I get a lot of complaints from men about their partners being lazy and not adventurous in bed, especially those in long-term relationships like marriage. It is a fact that sex can get monotonous if the partners involved are not dynamic. Men want to be pleasured.
They want to be an object of their partner’s passion. No rule says the responsibility of pleasuring is only on the men.
Sex is a sensual experience that involves the active participation of both partners. The truth is a lot of women have a lot up their sleeves, but they are afraid to let loose for fear of judgment and feeling of being inadequate. This is why open and honest communication is advised in relationships.
There’s nothing to fear or be ashamed of when it comes to sex. So I’m going to give some easy tips on how to make sex fun for the man and also the woman, with the woman taking charge.
We know every man loves a good ride. And by that I mean, lying down with the woman on top and giving control of the thrusting totally to his partner. Interestingly the girl-on-top position does not only refer to a cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position. There are so many variations to explore.
To be able to give your man the ride of his life, and keep him coming back for more, there are tips you have to master.
1. Confidence check: A lot of confidence is needed for the Girl-on-top position. When you are confident in bed, it gives you confidence in life as well. The trick is to close your eyes and imagine yourself as a different character. Talk to yourself, affirm yourself. Say to yourself things like: “I’m sexy/ I’m giving him the time of his life. I’m confident. I’m in control.” Sex can be anything you want it to be, but it’s different from what we see in movies or porn videos. So be patient and gentle with yourself.
2. Assume a comfortable position when you are riding your man to make the experience fun. There’s nothing wrong with holding on to something if it will make you more comfortable.
i. Get your hair out of the way so it doesn’t get in the way.
ii. You don’t have to do all the work: use his hands to guide you. You can ask your man to take control with you on top. It’s a twist he will most enjoy. That will also give you time to refresh.
iii. Flaunt your breasts as they bounce up and down due to the motions. For support, bending backward as you bounce gives you a place to rest your arm for a little extra support.
3. Move your hips: Riding is all about moving your hips. Don’t just bounce up and down. Twist your hips to the left and right, back and forth. Grinding in a circular motion. A Belly dance class can help with hip movements. If you want a do it yourself training at home, here’s a quick guide:
a. Hip circles: Shift your weight to the left hip and tuck your tailbone, then shift your weight to the right hip. Relax your tailbone as you come full circle and resume from the start.
b. Hip lifts: Take a deep breath and relax your body as you focus your attention on your hips and abs. Contract your oblique muscle to lift the left hip and release it to drop. Repeat with the right hip.
c. Figure 8: Shift your weight to the left hip, then to the front, and make a semi-circle towards the back. As you do this, your right hip will naturally gravitate toward the front.
To get into business, here are positions you can try:
Grinding: Sit on your partner, with him inside you, and move your hips forward and back. Don’t lift your legs or bounce up and down on him. You can experiment with leaning forwards or backward to see what works for you.
Stroking: Use your legs and move up and down with his penis inside you. Focus on using your legs only and not your whole body. Once you’re comfortable with this, you can add in a little grinding as you need. For added flavour, a little more hip action won’t hurt.
If you will like to step out of the regular, here are a few variations:
Asian cowgirl: The major difference between this and the regular cowgirl position is how you position your lower body. Instead of putting your weight on your knees, you will have your feet on the bed, squatting. For those who like to go fast, this is a better option for you.
Corner cowgirl: Have your man lie on the bed with his hips at the corner of the bed and his feet firmly planted on the ground. Straddle him either in regular or reverse cowgirl.
Reverse cowgirl: This is basically, the same as cowgirl. But instead of facing your man, you have your body turned away from him, giving him a perfect view of your booty. This is great if your man loves your backside, or if you are worried about making strange faces. It will also hit different spots for you. Just like doggy style hits are different from missionary, cowgirl and reverse cowgirl do not hit the same way.
Side straddle cowgirl: With your man ready for cowgirl position, his legs open, turn your back to him. As you get into a reverse cowgirl position, your legs are on either side of one of his legs. Have your man bring one leg up for you to grab onto.
Lastly, a very important tip I must not fail to mention is that you should have fun. Sex is supposed to be fun. And when you spend your time worrying about what should be, it takes all that away. With the tips above and a lot of practice, you will have more pleasurable experiences riding your man.
I would love to get feedback, questions and recommendations on the topics you would want me to shed light on.
Let’s meet tonight (Friday) in the chatroom. If you want to be a part of it, send me a message on Telegram at: @tiwa_says. Chatroom opens at 10pm every Friday.
Watch out for my YouTube channel.
#tiwa_says; 09032331388; tiwalolaoke@yahoo.com.
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