She came, she saw and she contributed her quotas in building a better society for all. Though she might not have won accolades from the international communities, her conviction in life was: Live and let others live. Thus, her recurrent statement was: if you dare to do good, you must dare to do it right. This is one abiding lesson I got from my Sweet Mother.
The birth of my mother in 1932 added up to the increasing population of the Yoruba race which was put at 3,166,164 by the 1931 Census conducted by the then British colonial government.
According to the 1932 Annual Report on the Social and Economic Progress of the People of Nigeria No. 1625, the 1931 Census identified ten main tribes or tribal groups in Nigeria and put their total population thus: Hausa (3,604,016); Ibo (3,172,789); Yoruba (3,166,164); Fulani (2,025,189); Kanuri or Ben-Ben (930,917); Ibibio (749,646); Munshi or Tiv (573,605); Edo (507,810); Nupe (326,017); and Ijaw (166,324).
The family house of late Mr. Gbadamosi and Sariyu Olawunmi, parents of my mother, located in the pristine village of Olose in Ifo area of Ogun State was thrown into celebration on March 13, 1932 shortly after my mother’s birth. Members of the community thronged in one after the other to congratulate and celebrate with the Olawunmis.
On the eighth day, the naming ceremony of my mother was performed according to the Islamic rites and the parents called the newly born – Simibiatu Amoke Olawunmi.
My mother started her childhood life in Olose Village with her focus on greater days ahead. In one of our several interactions, my mother told me of her childhood experience.
“I grew up in Olose area of Ifo. Olose then was a small village including Ifo. As a child and like other children of that era, we desired to go to school but the obvious reality was always the determination to do business and become successful in life. There were many of such trading activities you could get yourself involved,” she once told me.
Any time I attempted to probe my mother on the issue of education, she usually responded with this joke: “It’s not that I did not desire to go to school. Of course, one day, I made up my mind to go to school. I dressed up in one of my best attires. I was so happy and excited at least to go to school and experience school life. When I got to the school gate, I was told that the school head teacher’s mother had just died and the school would be closed for the day. I went back to the house disappointingly. The next day, I told my parents that I wanted to give it a trial again. So, I went. On getting to the school, the gate was still locked and I asked what the problem was? I was told that the head teacher was preparing to bury his mother. On the third day, I woke up with the desire to still go to school and when I got to the school gate I was turned back for the umpteenth time that the head teacher was doing his mother’s burial ceremony.”
We laughed over the matter but my curiosity often forced me ask the next question: “but Mama you should have tried another school now or was that the only school around you that time?”
My question usually amused my mother and after a while she would jokingly reply me: “so you want me to be hearing the same ugly news of the head teacher’s mother’s death and all that everyday.” This, of course, normally led to another round of hilarious session and my mother would promise to continue the rest of the story some other day.
Whenever I raised the matter in the last 17 years, my mother would only laugh and laugh and pat me at the back or my head, saying the matter should be postponed to another day. Unfortunately, she died without telling me the full gist of that episode.
Soon after the World War II came to an end, my mother told me that her parents relocated to Abeokuta around 1948, but she chose to stay in Ifo with her father’s brother, late Mr. Tiamiyu Olawunmi. With the blessings of her parents, she continued her stay with the late Mr. Tiamiyu.
My mother explained to me that her father hailed from Agbole Soke, saying her father’s mother actually came from Ile Alafin in Owu, Abeokuta. I did not know her father as the man died in 1974. She also told me that her mother was from Agbole Olusomi also in Owu, Abeokuta. My grand-mother was a very pleasant woman. I got to know her in 1985 when I was in Primary 5 at St. David’s Primary School, Ibogun Sowunmi Village. She had come to check on my mother on her way back from Eredo in Ado-Ota Local Government area of Ogun State.
She spoke to me in a very soft voice and I got to know her name as Iya Alata. I didn’t understand the import of this name until I had the opportunity to visit her in Abeokuta in 1987 shortly after I was admitted to Ibogun Comprehensive High School, Ibogun Egbeda.
“Iya Alata” became the permanent name given to my grand-mother because of her preoccupation with buying and selling of pepper. After this visit, I had opportunity to meet with her again about four times until her demise on March 7, 1988.
When I asked my mother why did she choose to stay back in Ifo, she said: “I was used to the environment and I felt comfortable living in Ifo.”
But I remembered teasing her thus: “you didn’t go to Abeokuta with your parents because you’re already in a relationship as at that time and you did not want to lose your ‘man?’ My mother in a chortling mood looked at me and responded: “Maybe you’re right,” and we burst into laughter.
