Marriage is a beautiful thing between two people – especially if it’s built upon mutual friendship and respect for each person.
If you are contemplating getting married, whether its your first time or for the second, third of fourth time around…you may be thinking about moving in with your spouse-to-be to get a feel for what your everyday life will be like ahead of time to ensure less conflicts beforehand. But you may also be asking yourself if this is the best idea for you both. Should you live together before marriage? Here are some things to consider before you take this step.
Are you both ready?
It’s very important to make sure that you ask yourself this question before you start moving into your mate’s home. If you want to move in together, both of you should be ready for this big step. You may want to have several serious conversations about whether or not you are ready to move in and start sharing the same space and why you want to do this now. Is it to spend more time together or because of convenience? Moving in together can also involve finances, belongings and other legal matters so be sure you both have a clear understanding of your expectations ahead of time to avoid any trauma later.
Will it enhance the relationship?
Moving in together can be a wonderful thing for a couple to experience as it will certainly bring you closer as a couple. However, when you spend a good amount of time together, how does it make you feel? Are you enjoying spending so much time together that you can’t stand to be away from your mate, or do you still enjoy that feeling of going home to your own space after a date or weekend together? These are important things to think about and if you can be true to yourself once you do cohabitate.
How will you manage conflicts?
Living under the same roof can lead to some pretty interesting insights about your lover. You may find out that he or she forgets to put the toilet lid down, the cap on the toothpaste or that they are not as tidy as you are. You may find out that they like to stay up very late while you are an early riser. Whatever conflicts you face as a couple, you may want to talk about these issues in a constructive manner to avoid any blow-outs or arguments. Being able to do this well can lead to a much happier marriage later on, so living together is a positive test to your relationship and very beneficial.
Do your morals prohibit this lifestyle?
If you were raised with very strict morals or religious values, you may have been taught that living together is a sinful, negative thing. In this circumstance, you will want to discuss this with your spouse-to-be to determine what will work best for both of you. This can cause friction in a couple who have different morals and also cause issues with each other’s families too.
Will it affect others?
If there are children involved, moving on together is a huge step that will also affect them. If you have children, you will want to take a careful inventory of their feelings and needs before you decide to start living under one roof. Be sure to try to have a “family’ discussion ahead of time to sort out any problems before you move in together or seek outside help from a counselor to help make this a smooth transition with a successful outcome for all.
As rule of thumb, living together before marriage can be a wonderful experience for a couple and their families if this process is handle carefully and not rushed. It gives a couple time to get to know each other on a deeper level and work out any perceived issues before walking down the aisle.