You’ve all heard what Yemisi revealed last week. She wanted me to tell her what to do: either to kiss goodbye to her marriage or stay put and take or receive more beatings and bullshits!
She asked each and everyone of you out there to give her just five reasons why she should continue to stay with her husband.
I don’t have five reasons at the drop of a hat on why Yemisi should continue to stay with her husband. Neither do I have five reasons why she should say good riddance to the bad marriage.
I know what you’re saying…I know what is going through your mind.
That this silly woman is not saying anything… Maybe so, but I would never tell any wife or husband to walk out of their marriage.
Such a decision is a personal thing.
Yemisi is the person going through hell right now. She’s the one receiving all the blows to her heart and body and as such, she of all people knows where it hurts most.
If she’s still asking and seeking my opinion on whether to stay or not, it means she had not reached that dead end in marriage, whereby a spouse will scream to high heavens, ‘enough is enough,’ and get the hell out.
Listen, it’s very easy to dish out opinions and give advice to people, but you must be ready to accept the consequences of your actions.
What about if Yemisi still loves her husband in spite of the shabby and humiliating way he had been treating her?
What if she wakes up one day and starts ruminating and regurgitating about her marital breakup? She might begin to look for whom to blame for her woes. Who do you think she might latch onto? Such is the frailty of human nature.
When people come to me with their loads of complaints, I listen because right then, that’s all they needed: someone to just listen. Someone to say it would be okay.
What Yemisi is going through is something a good number of women wouldn’t take. Yet another set of women are out there who had taken more and are probably even asking silently right now: “What the heck does she think she had been through? Let her come and hear my story.”
That’s the bitter truth of life. Different strokes for different folks.
I told you guys about the lady in the Bariga area of Lagos State whose husband used to bring his mistress to their matrimonial home. And whenever the mistress comes, the man would send his pretty, young wife to go and buy drinks for them.
You would have thought she was his maid instead of his wife. She was living a shame and everyone in the neighbourhood was talking about the couple. The husband had never taken pains to hide his mistress. Every idiot on the street knew her.
Some busybody people who felt the wife might not know the mistress, took time to point out to the little wife where the mistress lives.
But did it make any difference?
The thing with such men is that they first attack their wives’ psychologically, destroying her self-confidence, self-esteem. It’s a systematic thing. It starts with biting and hurting words hurled recklessly at her and then followed by punching her anytime she dares to reply.
Forgive me dears, but this has nothing to do with education. A woman must learn how to stand and defend herself!
Whether she’s educated or not!
Back to my story.
The day the wife refused to go and buy drinks for the husband and his mistress, was the day the husband beat her black and blue and even used bottle to smash her head.
With blood streaming down from her head, to her face and all over her body, she walked through the streets, crying to her parents’ house, but her father sent back.
He told her to go and face her marriage and husband.
Till date, she’s still with her husband, still receiving insults and beatings.
Before, the guy used to be magnanimous to give her and her two kids N200 everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but she apparently annoyed him too often and he stopped giving her anything.
A wife should be able to know when her husband is tired and wants her to leave.
It’s bed time. You’re both on the bed… you know you guys are having a turbulent marriage, just like many couples. So what else is new anyway?
Yet you want him to make love with you…after all, he’s still your husband. I don’t see any crime in that.
You can’t possibly start going to meet other men to ball you because the two of you are having problems. Then he drops his boxer and begins to caress and fondle his turgid manhood, while you’re there, watching in mounting anger and despair.
You watch as he jerks and reaches orgasm, while you’re there, stone cold, waiting and praying for him to touch you or give your aching vaginal a relief.
He didn’t, of course.
After he reaches orgasm, he switches off the bedside light and soon you hear him snoring. And he keeps every doing this every night…even brings his mistress to spend the night sometime in your matrimonial home.
Really, what do you need a soothsayer to tell?
I mean, if a woman doesn’t have pride, what else does she have left? I don’t believe that a woman needs a man to survive, so also I don’t believe that every lady must get married before she could be happy.
Life is too short to spend it with a guy who beats you everyday and treats another woman like a princess in your matrimonial home.
The bottom line is this: to quit your marriage or stay and slug it out is your call! After all, marriage is the real portrayal of what life is all about. Marriage is not and had never been a bed of roses. You need to work on it to succeed. You must also realize that some marriages are beyond working on…it’s more like trying to resurrect the dead.
Marriage is not a death sentence. A husband, who wants his wife gone from his home, can beat or bludgeon her to death out of festered hatred or blind rage.
There’s no second chance in life after death.
He however could get a second chance by bolting after killing his wife and going to another part of the country to remarry. Thanks to our security systems, which are yet to have databank for fleeing or wanted criminals!