My darling, there’s nothing impossible about being faithful to your legally married spouse. What with all these dreadful Sexual Transmitted diseases seeking who to devour.
Can’t you just imagine that horrible looking spectre called Mr. AIDS gloating whenever he catches you banging a woman not your wife?
Yes, my dear, he gloats knowing that another guest would soon join his growing kingdom. Did I hear you say God forbid? God can only forbid if you learn to keep your pecker zipped up in your trousers.
There’s nothing also wrong in having a heart to heart discussion with your pecker. Communication has been known to instil discipline. If your pecker knows that you’re damn vexed about its disgustingly drooling and smiling sheepishly at other ladies’ other than your wife, it will behave.
But of course, I know that some peckers can be so damn stubborn! So what can you do when it attempts to embarrass you by standing etched out on your trouser?
Run into the nearest gents and give it a cold shower. Ha! Cold showers can do wonders for even peckers that used to stand stubborn, like ancient warriors, with all the veins standing on end.
My point?
The power to make or mar your marriage is in your hands!
Seriously now…when I read the mail, I sympathised with the guy. He has it real bad! You can tell from his mail. So, what else is new? Who had not had a bad case of lust at one time or another?
We have to fight temptation. Anybody and everybody can be tempted into indulging in infidelity. There’s no way on earth you can’t bang same man/woman till death.
You start doubting the reason to be faithful to your spouse, the essence of marriage and the vows become mute. A mere mockery of the marriage institution, which many have described as sainted institution.
Yeah! Yeah! I know what’s going through your mind…yes, you especially…I can tell from your roving eyes, that you’re a lady’s man…you’re saying man can’t continue to
“chop Ogbonno soup every time! He sometimes needs to eat egusi soup.”
Variety being the spice of life and the rest nonsense! Pardon me please if I beg to differ.
What errant nonsense. It is this sort of ideology that leads to infidelity in homes. The bad aspect of the whole issue is that a guy, who strongly believes it, usually sells the idea to his friend, who will later sell it to another. It becomes a vicious circle, with infidelities creeping into homes and sometimes destroying the very foundation of that relationship.
The thing about extramarital affairs is that once your wife gets to know, she will never trust you again. If you work late and come home to tell her that the paper work in the office was just too much, she gives you that look that says: “Are you kidding me? Get away!”
Or she might come out straight and tell you: “Jide, go tell that to the marines!”
Everything you’ve worked for, all the happiness begins to disintegrate right before your eyes. Ask yourself: was that other woman’s honey pot worth all the pains? When there’s a cold war between husband and wife, the children feel and suffer it.
They are torn apart emotionally, not knowing whose side to take. Mum or Dad? Don’t ever do that to them! There are some men, who even after their wives find out about their philandering will take the militant stance of: “So what the hell are you going to do about it?”
Bad! Bad! Bad! It wouldn’t be too wrong to be really remorseful. If you don’t have it in you to be remorseful, feign it! It might make her feel good.
It’s no secret that some men, who genuinely wished to be faithful to their wives, have sometimes fallen into the web of ladies who would not allow them to be!
There are ladies who are determined to dismantle a guy’s moral and assist him to throw his marriage vows into the trash cans. I feel for such men!
Believe me, if a determined daughter of Eve wants to sexually ‘fall’ a guy, it’s only a matter of time. But there are men, whom a lady only has to give a friendly smile and their peckers go: “Hey sister, I’m willing, ready and able!”
In sexual escapades, it’s always mostly the woman that suffers. Her husband cheats on her, she suffers financially and emotionally. If she dares to cheat on him, he sends her packing.
Stupid African laws! Championing men and enslaving women! What is good for the goose should jolly well be good for the gander!
If we have laws in Nigeria where the wife could file for a divorce and clean the guy’s bank account as is obtainable in the US, several of our men, will learn and master how to park the jutting end of their silly peckers at the right car parks!
I have always told people that it’s never a crime to lust after a guy/babe that is not your legal spouse. It becomes a crime when you give in to that itch.
My friend loves her guy to nuts. It was like Michael Bolton used to croon in that his soulful, emotionally moving voice: “Said I loved you but I lie. This is more than love I feel inside….”
Well that was the impression I got! That if there was anything stronger than the emotion called love, that is what she felt for that guy (He’s not worth her, I tell you). You can tell from the way she talks about him, the smile on her face. Ha! That thing called love!
She came to me that day, with a gloomy face. A sour face; it was like two-day-old fufu that had gone bad. When I was confronted with such miserable looking face, my heart skipped a beat.
I imagined the worse.
I tried to make her relax and slowly worm the story out of her. It was not difficult.
The story tumbled out in disjointed format. If Nigerians could blush, her face would have shown several shades of changing colours, like that of a chameleon.
It was in her office, she met the guy. He was too good looking to be true. A hunk, she said. I tried to imagine and conjured the image of the guy as she described him. I’m a sucker for such a guy. I like tall guys, but my greatest weakness is if he’s blessed with brains too!
Ha, please don’t mind me!
Anyway, anytime the guy comes to see her boss, he will stop by her desk, chat her up. Whenever he’s near, her breathing becomes erratic, spirit of shyness will possess her body and she gets all fidgety like a teenager that is hearing her first love song from a ‘toaster.’
So what the heck is wrong with chatting with a good looking hunk of a guy? I thought it was supposed to be the natural, follow up question.
Guess I was wrong. She gave me a dirty look. She apparently expected me to have an answer to my question. Silly woman, but I love her.
She gave me that long look that says: “You ought to have your head examined.”
Yeah, so what else is new? All my friends know and appreciate the fact that “I don kolo!”
She cried woefully: “Anurika, I have my own man! But I keep imagining myself making love with this guy. It’s embarrassing to say the least! I took a decision, yes a decision. I will start avoiding him before I do something I might regret.”
I wanted to laugh outright, but I didn’t want to make a mockery of a situation she obviously found distressing.
To be continued.
If you are sharing your problems/troubles with me and wish to remain anonymous, please let me know. If you also don’t wish your phone number to be published, do let me know.
Ebere20@gmail.com, 08038465069.
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