The key to any great relationship is to realise that no two are alike. The woman in your life is unique and deserves to be treated as such. You may not be able to read her mind, but the real secret is you don’t have to. Knowing what she wants may be as simple as asking. Here are some general ideas that can help in most situations:
Communicate:
Really listen to her. Don’t semi-listen while watching the big game. Turn it off, look at her and pay attention.
Share things about your day. When she asks how your day was, don’t just say the common “fine.” Open up and share details.
Let her know how you feel. She can often tell if you’ve had a bad day. Don’t be so afraid of seeming unmanly that you can’t open up about your feelings.
Tell her you love her (or like her if you aren’t there yet); most women like to hear that they are appreciated.
Talk about everything. Sometimes just talking about random things opens up new areas of dialogue previously unexplored. You may be surprised what you learn.
Make it personal:
Grow your relationship. Understand that you are two individuals who need to learn about each other. (The five previous suggestions may also help in this area.)
Gift accordingly. While a movie or a CD makes a good gift, the soundtrack she loved from that movie you watched on your first date makes a better one. Listen to her and gift accordingly.
Do the chores she hates. If the dishes make her cringe, do them for her. If she just can’t stand cleaning out the gutters, grab the ladder and get to work.
Allow her some girl time. As much as she loves spending time with you, she needs some time to herself or with her girlfriends. This will also allow you the same opportunity.
Learn her love language. Does she want you to show it or say it? Does a massage or a new scarf scream “I love you?” Find out.
Family:
Love her kids. If you have (or she has) kids, love them. She wants her kids to be happy more than just about anything else. Make them happy, and she’ll be happy too.
Family comes first. Make her and your family your priority. Work is important, but if you aren’t happy at home, she likely isn’t either.
Her family is your family. You really do marry the whole family. The good, the bad and the ugly. Enjoy their quirks and take part in the fun.
Eat dinner together often. A pre-set time each night to be together encourages conversation. Dinner is an easy way to set that time, and people are more talkative over food.
Have a family night. Taking time for your family will bring you all closer together, including the two of you as a couple. Play games, watch a movie or make dinner. It doesn’t matter what you do so long as it’s together.
Activities:
Keep dating. Whether you just met or have been married for decades, continually courting the love of your life will say a lot about your commitment to her and the relationship.
Try something new together. This is a great way to learn more about each other and maybe pick up a new pastime. It can be pottery, skiing, cooking, running, martial arts — anything you do together.
Teach her something you love. Sharing what interests you shows that you care about her enough to include her in things you love. Just remember that she may not love it as much as you do.
Encourage her in her hobbies: hobbies are a great expression of a person’s individuality. Encouraging her to express herself shows you love her for who she is.
Daily life:
Do things without being asked. Make the bed, cook dinner, wash her car – whatever – just don’t wait to be asked.
Small gestures. Sometimes it is the little things that make a big difference. One rose twelve times may be better than a dozen roses once.
Find time to spend together every day. Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but consistent contact keeps couples together. Even a phone call counts, if that is all you can get in.
Be spontaneous. Not every moment of every day needs to be planned. Come home for lunch unexpectedly or show up to her work with a picnic. Keep it fresh.
Hold her. Close physical contact without the expectation of intimacy can help her feel safe and secure in the relationship.