There were two married men. The first married man was already on the football pitch with her before the second married man showed up.
She was a single a lady and saw no big deal in welcoming the second married man into her life. The field is hers: she can decide on the number of players to play on it. She’s not just the owner of the field; she can equally decide who to give yellow and red card. She also gets to decide who to ‘bench’ and who to invite to play and dribble with her.
But for those of us watching from the outside, the set up was bizarre to say the least. Most single ladies would probably date a married man on the one side and single guy on the other side: The big idea in such a set up is to milk the married guy of his dough and attempt to snag and drag the single guy to the altar, whether he wants to or not.
But our friend didn’t plan her affairs that way. Thus there were two married guys in her life.
One warm Sunday afternoon, it was the screeching voice of the first married man in anger that had every one of us living in the building running out from our apartments like the hounds of hell were after us.
We got outside to see an unfolding drama. The first married man was raking, ranting and raving like someone possessed. He was possessed by anger.
The second married man was in full agbada, jiggling his car keys and standing beside the lady. He looked impatient and pretended not to notice that people were gawking at the three of them.
The lady was decked out in shorts and tight fitted top. The dressing was not latest fashion apparel, but apparently one meant for fighting. She was ready to battle first married guy. She was hurling abuses at the man. At every insult he threw at her, she had two or more to fling back at him. The man had screamed: “After all I had done for you…you slut…you still go after this useless man…”
She had replied: “What have you done for me…tell me what you have done for me? Did you build a house or buy a car for me…no bi your mate dey buy car for their girlfriends?”
And the drama and insults continued.
The root of the quarrel soon became clear to me. The first married man heard from some of his friends that the lady whom he had been lavishing his hard earned dough on, had been fielding another married guy and banging the living day light out of him.
He had told his friends to alert him any time they see the second married man with his ‘babe.’
When he received the call, he had driven his car like a maniac and sure enough, he found them together. The girl couldn’t understand why he was so angry.
She asked him why he was monitoring her life. And she asked him the million dollar question: “Are you going to marry me?”
Naturally, he wasn’t going to marry her. He was incensed that she was dating other men. He had always thought he was the only guy in her life. And pigs can fly!
I could have told him the truth, though it would have hurt him. The truth was that there were other men in her life, aside from him and the second married man.
I’m not really a big fan of babes that double date or date multiple guys, but at that particular time and situation, I took side with the babe.
Yes, I took side. I asked myself: what the heck is he offering her aside from a lousy roll in the bed…or maybe a good roll in the bed, who cares?
I really don’t get it! Why are married men possessive where their lovers/mistresses are concerned?
He has a wife at home and goes outside the home front to begin an affair with a young mistress. He doesn’t want to marry her, doesn’t have any grand plans for her beyond banging her, yet he doesn’t want to see her with any other guy.
Most married men are like the first married guy: angry and possessive where their mistresses are concerned. You wouldn’t believe that some of them even resort to beating their mistresses because they saw her with another guy. I call such men crazy married guys. You should know that as a married guy, your babe will naturally want to date a guy who will some day marry her. How many single ladies want to end up being shackled to a married a guy anyway for life?
It’s true that as a married guy, you may find yourself falling in love with your mistress or becoming quite fond of her. Such emotions, however, should not cloud your sense of reasoning or judgment.
When the relationship begins to snowball to a dimension you never bargained for and emotions also begin to run out of control, you should realise and know that it is time to sit, ruminate and ask yourself some salient questions. The questions should include: Do you want her for keeps? Are you ready to make an honest woman out of her? Do you have the emotional stability and financial muscles to run a polygamous home?
If you’re truthful to yourself, you’ll give yourself the right answers. Don’t be foolish and begin to ask your friends, who already have two or three wives, answers to your questions.
Many of them wouldn’t give your truthful answers. Hell, they’re probably not happy that you amongst all of them are still practicing monogamous marriage. They probably want you to be as miserable as they are. Whether you agree or not, polygamous home are mostly a hell of a place to live and grow up.
