Aren’t you just sick and tired of this specie that calls themselves ministers of God?
Are they for real or mere court jesters?
To be minister no bi by force O!
I’ve always said it, either you’re in the church/mosque or you’re out of it!
Who dem dey fool sef? Certainly not me….maybe the guy next door!
Or do they think they’re fooling God? Ha! That’s a laugh!
What’s the meaning of one leg inside, one leg outside?
Ohhhh….so you don’t know what I’m blabbing about?
Abi you bi one of them? Yes, one of the ministers of God?
Seems to me that the more churches/mosques mushroom every day, in every cranny and corners, ministers of God seem to wax randy and randier and randiest!
Come to think of it…how many of them are truly called anymore these days?
I bet majority of them call themselves ministers of God because of what they can get out of it. Mercenaries! That’s what they all are!
Or how do you explain the fact that Iya Sunday, a widow, who sells tomatoes by the road side, under rainfall and scorching sun, pays her tithes and offerings, which the church used to build a private university, yet she cannot afford to send any of her six children to the school because the fee is too high?
Ha! I can see you frowning….why is she on this trip again?
But I’m not hitting on tithes and offering today. I’m worried about the moral laxity, sexual laxity in the supposed holy places of God and among supposed men/women of God.
Why is it that these days, they all want to give babes with jutting boobs spiritual bath?
These are young, pretty ladies who are in search of husbands. Once they catch sight of such a babe and know that she’s frantically searching, worried that her eggs are practically begging her to make something out of them…our ministers, supposed men of God, exploit such ladies.
They tell them that if they ever wanted to ever be called Mrs, they must come for a spiritual…a bath which would be given by the pastor himself…can you imagine that? Will you agree to such a bath? Are ladies that desperate these days to get married?
And I can’t help wondering, if it’s the same pastor that will sponge the babe’s boobs…sponge between her thighs and other places….
I was discussing with my man about a particular minister, when he told me to forget about those set of people that call themselves ministers of God.
He said: “They think of nothing but money and sex!”
Do you agree with him? I certainly do! I don see 10-10!
Do you guys recollect the time I went for prayers and the pastor asked me to strip naked?
Well, the number of such ministers of God have tripled today.
Beats me how somebody could calmly mount a pulpit to preach fire and brimstones on fornication and adultery, only for him to be found between the succulent thighs of a babe/guy minutes after leaving the worship centre.
Oh forget it!…spare me the bullshit that we’re not supposed to speak ill of ministers of God. Well, I’ve spoken against them! There!
You won’t believe that a minister of God came to Nigeria, all the way from US, ostensibly to spread the word of God. They call them missionaries. But he ended up in the matrimonial bed of a married babe!
Some babes get mind O! One thing is to cheat on your husband; another thing is to allow your lover to bang you on your matrimonial bed! Nawa O!
But that’s what the babe did. Her husband works outside Lagos, and she went on a sex spree…banging the pastor until he was speaking in tongue and quoting chapters and verses of the bible that do not exist!
So my guy told me why he had suddenly become too bitter with those calling themselves men of God.
After listening to the first story, I knew he was being prejudiced because the lady caught in the web of the pastor’s lies was his friend.
How did the story start sef?…I can’t remember…but suffice to say that the pastor got engage to this lady, promising his undying Christian love and marriage after a home had been found. He stays in Nigeria, she stays overseas.
The way I heard it, he used to visit the States in order to propagate the gospel of God – another missionary. He used to come with a particular pastor friend to propagate this word of God.
Don’t even go there….yes, don’t go there…I know what you wanted to ask me…you wanted to ask me if the pastor and lady used to bang, right?
Don’t know…can’t say what I don’t know. Most of these pastors bang like dogs these days. It’s shocking that many of them no longer see anything wrong with illegal banging anymore.
You of course know that we have legal and illegal banging. You don’t know? Don’t believe you! You want to derail me from my discussion…you won’t succeed!
But if you truly don’t know, mail me!
My guy claimed that the entire babe’s discussion was always seasoned with, “My fiancé is a pastor…he said this…he said that…”
She was heavily into the pastor. She probably believed that no lies had ever passed through his holy mouth.
Ha! Ha! Ha! I can bet my one year pay pack that his holy mouth had gone down on many honeys, while our babe stays overseas, playing the bride in waiting!
Under several missionary guises, the pastor collected whooping sums of money from our gullible sister. At a point, the pastor said he had found an apartment; she started shipping to Nigeria, all sort of home furniture.
