They tend to romanticise their old flames, forgetting and wondering why they ever parted ways. It also happens to those who refuse to accept that it’s over.
When marriages become stormy…and the person giving you solace…a shoulder to cry…asking about your needs…worried on your behalf is your ex-lover, believe me, balling him or her, is as easy as chewing epa ati guguru!
It could also happen easily because both lovers had seen each other’s nakedness before…so what’s the big deal, you wonder? So why not go ahead with it…
But all these have to do with your mind. If he/she finds you so hot to bang now, why did he/she jilt you to marry another?
Meat that one can eat should not be sniffed!
Personally, it’s either he/she wants you or not. No bullshit like: “Love you but we are not compatible.” If we are not compatible to marry, I fail to see why we should be compatible to be browsing each other’s website and downloading in bed.
What I’ am saying here is that contrary to what Okafor claims, I still believe that one could and can still have a nice, close relationship with an ex-lover.
You just have to be careful with the way you handle situation if the person tries to act funny.
No slaps…. handle with care.
A few weeks back, my first love called me. I was so much in love with him back then that my family called a family meeting on the ground that we took a blood oath.
Silly assumption of course! We fell apart because he decided to test his football playing skills on a younger girl…while I was on campus.
He scored a goal, which he apparently wanted to be a foul. They now have a baby boy.
He called, asking where is all the love I had professed for him back then. He wanted us to be lovers again. That he still loves me. And pigs can fly!
I don’t understand how you love a babe and still nonchalantly make love to another, to the extent of impregnating her. No sense in making an ex-love an enemy.
I asked him about his wife and told him that I was getting married… I have no time for frivolities.
We are still friends, I believe in platonic kind of relationships. True, it could get out of hands…but that choice is up to you.
Once you’ve dated somebody, both of you can still be friends…helping each other, especially in hours of need…nay! Not sexual needs O! Haba! That guy over there is planting ideas and words into my mouth, head and typing…but na lie! E no go work!
If you know where you’re coming from…and where you are heading to…you wouldn’t make love with a former lover.
Your self-respect is at stake. If you think I am wrong, please don’t hesitate to let me know.
I want to understand better. If you allow one banging in a moment of sexual weakness with a former lover, you’d surely be in for several rounds.
If you are like me, you’d find yourself falling in love all over again with the person. This is why I try to steer clear of casual sex. Once I make love with a guy, I usually fall for him. Yeah, I know…old fashion idiot…that’s me!
If you think you are banging him/her in secret, the walls might one day tell on you. You could destroy his/her marital home or new relationship.
This lady needs your advice:
My name is Sandra. I have two children. My husband and I named them Prince and Precious. My husband dotes on me. Patrick is a bank manager and I am a journalist. I have everything a woman needs. Patrick makes sure of that. From a flashy car down to wardrobe filled with clothes, shoes and jewelry to match.
But I have only truly loved one man in my life: Kehinde!
He is the only guy I had truly felt that illusive feeling of sexual chemistry. It’s not everybody that is lucky to have felt and experienced sexual chemistry. I pity those who had not!
We were both course-mates in school when we fell in love. We made love at each and every turn. I thought heaven was me lying on Kehinde’s chest after each round of sex.
I thought heaven was both me holding hands with him to attend campus shows.
To me, heaven was hearing his ringing laughter…smiling at his gap-tooth smiles.
With Kenny beside me, I saw myself in a white flowing wedding gown.
But it was not to be. I was posted to Katsina and Kenny to Port Harcourt, Rivers State for our NYSC.
I wanted to discuss the future, but he was reluctant. At a point, he stopped mailing and calling. At a point, a lady started picking his calls. I confronted him. He said he was too young to get married or start planning for one.
We drifted apart after service. One day, I was travelling to my village when I met Patrick in the bus. We exchanged phone numbers and within two years, we got married. I was into journalism before the children started coming.
This year, I returned from annual leave to see Kehinde in our media house in Lagos. I didn’t even know he was a journalist. He was equally shocked to see me.
He was married and blessed with a baby boy. We started going to lunch together. I didn’t see anything wrong with us being friends again.
Then the fateful media workshop in Ghana happened.
The company sent about six staff over for the training in Ghana. Kenny and I were part of the six. It was for four weeks. One night, we were together in my room…just having a gist and laughing about past events we had experienced and shared together.
How we ended up making love is what I couldn’t just now understand. Finally, when we were back in Nigeria. Kenny wanted us to continue the balling but I said no.
He said he loves me. I reminded him of his wife and my husband. He didn’t just give a fig!
Rather, he started black-mailing me…saying that if I didn’t continue with the sex, he would tell my husband about the Ghana tryst.
I agreed to continue the affair….
I don’t want to lose Patrick. I know I will if he finds out. Our colleagues that went to Ghana knew about the affair. Kenny said he would tell Patrick to ask them.
Also he has my bra and brief, which Patrick bought for me for our wedding anniversary with him.
He threatened to show them to Patrick. I didn’t even know he had those items. Please help me, what must I do? I’m in a fix!