It’s another weekend. One would ordinarily look forward to some rest and fun activities, but this is a peculiar one because of the governorship election coming up in Nigeria. There is still some form of apprehension though the presidential election has been held. Several people are unsatisfied with the results, so there’s palpable calm in our country.
Be that as it may, one of the easiest ways to release tension at this time is through sex. Sex is a powerful de-stressor, but what happens if your partner is not up to the task? This is one of the ways sexual frustration sets in. Sexual frustration is a fairly common phenomenon in our world today and it is worth looking into.
Sexual frustration is a state of irritation, annoyance or stress resulting from sexual inactivity or sexual dissatisfaction.
It is a natural response that many people experience at one time or another. Some people assume sexual frustration only applies to those with a high sex drive, but that is not the case. It occurs in anyone whose sexual arousal is not met with adequate sexual activity. And this leads to tension. While sexual frustration can present differently among individuals, it can cause negative health effects and lead to anger, recklessness, anxiety and depression.
Sexual frustration does not refer to a person’s libido. Instead, it describes a person being unable to satisfy the sexual arousal they are experiencing. It is a common experience and it can affect many people, regardless of age, gender, sexuality and relationship status.
There are no known health condition associated with sexual frustration. However, a 2021 study indicates that sexual frustration may increase the risk of violence, aggression and crime. Restrained sexual behaviours may also negatively affect a person’s efficiency at work. This is according to a 2016 study.
Interestingly sexual frustration can be a reaction to something that’s not related to sex at all, but instead is a fallout of the feeling of being out of control elsewhere in life.
In the context of a relationship though, sexual frustration can be a result of one partner feeling like their needs aren’t prioritised in terms of the frequency of sex and even in terms of how their partner behaves during sex.
In a lot of cases, sexual frustration isn’t the primary condition that needs to be addressed. People who feel sexually frustrated may be dealing with other negative events in their lives that are affecting their views and desire for sex.
Some symptoms of sexual frustration include:
* feeling irritable and restless.
* experiencing rejection from recent sexual advances.
* feeling less confident or less interested in sex.
* having less sex, masturbating less or both
* having sexual expectations that partners are unable to fulfill.
* performing riskier behaviours to fulfill sexual desires.
* feeling too stressed or tired to have sex or masturbate, even when there is a desire to do so.
* arguing with a partner more often and steering arguments back to the topic of sex.
* engaging in unhealthy coping behaviours such as binge eating or drinking
* frequently fantasising or daydreaming about sex.
* watching porn or movies with many intimate scenes.
There are many reasons for sexual frustration:
* Lack of sex.
* Unsatisfactory sex or the inability to achieve orgasm.
* Lack of sexual partner.
* Unmet expectations.
* Poor communication.
* Medical conditions such as erectile dysfunction, anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, etc.
How to prevent and combat sexual frustration
* Masturbation: A person can use this to release pent-up physical and mental tension.
* Connect with friends: Meeting with friends may ease a person’s physical cravings for nonsexual intimacy.
* Exercising: This can help release tension and boost a person’s mood.
* Virtual sex: sexting, video sex or phone sex, sending each other nudes can help create feelings of intimacy despite the distance.
* Communication: Openly expressing sexual needs and desires can help avoid dissatisfaction. A person can show their partner what they enjoy, voice their exact preferences and plan how to spice things up.
* Dating: A person can use apps, dating sites and other means to connect with other individuals to engage in casual sex or a relationship.
* Explore and add variety: a person can use sex toys and also try new positions.
* Channel the energy elsewhere: Socialising and learning a new skill can be good ways to take a person’s mind off sex.
* Listen to music: Music has been proven to improve a person’s mood and ease their frustration.
* Take medications: Sometimes, sexual frustration stems from a person’s sexual performance issues such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. Receiving treatment for these can help improve a person’s sexual experience and reduce frustration.
On a last note, whatever you decide, make sure it’s something that can work for you.
I would love to get feedback, questions, and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
Let’s meet tonight (Friday) in the chatroom. If you want to be a part of it, send me a message on Telegram at: @tiwa_says. Chatroom opens at 10pm every Friday.
Watch out for my YouTube channel.
#tiwa_says; 09032331388; tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.