My mother told me that she used to help her father’s brother’s wife popularly called Iya Rafiu to hawk pap (ogi) around the neighbourhood. “At some point in my life in Olose, I became passionate about trading and before you knew it I was already imagining myself as a big trader,” she said.
True to my earlier premonitions, my mother explained to me that she got married to Mr. Solomon Akintobi in no time in Ifo in 1951. Here she started another life and was also exposed to another trade entirely.
According to her, “My sister-in-law popularly called Iya Olobi was into buying and selling of kolanut. Within a short period of time, I fell in love with the business and I was taught the rudiments of the business. This business took me far and wide to Lagos and some northern parts of Nigeria. We also went from one village to another to buy kolanuts.”
Kolanuts from time immemorial is an essential article of trade in almost every part of Nigeria and beyond. Even the British colonial government attested to the fact that kolanuts is “one of considerable local importance in West Africa,” noting that “the nuts are borne on a tree, roughly comparable to a cocoa tree, and are chewed all over West Africa as a luxury.”
From this cash crop, my mother told me she had the exposure and made some money. But her marriage to Mr. Akintobi was short-lived. My mother told me that she went back to her father’s brother’s house in Olose two years after but continued buying and selling of the kolanuts, although, in a small quantity.
My mother told me that she met my father, late Chief Amos Sowunmi in the course of her business trips to surrounding villages in Ifo around 1953. They later got married in early 1954. Shortly after her marriage, she was baptised on December 10, 1954 at St. David’s Anglican Church, Ibogun Sowunmi Village. And she’s christened Janet. She later did her Confirmation in line with Anglican Communion on September 24, 1983. This was done for her by Bishop T. I. Akintayo at All Saint’s Church, Itori in present Ewekoro Local Government area of Ogun State.
The ‘meeting point’ between my father and mother was a major point of discussion between my mother and I. Whenever I wanted to make my mother laugh, I would ask her: “Mama how did Baba woo you into a relationship? Was he a fantastic ‘toaster’? My mother’s first respond was usually to glee and then she would query: why did you ask? And I would respond only by laughing.
To my mother, my father was a very good speaker and good-looking man that could easily woo ladies into relationship, but I usually interjected: “Mama, you meant you had to endure pressures for getting married to a handsome man?” My mother would burst into laughter and remarked: “I was more beautiful than your father that time. In fact, he was always afraid never to lose me.”
For a very long period of time, before the demise of my father in 1995, I used to call my father’s attention to my mother’s declarations and the duo would exchange banters on the matter for some minutes. Usually, I stayed by the side of whoever was having upper hand. Of course, my mother won on several occasions. The next thing I would tell two of them was to get prepared thoroughly for another round of contest.
After the demise of my father, my mother and I often discussed this matter in fond memories of my father. But today, the duo had gone to the world beyond, leaving me behind only with those memories. I would surely miss you, my dear parents.
From the business of kolanut, my mother explained to me that she moved on to become food vendor shortly after she settled down in her marital home in Ibogun Sowunmi Village. She had flair for culinary activities. I still have a nostalgic remembrance of some of her wonderful delicious dishes. My father would most of the time return home only to ask for his food no matter how late in the day.
My mother shocked me to my bone marrow when I was growing up. At every single moment, she regularly drummed it into my hearing that “Idowu, you must remain determined to be well educated. You must read your book and be the best in life.”
At first I could not fathom her passion for education considering the fact that she did not have formal education. On November 18, 1993, as a fresh graduate of Ibogun Comprehensive High School and a birthday boy, I chose to unlock the “mystery” behind my mother’s strong belief in formal education. My desire was to get a birthday gift that would make me happier in order to put behind the uncomfortable news of military take-over. Late General Sani Abacha had previous day took over the reign of government in Nigeria as the Head of State in what I later got to know as a palace coup.
Shortly after I returned from Ifo where I had gone to buy Punch and Concord newspapers for my delight, I summoned the courage to ask my mother: what informed your decision to encourage me to read?
My mother’s first response was teardrops. Her eyes were filled with tears. It then dawned on me that the very matter she often cracked jokes about was actually a painful issue in her heart. I begged her to forgive me for asking the question. But in an emotion-laden voice she replied: “there was nothing wrong with your question my dear son but…” She started crying again.
