Men are weird creatures. I used to think women are the weirdest creatures. But the older I get, the more I get to hear and listen to crazy stuffs from men.
You know what?
I’m a good girl. I’ve always been. This is why many people use me as a sounding board. They talk and expects me to listen and I do listen.
So I listened to my friend Lagbaja as he told me about his wife. His marriage is not even 10 years. But his young wife has given him two lovely kids; a boy and girl.
They live in Port Harcourt. But he came to Lagos State for his company. The company is into marine business.
He was already staying four months in Lagos and I was beginning to worry about his young wife.
Life has taught me to be distrustful of marriages where husband and wife are far away from each other. I’ll never encourage my worst enemy to venture into that sort of marriage. I hate it!
So I called him:
“Lagbaja, are you hearing from your wife?”
“Yes naaa…why you dey ask?”
“You dey here dey bang different women everyday, who dey bang your wife?”
“She don born naaa, wetin she want again?”
“Shooo! But you married a lady who you senior 100 times because you want her to born for you? She’s still young. Why not allow her to come visit you for Lagos and go back?”
“ I don’t want,” said Lagbaja. “She don say she want come, but I said no.”
“I don’t understand you…”
“Make I tell you the truth my sister, my body no dey move for her again.”
“But your body dey move for other women?”
“Yes! If I dey with my wife, its like I dey with my sister. In short, we don become brother and sister. My prick no dey gree raise again for her.”
“But why? What’s wrong?,” I asked, genuinely puzzled and worried.
Then he gave me a stupid answer.
“Her breasts don fall! I like women with firm boobs. Breasts wey stand na him dey make my body move. ”
I was shocked and angry. He’s like a birthday kid, eating his cake and later asking for it. You just can’t have it both ways.
I don’t understand Lagbaja. But if truth be told, he’s just like hundreds, if not thousands of men out there.
He married the lady when she was just in her early twenties. He was in his mid forties back then.
I remembered wondering and pondering what the heck the lady saw in Lagbaja.
But life is all about different strokes for different folks. One man’s macaroni, is another guy’s worm.
If there should be anyone complaining in that marriage, it should be the young lady, whom I’m sure still has an full douse of sexual adrenalin, rearing to be satisfied.
When he got married to her, she was young, attractive and blessed with a rounded, firm boobs. Although I must confess that she’s not pretty. I’ve not seen her for long. Perhaps marriage might have done something to pretty her up.
When she came into his home, she came with nothing, except her humble self. But today, she rides a lovely car has tons of lovely clothes, shoes and astounding numbers of jewelry courtesy of Lagbaja. God knows I’m envious. Yeah, I’m just a woman.
Yes, you can’t fault Lagbaja in taking care of a woman, but when it comes to womanising, he takes the prize.
I don’t think what he’s doing to his young wife is right. Aside from his two kids, he was the local champion, lord of the ring, Olori Oko, who devoured those juicy and jutting oranges on his wife chest, before they became flattened. Now that they looked well suckled and dried up, he’s bolting.
And where the heck did he get to hear that women with saggy boobs can’t bang like their counterparts with erect boobs?
Everything has to do with the state of the woman’s mind.
I’ve always told my kid sister, Glory, that Lagbaja is like a child in candy store. He wants to have all the candies. He’s seeking for something elusive, something I can put my finger on.
A matured guy should know before going into marriage, that someday, his wife’s boobs, no matter how firm they looked and felt before they got married and started having kids, would sag.
Is it so difficult to understand? Who can cheat nature? Life, will always takes its natural course. You can’t bend it. We want to be young forever, but we can’t!
If you’re out there and you’re treating your wife the way Lagbaja treats his, you should know its unfair.
While Lagbaja is banging away his life, his poor wife is probably dying of sexual hunger.
What she’s supposed to do about it? Masturbate? Use a vibrator or pick a lover?
What do you think Lagbaja, who is the root cause of her predicament will do when he discovers this? Feel slighted? Bruised ego or what? I really don’t know and I want to.
If he forgives masturbation and use of vibrator, will he forgive her picking a lover?
This is what anger me most in men. Why would any guy in his right senses create an avenue, a situation, which would make it easier for your wife to cheat on him? Pushing her into the arms of another guy.
Is a guy, husband not supposed to do everything and anything within his power to ensure that his wife doesn’t so much as glance at another guy, let alone to sniff at another guy?
In Africa and Nigeria in particular, cheating men are never frowned on.
So Lagbaja can continue to cheat on his wife, nobody gives a hoot. But my thing is this: He should not starve his wife.
For how long will a guy continue to run away from fulfilling his conjugal right to his wife, just because her boobs has sagged?
As a husband, if you’re so keen on firm boobs, I guess the least you can do, is to take your wife for a boobs enhancement job.
I’ve told you guys of the old man who used to date young girls. Girls whom his last daughter is even older than. It was so bad that he refused to make love to his wife.
Amongst all his kids, the last daughter is the apple of his eyes. They were like two pears in a pod. She knew her dad dating was cheating big time. She asked him why he was particularly interested in young girls and why he was treating her mother thus.
He said he couldn’t help himself. He told her that his wife’s boobs were sagged. He’s just like my friend Lagbaja. His erection comes just by looking at those firm boobs.
One day he received a frantic call from his wife. His last daughter, his blue-eyed girl has been rushed to the hospital. There were fears she might die.
When he reached hospital, he was told before he entered the girl’s ward that she had an abortion. Who would dare have sex with such a child. He was shocked. She was so young. The mother said she had tried all she could, but the girl refused to give up the name of the guy who got her pregnant.
The man left his wife and other kids at the waiting room and hurried into the ward he was directed. He barged into the private ward and came to a shocking stand. He saw an old man, quite older than him, kissing his daughter, who was hanging on him like her life defended on him. The old man was whispering: “I’m sorry darling! I promised to make it up to you. I love you! I love you!”
The father gave a strangled gasp…his eyes became round as saucer after realisation dawned on him. His gasp attracted the lovers on the bed and three pairs of eyes clashed in shock.
Guess what happened next.
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