The quarrels, jealousy and backbiting are sickening. And if wife A has a headache, she suspects wife B. If their children fail examinations twice, yes O, it’s one of the wives. A hellish organization I tell you. And even those that appear happy, is just a mirage. Plastic surgery appearance! A mere decoration. Not real.
I’m yet to see two or more women who enjoy sharing the same cock. A woman may tolerate it, depending on the situation she finds herself, but to like and enjoy that situation? I don’t buy that!
You wouldn’t believe that some married men who date single ladies monitor them to the extent of threatening and sending away any guy they find with them.
He doesn’t want her for keeps, yet he doesn’t want other men to want her for keeps. What sort of guy is that? What sort of twisted love is that? A selfish guy I tell you!
I heard of a soldier who doesn’t only beat his mistress because he sees her with other men, but would also send his boys to beat and threaten the men. Yet he doesn’t want to marry the babe.
The most galling part of the whole nonsense affair is that such men wouldn’t want their legal wife to find out they are cheating on her. At the home front, they are like angels, looking and acting like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths. Hypocrites!
True, my dear sister…you’re absolutely right! Such men are caring and affectionate. They are ready to buy you the world…ready to make the world your oysters…quick to make you smile and remember the Cinderella story and kisses of Prince Charming. But most of them are frogs!
A real Prince Charming wouldn’t want to keep a babe tied to him, if he doesn’t have any ‘forever after’ plans for her and especially if he already has a sitting queen.
A good guy is one who does everything to make sure his mistress gets married and is settled at a marital front like him. He should be the one advising her to ‘shine her eyes’ before she marries. You think there are no such guys? They are everywhere! Nice guys. They are just rare.
He knows he loves the babe, but he’s no fool. He also knows he doesn’t have the wherewithal to marry and maintain a second wife. Even when he lets the babe go to another, one can see he’s hurting pretty bad inside, but he just has to do the right thing.
Listen sisters… I can’t tell you how to run your lives, but be very careful of married men who are possessive. Most of them can go to any length. Perhaps it would be better if the relationship is spelt out on how it will run before the two of you start hitting the sack.
As a lady, you should however know that whatever verbal agreement you have with him may not stand when emotions begin to run high.
No matter how much you’re fond of your married lover, always think of your interest first before any other person. You have to first love yourself before any other person.
If your married lover is giving you stress, giving single men looking for you unnecessary heat, you should know that’s time to call it quit.
Don’t be blinded by materialism because at the end, such items would not comfort you and your married lover would be at home by then, comforting his legal wife and children. Let’s hope you don’t take too long to understand and take some decisions.
If you send all potential husband materials away from your side, because you want to be faithful to your married lover and he later walks out of the relationship, who would you blame?
Yes, whether you like it or not, such a relationship will come to an end one day. It could fizzle out naturally or he might fall for another single lady.
Worse, he could tell you that he was tired of cheating on his wife and now wants to be a responsible husband and father.
He could even suddenly find salvation and become a born again. What then?
If the relationship ends at a time your biological clock had stopped ticking and the shadows had grown longer and no guy is glancing your way anymore, what would you do?
Women are like flowers. Flourishing today and beginning to wither tomorrow. Time is not a friend of the woman. Better make hay while the sun shines. Today, you have the power to choose and make a choice from different single guys parading and sniffing around you. Tomorrow, you may be forced to choose what life is offering you. There are differences. In the first, you have varieties to choose from…in the second, you pick because he’s the only one coming or asking…
Don’t waste the time you’d use to nurture a relationship to a marriage level on a married man who gets enrage at seeing you with another man. Such possessive men can even do you bodily harm.
If you’re accepting his nonsense behaviour and continue to cling to him because he’s good in bed, then than means you haven’t tried the other guy giving you the green light. No guy is born a super star in issues of lovemaking. If he’s good in bed, my bet is that the next guy could be better!
Whatever way you decide or choose to run your affairs of the heart rests on your table. But I’m just saying….
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