Felicia was dating another guy when she met him and decided he was the man God had ordained to marry her. It was like a whirlwind romance. Before you could even blink, there was introduction.
For reasons nobody could fathom, the love turned sour, not on Felicia’s part, but on the guy’s part.
He turned her into a punching bag. He hit her at any whim. She hung on, thinking and praying he would stop. She hung on, thinking and praying that he would soon realize that she loved him.
Friends, who had gotten married before her, told her to bear the punches and stomach the insults he invariably hurled at her any time the hitting and beating start. He most times riveted to insulting her absent mother and siblings.
They told her that every marriage had its up and downs, but none of them came out with bruised faces almost every day. As if the beating and insult were not enough, he was also cheating her and flaunting it.
How much more can a woman take?
Then one day, he attempted to strangle her in a blind rage. It took the intervention of neighbours who heard her cries for help to intervene and wrest her from his clutches. For days, she could not speak audibly. Her neck region was swollen. The strangulating hold of the guy almost damaged her voice cord. There were bruises all over her face. When she was asked, she told people she ran into a wall at home.
She was too ashamed and at a point, she began to blame herself for his incessant attack on her.
I told her that the guy would kill her and still go scot free. She didn’t leave, but the guy threw her one day in another fit of his usual blind rage. He threw her out at about 4am, uncaring whether she was raped or swooped on by ritual killers.
When he came to his senses as usual, he went to beg, but she put down her feet.
So before you castigate women/men who seek divorce, first try and find out what they must have gone through. I don’t want to believe that people simply use divorce as short cut to leave their marriages or seek another babe’s honey or guy’s joystick.
True, some folks may abuse divorce, jumping from one woman to another, not ready to make sacrifices or learn tolerance, but not all.
Naturally, overseas, women have turned divorce to lottery; swinging from one guy to another, like a monkey swings from one tree to another.
They divorce Mr, collect alimony and go to another and do the same. Even if they don’t have kids, the American judicial system makes sure they don’t leave the marriage empty handed. This is why many of them seek for rich men to marry, knowing they would soon walk out.
Below is my sister, Glory’s view. She said: Marriage they say is for better or worse; ‘till death do us part.’
But not when it actually involves life. The same man, who came to ask for your hand in marriage, now sees you as a tool to exercise power.
I won’t forget the case of mummy Destiny whose husband is a police man.
He beats her up even while making love to her. Beat her on the street, that she was no longer regarded by both old and young anymore. My question is this: how will such a policeman handle a domestic violence case if it was brought before him at his station?
Now, just because she is a born again, should she allow herself to be maimed because made a vow at the altar, to stay with him ‘for better or worse,’?
For me, I will not hesitate to file for a divorce. Life they say is precious. No man is worth dying for! Vow or no vow.”
Anyway, the point I’m trying to make here is that nobody wants his or her marriage to fail, but it’s often better to cut your losses and run, than to be killed because you want to remain in a relationship which no longer wants you.
I’m not a preacher, but I know that the pastors in our midst have another slant on this subject matter.
What is your own take on it? Remember, marriage is not a death sentence!
To be continued.
ebere20@gmail.com, 08038465069.
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