-economic challenges we face on daily basis should subject conventional wisdom to critical analysis. It will be sheer stupidity if I want to live today the way my grandfather lived in his own time. Therefore, working mothers need to make the most of the challenges (especially those that comes from work), choices and opportunities that exist. Inability to achieve this may be due to lack of proper planning.
How can a woman who wants to be a successful wife, a mother and upwardly-mobile career lady balance her activities? The following tips may prove useful:
- Explore your options. Examine your life and your skills. Sort what you don’t enjoy doing from the ones that you enjoy doing. Use this exercise as a springboard to identify careers that may be appropriate for you.
- How much time and energy do you want to give to each of your necessary and important activities daily?
- Prioritize your life issues by assessing all your roles as a wife and a mother and the impact they have on you. Career planning is not done to make a work choice but to help you decide how you want to live your life and find work that will help you do that.
- Don’t ask: “What jobs exist that I can do?” Rather ask: “What jobs exist that will fit my needs?” What are your values, needs, barriers? What are those things that slow you down, and what are your motivators? Answering these questions will go a long way in helping you choose a fulfilling career instead of just falling into a job or taking what someone else gives you, without proper consideration for what you really want.
- Acquire knowledge and skills that will help you better market yourself and product successfully – both cultural and social wise.
- Understand your domestic responsibilities, accountabilities, and complexities associated with your role as a woman.
- Enhance your ability and confidence to manage your career by taking lectures, attending training, workshops, and seminars to expose yourself to good knowledge.
Avoid the mistakes of trying to prove that you know it all and nothing else anybody can teach you. Therefore, you need to sit down to gain new knowledge and intelligence again and again.
Some men never see women as colleagues and human beings with a life to live but just another tool – a resource – to be used to get their own satisfaction, nothing more than that! They relate and treat their women just like they treat the few naira notes in their pockets. This is very wrong. If a woman’s mind and hand is good enough to take care of home and tender children, then such a mind and hand is also good to create wealth through quality economic activity. That’s what makes a woman truly virtuous.
Ola Emmanuel is a business planning and cooperative consultant