I have come to realise that most people live a life based on assumptions and popular opinions rather than on facts and personal convictions.
The irony of the matter is that no matter how popular an opinion is, it’s not a fact and it doesn’t work for everyone.
This is true even for sexual matters.
It brings to mind the conversation I had with a colleague of mine who came to me complaining about her sex life with her partner. She was vexed as she told me that her man can’t go past one round at a time, he usually needed about an hour to refresh before he could go again, and this always left her unsatisfied.
I explained to her that this is true for a lot of men. I proceeded to tutor her on a few facts.
To clear the air on some sexual assumptions, here are some sexual facts about men women need to know:
. Let’s start with the issue of second rounds. Most men need time of refreshing after ejaculation/cuming. Not all men can go a second round.
This is different for women who can have one orgasm after another and can keep going after an orgasm. Male sexuality is a bit more limiting than that. After a man has an orgasm, his body just isn’t ready to continue having sex. Most times he’s even barely awake. It’ll take some time before sexual stimulation feels good and he can become hard again. As a man ages, the refractory period can extend.
Women sometimes also experience a similar refractory period. After an orgasm, clitoral touch can become excruciating.
This is not to say there are no men who can keep going after an orgasm. It is one of the perks of being young and virile.
. Men can have multiple orgasms as well. This is not a myth. It can take some time to master though. It involves being able to know and explore with different stimulations, the male erogenous points.
. A man can be unaware of his STI status, so it is important for the woman to routinely get tested for STIs and STDs, especially HPV, which can lead to cancer. Vaccines are however available for HPV, but safe sex remains the best protection.
. Men do have other things on their minds contrary to popular belief. According to a study, men think about sex an average of 34.2 times a day, and not every second according to public opinion.
. Men crave love. This may be a surprising fact but it’s true. The stereotypes about men don’t necessarily represent the truth. A lot of men find casual sex to be empty and meaningless. They’d rather have sex with someone they care about. Plus, having regular sex with the same person gives you a chance to explore and trust your partner, which can’t happen with a one-night stand.
. Men get anxious too. Men have all sorts of sexual anxiety, from size to performance tension, and even the worry of being with a new partner. Men are not immune to expectations of their bodies or performance. So while the woman is wondering about her looks and if she’s doing a good job in bed, the man is also having similar concerns.
. Men can ejaculate inward. Sometimes a man can ejaculate inward, meaning that his semen goes to his bladder rather than out of his body. This is called retrograde ejaculation. It can occasionally happen to men. And it is sometimes a symptom of a serious condition. It’s usually not harmful and can resolve itself without intervention.
. Men can ejaculate at an amazing speed. A man’s sperm could shoot over 38 inches vertically from their body without any encumbrances. It is interesting to note that a woman’s vagina severely impedes the speed of travel of semen. It takes several hours for sperm to move through the vagina to the cervix, and most sperm may not be able to reach an unfertilised egg, which would result in pregnancy.
. Men masturbate more often than women. Now, I don’t find this shocking at all. Statistics have it that 63 per cent of men and 42 per cent of women masturbated in the last year. Men aren’t just more likely to masturbate more. They’re more likely to masturbate regularly than women, too. This is not to say it is a bad thing. One of the perks of frequent masturbation is knowing what you like and how you get off. And this is something that many women struggle with. Touching yourself can be good for your sex life.
. Men’s average penis size is smaller than you think. According to a famous survey, the average size of an erect penis is between 5 inches and 5.65 inches, which means even a 6-inch penis is above average.
It has been discovered though that women prefer a slightly longer and wider penis in casual relationships, but a less large penis in long-term relationships. Other factors are considered for long-term relationships.
It’s important to consider that there are two types of men: the showers and the growers. A shower has a larger flaccid penis that simply fills up with blood when he’s erect. A grower, on the other hand, has a smaller penis when it’s soft. But the difference in size when he’s erect can be substantial.
. Men have a G-spot. Isn’t that exciting? It is not an unknown organ. It is the man’s prostate, a sensitive organ that can be stimulated via his perineum (this is the space between his anus and scrotum) or through his anus. It’s about two inches inside and the size of a walnut. The prostate is key to a whole new world of pleasure for men.
. Penis size cannot change. Irrespective of all the pills and pumps advertised over the internet, there’s no way to increase penis size. Genetics and chance play a big part in this. After the last growth spurt in a man’s teen years, a man’s penis size remains consistent for the rest of his life.
Instruments like the cock ring can help to achieve a stronger erection and make a man feel bigger. Science does suggest that a man’s penis will remain more elastic if he uses it more often.
. Sex is one of the most effective ways men show that they are in love.
. The number one sexual act desired by men is oral. This is not surprising.
. A man’s body releases sleep-inducing hormones after sex so he will doze off after a steamy sex session.
. Having at least four orgasms a week can reduce a man’s chances of getting prostate cancer by as much as 33 per cent. Just another good reason to indulge in sex regularly.
. The average male orgasm lasts for about six seconds, while the average female orgasm lasts for about 23 seconds.
. It is interesting to note that the oxytocin created during a man’s orgasm can increase his pain threshold by as much as 50 per cent.
Lastly, one should keep an open mind because there are always a few exceptions to every rule. Communication remains an important tool for understanding your partner’s sexual needs and desires. The key is to find what works for you and to keep exploring that.
I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
Let’s meet tonight (Friday) in the chatroom. If you want to be a part of it, send me a message on Telegram at: @tiwa_says. Chatroom opens at 10pm every Friday.
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#tiwa_says; 09032331388; tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.
