There is a school of thought that believes a husband or wife usually has an uncontrollable urge to be unfaithful after seven or eight years of matrimony.
I first heard the term from one of my male friends, who told me in no uncertain term that most men, especially in Nigeria, suffer from this malady called the seven year itch.
I didn’t bother asking him if he had been afflicted, for I knew he just had the second year itch, if there was anything like that, since he got married.
What do I mean? I mean he had no qualms banging anything in skirt.
I sometimes fear he might have been playing the field just days after his wedding, if not on his wedding day!
When he told me about the seven year itch, he explained that it was a phase, which most married couples will have to face in their marriages.
I didn’t know whether he was trying to justify his philandering to me or selling me the idea that it was okay for me to indulge in a little sexual indiscretion.
Well, I’m not here to castigate him or any other guy like him out there, who tells you that variety is the spice of life.
Guys who tell you that eating egusi soup always could give them acute indigestion, so it’s always better to change diet with respect to babes. Yeye guys!
I have since found out that there is actually a belief by some people in the seven year itch theory.
Do you believe in it? Since you got married, have you ever strayed sexually from your partner? When did it happen? What it seven or eight years into the marriage?
It seems so far fetched, but I heard it’s true. I heard that when this sexual dissatisfaction hits a person, he or she will know no peace until they have cheated on their spouses.
It’s a phase that comes in the marriage, which if not handled carefully, could lead to the breakdown of the union.
Now you have to understand, there are some men and women who have naturally itchy sex organs. Seven year itch or not, they will cheat on their spouses.
Nay, this is not the type of couple the seven year itch being analysed here is about.
The seven-year itch is about the good husband and wife, who had been faithful to their spouses since they got married. In fact, had never dreamt of cheating on each other, but now suddenly feel like doing so in the seventh or eighth year of the marriage or go crazy!
I also understand that these feelings usually come with a lot of dissatisfaction with ones marriage.
The feeling that you’re not complete…that something is missing…that you’re losing or missing out on something. A feeling that life is slowly passing you by and that you’re losing your identity.
On this seventh or eighth year of marriage, satisfaction in the union allegedly begins to wane. Couples are frustrated for some reasons or no reasons at all.
Phew! I know that couples could have a hell of quarrels in marriage or even engage in extra-marital affairs, but it’s horse shit to expect me to believe that these problems begin to rear their ugly heads in the seventh or eighth year of marriage.
Nay, tell that to the marine!
But if you have experienced any conflict in the seventh or eighth year of marriage, please let me know. In life, we are never too old to learn and imbibe knowledge.
I heard it happened to a guy. He was a good Christian, not a pastor.
A good husband to his wife. And a good father to his children. He however has a bunch of friends, who were into ‘babe runs.’ These guys are married, but they see nothing wrong in checking out the vital statistics of other women between the bed sheets.
Most times, he would be there when they are talking about their conquests. The problem with maintaining friendship with such men is that they would want to match you up with their mistresses’ lady friends.
Our brother was a looker. Even without his friends, women naturally gravitated toward him. He had mastered the act of saying a firm no to many ladies. Then something started happening in his marriage. Things were not going as smoothly as they used to. His cronies noticed his preoccupied, sad mien. He told them that home was becoming too hot to live in.
He was at his most vulnerable, needing their encouragement and advice. But what did they do?
Yeah! Wicked SOB! Gave him a babe who seduced and almost banged his brains out.
He later told his friends that it was almost as if he was eating the forbidden for the first time, that the experience was profound. They wanted him to continue toeing such path, but he couldn’t. It was not his style. Indeed, guilt was eating him up.
Anyway, he made up with his wife and that seemed to be the end of the story. And since then, he had never cheated again on his wife and his marriage seemed to be made in heaven.
Now get one thing straight…the person who told me this story was trying to buttress his argument on the importance of the seven-year itch. He insisted that sometimes, affairs are good tonic for marriages going through stormy times.
I didn’t and still don’t buy it!
There is no excuse under the sun that some men will not come up with just to soothe their consciences on infidelity.
Now, somebody is talking about the seventh year itch.
If you ever have such an itch, take a cold shower and rub vaseline petroleum jelly on the agitating one eyed snake or wet honey pot!
Believe me, it will take care of that itch! Seven-year itch my foot!
I also gathered that for some women, the seven year itch that attacks them is just that they want more out of life than they were currently getting in their marriages. I really don’t know whether this is another slant on mid life crisis.
What do you think? I know that in most mid life crisis, couples tend to do foolish and stupid things, including indulging in a torrid affair!
Some men will start wearing pencil mouth trousers, which they stopped wearing while in secondary school, or even take to dating younger babes.
Some will start wearing fitted tee and packet shirts. They can spend hours gyrating in front of the mirror like stupid peacocks!
Yes, real stupid things. All of a sudden, they want to be boys again. Fear of growing old besets them.
Believers in the seven-year itch stressed that if couples do not handle this phase with maturity, it could lead to separations and divorces.
Seven or eight years into the marriage, is usually a trying time for couples, opined experts. This is when the blissful marriage, slowly starts turning to a nightmare.
These experts further insisted that the major causes of the seven-year itch are boredom with the relationship or even ones-self.
Feeling trapped, unfilled and undesirable. Couples no longer have time for each other and there is a decrease in communication.
Anyway, I just wanted to know your take on this seven year itch theory. So what the heck do you think? Do you seriously believe in it? Do share with us! Write to: [email protected]