At this point, her cry became infectious and I joined in the exercise. I fought hard within myself not to betray my feelings but to no avail. I decided never to discuss the matter again with her. As if she was reading my mind, my mother cuddled me and kissed me on my forehead. Then came one of the most memorable prayer sessions I ever had with my mother. I got worried at some point but the diction and efficacy of her prayer pointss could not be resisted.
This was one emotional moment I ever had with my mother. It’s a memorable incident that often reverberates most times in my faculty of thinking even till date. The closest of this incident was when my mother was admitted into Lagos State Teaching Hospital in Ikeja, Lagos, where I saw my once strong, able and agile mother lying helplessly on her sick bed! She was only able to say to me that “it’s well with you” when I engaged her in a discussion.
The simple message of the November 18, 1993 incident was never to disappoint my mother and myself.
My uneducated but education-conscious mother became my source of inspiration, urging me on even in the face of financial difficulties. Some few months after my secondary school education, my mother got worried why I had not got admission into higher institution of learning. I told her I was working on that. But she was never convinced with my statement. She asked me to show her proofs. Proofs? I was amazed with her dexterity. Caught unawares, I explained to her that I wrote JAMB (polytechnic and college of education) in August, 1993 and I was expecting results.
The next utterances by my mother were: “I had told you to write university JAMB to get ‘iwe giga’ (higher education). You’re not taking your education serious. Don’t you know you’re wasting too much of time staying at home.” The statements got me thinking.
Some days later the results of the poly JAMB were released. I had a very good score and I was given admission to Tai Solarin College of Education in Ijebu-Ode to read English Language/Christian Religious Studies in 1995.
Initially, I was not confident enough to break the news to my mother for her desire was for me to go to university. But there was no way I could hide the matter any longer. So, I informed my mother and she burst into celebration, offering praises to Almighty God for answered prayers. My mother’s action to me was a mixed bag. I couldn’t immediately decipher why my mother suddenly changed her mind to welcome my admission into a college of education, for her utterances over the time had motivated me to be thinking of “iwe giga.” She prayed for me and counselled me to be well-behaved.
She was actively involved in my education career. Her recurrent statement on education was: “you must read your book if you want to become a great leader because education remains one of the veritable master-keys to unlock your potentials and rediscover yourself.”
Whenever I visited home as a student of Tai Solarin College of Education, my mother would ask me almost everything about my academic endeavours. Her questions were usually real and they could unbalance you if one was not a serious student. Even when I answered her, my mother would still want to know more. After her intensive interrogation using native intelligence, she would offer me prayers.
Shortly after I complete my education at Tai Solarin College of Education in 1997, I came home to inform my mother. She was very happy. Her first statement was: “thank God, in my lifetime, the impossibility had been made possible, God is great.”
As the celebration continued, my mother interrupted the merriment and asked me: “so what’s your next step?” I was uncomfortable with the question. I did not know what to say. But I summoned the courage to say I was planning to seek admission into university to make her happier. She commended me. But deeper in me I had committed a fatal error which could incur the wrath of my mother. The following month I wrote JAMB to seek admission to University of Ibadan to read Law, but I ended up at the university’s Faculty of Arts to read English.
My mother celebrated my admission into University of Ibadan. She danced and danced, and offered me prayers. I felt fulfilled for making my mother the happiest person. While the celebration was still on-going, I got the news of my convocation ceremony at TASCE. I broke the news to her and she promised to honour me. Indeed, she came to rejoice with me on the occasion.
My mother maintained the same disposition towards me throughout my stay at University of Ibadan. She supported me financially and prayed for me consistently.
Mama died on November 17, 2012 some few hours to my birthday celebration and was buried on December 28, 2012.
My Sweet Mother, you were indeed my sole financier and pillar behind my success. Mama, words are not enough to express my gratitude to you. You moulded me and made me a successful man. I owe my success to you and God. I would forever remember and love you. Thanks for your encouragement.
Sleep well, Mama.
Idowu Sowunmi can be reached on: idowusowunmi@yahoo.com
Trending
- OSUN: NANS seeks intervention from Governor Adeleke, threatens protest over fee hike, palliative
- Easter Celebration: IGP orders round-the-clock water-tight security at all public spaces
- Kogi poll: SDP witness contradicts self on alleged ‘affidavit forgery’ against Governor Ododo
- No BoT in Labour Party, spokesman dismisses takeover claims
- Nigerian writer urges preservation of literary heritage amid writer shortage
- Health professionals brainstorm in Abuja, seek drug free society
- CAF announce dates for Champions League, Confederation Cup Finals
- Tayo Ayinde withdraws suit against Gani Adams, restates commitment to peace