I feel plenty sorry for Mr. Devil.
Everybody, and I mean everybody, blames the poor guy for every stupid sexual mistake they make…or should I say blame him for the result of their sexual encounters.
My neighbour just told me a story and I’m plenty mad…especially when the stupid guy, who committed the sin so to say, blamed his sin on Mr. Devil, instead of the adventurous snake caged inside his trousers!
Hey, wait a minute, don’t start with me…don’t interrupt me…it makes me lose my trail of thought…yeah, yeah, I know….I will tell you what she said…Haba! Slow down…no need to rush…I’m the person that started the gist, no need to start prompting me to tell…no, I won’t forget…ok…let me tell it…God, some people are so wahalasome!
She came back from church late that day…she’s always going to church you know…
Came late that day…felt she had to give me reasons for her lateness. I didn’t give a crap anyway. But who will tell her?
I didn’t have the heart.
Said one of the church workers balled a sister, who is also a member in the church and scored! Appeared he’s so good that he could put Chelsea Football Club to shame! Go boy!
Now, the story is not about how adroit the guy is on the sister’s football pitch, but the fact that the church is one of those fire-fire churches.
In such churches, it’s rare to hear that people…including pastors, kiss, let alone go to the extent of removing clothes, caressing turgid manhood…or suckling on stubbornly erect nipples…
That was one of the shockers anyway. When she dropped the bombshell…it is not a bombshell to me O!…it was to her though…. Why? Beats me. Since she bangs too!
Seems the guy and the sister had been balling each other like their very lives depended on it…and the guy still had the effrontery to mount the pulpit on worship days to conduct praying sessions, songs and praises. Go figure!
I still felt it was all a load of crap! No big deal in balling…or is there?…where the heck is she heading with this story?
I mean, almost all pastors, clergies ball like there’s no tomorrow!
Nobody seems to care much…it happening everyday…
Some even do it these days inside the church…May God forgive them!
It’s no longer a breaking story…the breaking story should be about pastors, clergies, who don’t ball!
But she was apparently determined to tell me the story, no matter how much I feigned not been interested. ok…I accept… I was a bit interested…
The incident must be symbolic to her…don’t know in what way…please don’t ask me.
Nobody knew precisely how long the guy and sister had been banging, but it soon resulted into pregnancy.
Imagine standing on the pulpit, screaming invectives on sinners…condemning fornication, adultery, while engaging in it with impunity! Nawa O for some of these born again! To be born again na by force?
I can just imagine him singing choruses like the very angels…later using that same mouth to suckling a nipple to pebble hardness…ha!
One day, the sister came to tell the brother that she was pregnant.
Naturally, she refused to discuss anything which had to do with abortion.
Why?
She’s a born again! Abortion is a sin!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Did she say born again? Yes O, please don’t laugh! This is a serious issue.
My guess? She probably wanted the handsome church worker…the incredible hunk in bed…yes O…you don’t know abi?…kai, believe me, many of these born again sisters and brothers are terrorists in bed…they can bomb you…you’d come out from the performance looking like you don’t know what hit you…daze…delirious…wanting another experience…needing another bang.
Beats me if I know where they learn such bedmantics from…what did you say?…Ohhh…right…when they were in the worldly world?
Oh, if you say so.
Yes, she probably wanted him to make an honest woman of her.
It would have been the perfect solution, except there was a problem.
What problem?…I say chill…. Anymore interruptions, I’ll zip my lip.
Problem was that the guy is married! Was that a gasp of surprise?
Yeah, you’re finally beginning to get the drift of the story. Not ordinarily married, but with plenty screaming children thrown into the bargain.
Our brother knew he was in a jam. What did the idiot with a reckless, restless candy stick do? Go ahead…guess…He bolted! Turned Benson Johnson…a whole born again…he’s a coward…
Bolting is no big deal once a guy puts a lady in the family way, but this brother is the epitome of stupidity.
When Baba God was sharing mumu…he went there with bathing basin…
Ask me where he ran off to…please humour me and just ask me where he ran to?
He ran off to another branch of the church, still within the same zone! How stupid can a guy be? Like a child around the area wouldn’t recognize him, let alone an adult.
It’s like a duck, trying to hide its head inside a pond of water, yet the duck’s arse is showing…so who is fooling who here?
He went to that branch to continue as a worker…seems he likes working for God, but the rampaging snake between his thighs is his Achilles.
Don’t know what lies he fed them in that branch…though I heard he was a known figure even in the church headquarters.
Pregnancy is not something anybody can hide.
Our sister’s tummy started bulging out..Questions were asked…answers were given.
The brother was easily traced to the branch he ran to…he was invited to explain how it happened.
That was the part I didn’t understand…what do they mean by how it happened?
Even my five-year-old son will tell them that the brother stuck his peg into the round hole of the sister and bingo…bigibigi belle happens…
Even an idiot can figure that out.
What they ought to have asked…or what I would have loved to ask if I was there, was…where did they use to meet to ball?…when did they use to meet?
After every church service or what?
Our brother also blamed his action on the fact that he was having marital problems with his legal wife and thus had been denied sex for a while. Ha. What arrant nonsense!
You’ve not heard anything yet! It gets better.
The idiot finally told what led yours sincerely down this path of writing the gist.
He blamed his action on Mr. Devil…can you beat that? Was it poor Mr. Devil who unzipped his trouser, pulled it down his two legs as he prepared to do battle on the bed with the sister…?
Was Mr. Devil there when our brother’s one eyed snake started slithering and hissing sexually at the sight of the sister’s bakasi and boobs?
Was it Mr. Devil that dragged him on the bed and forced his turgid JT to slide into the sister’s eager, wet and waiting core?
When on earth will men…women…begin to take responsibility for their actions?
Pastor balls second pastor’s wife…it was caused by Devil…
Choir master balls choir mistress, its sure is the Devil’s handiwork…
We sneeze, Oh no… not again, Mr. Devil…we fart in the church congregation, instead of stepping outside…oh, there goes Devil again…making me fart!
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