Poor babe! Was she lovesick or just another mugu?
It went on until she was almost drained, but she didn’t complain. She was in love with a minister of God. Everything she spends was meant for when they’d eventually get married and also for the growth of the work of God. Story O! We don hear am tire O!
How kasala come take burst? Good question!
The pastor’s best friend…the one I told you guys used to visit the babe with him, went to spill the bean that turned the rosy relationship, to one of thorns.
He told her that the pastor was already married. In fact, he was living with his legal wife right then.
I want you people to get this clear…he was not a fake pastor…just a lying, cheating, SOB minister of God!
She couldn’t believe the story. She decided to check things out for herself. Bought a ticket and made a beeline for Nigeria. She was already armed with the guy’s address, thanks to our gossiping second pastor.
She got to the address; knocked…the door was opened by the pastor’s wife…the rest as they say, is story!
Yes, I hear you sister over there…I can feel you brother…preach it!…heaven far O!…I agree!
What made our gossiping second pastor to start singing like a bird after all these years?
You’re dead wrong if you think his pastor(ly) conscience pricked him. Nay. He had been green with envy since the friend was chopping the mugu sister, left, centre and forward.
He had chopped her materially, spiritually and financially.
He probably wanted a piece of the action.
You won’t believe what the idiot second pastor said to the sister after the dust settled?…guess…just guess…
He said he’d liked to marry her since it didn’t work out with his friend! Can you beat that?
What about the sister that was sick with worry because she wanted to have a baby and the baby just refused to come? She had a caring husband, who was equally determined to get to the root of their childlessness.
They naturally started going to meet their pastor for prayers.
I heard that the woman was just too pretty, that even an eunuch’s dead looking one eyed snake will shake itself awake if…you know what I mean.
All the time the yeye pastor was praying for them, he was seeking ways to penetrate her fortress and dig into her wet hole. This pastor was highly respected in the society. In fact, to her husband, after God, the pastor was the next thing.
You can’t possibly imagine how stunned the woman was when this saintly minister of God, told her that the only way she and her husband could ever have a child was if he banged her!
He painted his holy fluid as one that could instantaneously make any woman pregnant, no matter how stubborn her ovaries or eggs are…his fluid was the magic one…
If the fluid is so powerful…so miraculous in forming a baby, he ought to be selling it at Pharmacies, don’t you think?
Yes O!…you appeared shocked….I’m not! Nothing about ministers of God will ever be able to shock me. Nothing!
She turned down his amorous proposal. The pastor started pestering her, seizing any opportunity to renew his proposals. It was pure sexual harassment. It was so bad that she began to dread going for any of the church services.
The woman wanted to tell the whole world but knew that nobody would believe her tale.
She even tried to tell her husband, but he didn’t believe her. He didn’t want to believe that his pastor had clay feet.
Perhaps the pressure was too much…perhaps the woman finally realized that what the pastor felt was true and real love…perhaps she had fallen for him or liked his persistence….I don’t know…the fact was that she changed her mind…yeah, gave the proposal a second thought.
One day, she invited him over to her matrimonial home…to seal the agreement, she said.
She had accepted his proposal. She cooked for him, fed him spices that could make a guy’s candy bar stand attention, ready for action.
The thought of the coming marathon made the guy’s soldier to start gyrating and behaving inside his trousers. The agitation was too much…it was like a riot inside there. He even wanted to grab the woman at the diner, but she told him to calm down. They had the whole day, she promised, batting her eyelashes lustfully at him.
After food, she took him to her matrimonial bed and bade him to remove his clothes. His JT was now embarrassingly turgid. It was standing erect, with all the sinews standing on ends. At that particular moment, if you dare to grab and throw it at the guy over there…yes, that guy over there…it would perforate his forehead! It was as hard as Olumo rock!
He needed it badly…he needed her badly.
The stupid, over eager pastor, didn’t notice that he was the only one doing the undressing. He was soon naked as the day he was born.
He flexed his muscles. The lady asked him to relax on the bed, while she went to prepare herself-body-for his sexual ministration. He smiled lustfully, even slapped her buttocks.
Dirty old fool! He was already seeing himself, grinding brutally into her!
Oh, come on…let the idiot dream.
As the pastor was flexing and rotating his hips and buttocks in preparation for the imperial act, the woman took his boxer, trouser, singlet and shirt. She walked out of the bedroom.
Guess what she did with them….
Ha! Ha! Ha!
To be continued.
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