A woman like Anne Macaulay Tu-Face Idibia, by Anurika Onyelemelam

I’ve seen her, but I’ve never met her.
I’m not her fan. Yeah, I’ve seen her in several movies. Her acting had never impressed me…not like the I way I feel about Liz Benson, Regina Askia….
I’m not even Tu-Face’s fan.
When I heard she finally got shackled to Tu-Face for life, I was shocked. I was impressed.
You could have knocked me out with a feather and I would have crashed to the ground yakata!
A slow admiration filled my heart for her. It takes gut to get married to somebody like Tu-Face.
What sort of woman is this Anne Macaulay?
She’s a rare breed of a woman. She’s a strong breed of a woman. She’s unique!
Apparently, she is also a woman who knows what she wants and would wait for eternity to get it!
You’re probably wondering what the heck I’m rambling about.
It’s about Anne Macaulay. That’s obvious abi?
I’m wondering why the heck she married Tu-Face?
Could it be love? Does such crazy, inexplicable, without clause kind of love still exist?
I can’t come to terms with this sort of an African woman. I’ve never seen this sort of a woman.
I mean, after everything Tu-face had put her through?
The way I heard the story, she was already dating him, before he hit stardom.
And what did he use to repay her love and faithfulness to him? Countless sexual exploits in bed with different ladies, that’s what!
He probably wouldn’t have been found out, but some of his wild oats, took root and germinated.
I must however doff my hat for Tu-Face; he never denied any of the ladies. He accepted his responsibilities like a man.
Walahi, the guy has balls!
But how did Anne feel each time he comes with stories of having impregnated another lady?
We’ve never heard of her breaking down emotionally. We’ve never heard of her even dating another guy out of spite. You know, like love on a rebound? Or something ladies of these days call tit-for-tat.
What on earth would it take to make her furious with Tu-Face?
How many women would take the basin load of shit and rotten tomatoes that Tu-Face had repeatedly thrown on her and still keep a smiling face?
Me? Tufiakwa! God forbid! If na joke, stop it! If na seriousness, end am there!
I can just imagine several of her friends, laughing each time the news came that this or that lady was pregnant again for Tu-face. Many of them must have given her pitying looks and glances. They must have discussed her situation to death. They must have sniggered.
But in all these scandals, Anne had held her head high.
Why did she choose to accept such shabby treatment from Tu-Face?
Could it be because of his fame? Possibly!
There are several women out there, who would do anything and everything to marry somebody like Tu-face.
He has money…he has fame. Why, he’s even good looking!
Imagine, the guy was dating Anne, and then he went and knocked off two ladies with pregnancies. As that was not enough, he had gotten one of the women pregnant twice!
Somebody over there is correcting me…he covers the entertainment beat…he says the women are four, not two…anyway, whatever!
Yes, twice my friends! He got one of the ladies loaded twice and Anne still stood stubborn beside him. Can you just beat that?
Does that mean he banged the lady, got her pregnant the first time, then went to apologise to Anne…then went back to bang the babe some more and still got her pregnant again, then went back to apologise to Anne again?
God! It’s like we women are blessed and cursed with chicken brains!
But then, Tu-Face is probably good in bed.
I know that a lot of women can die for a guy who knows how to wind them in bed. A guy who can make them moan, groan in ecstasy. A guy who knows what sex is all about. A guy whose sugar stick is sugar and not pepper.
Could that be the reason our Anne hung unto him like leech in spite of all the hurts and embarrassments he brought to her?
Or did Anne marry him because she wanted to show those hussies, who were quick to open their legs for his one-eyed-snake, that ‘this guy is mine for keep!’?
Women are incredibly difficult creatures to understand, including yours sincerely writing this piece.
Do you know that all the children the women had for him, are all older than the baby Anne has for him? And Anne had been in his life for donkey years I heard!
Does the marriage to him means she had finally landed the much coveted trophy?
It could be ego trip too for Anne. Ego and pride to introduce herself as, ‘Wife of Tu-Face Idibia.’
Whatever is her reason, I can bet you my next pay pack that hundreds of women would never take such nonsense from any guy!
Even ordinary me…I won’t even take it! And I’m nobody at that! Let alone an upcoming star like Anne.
Perhaps she also feels that the name of Tu-Face would open doors for her.
Hmmm! This and many more reasons keep spinning in my head. How on earth did Tu-face convince her to stay in spite of his sexual escapades with the other women?
Or did Anne meet a soothsayer who told her to hold on to Tu-baba regardless of whatever the guy does to her?
Even one of my sisters whom I feel is cool headed, at least to some extent, feels she would never take such lai lai.
Or is Anne part of these ladies who always want to stick to the first man who plucks a fruit from their garden? See you, Don’t tell me you don’t know what I mean by garden. You’ve been there on several occasions, so spare me the pretences!
Could they have taken an oath never to marry any other person?
But whatever it is, I still doff my hat for her. I like her patience, tolerance, steadfastness and faithfulness because all the while when her husband, Tu-face, was planting seeds in some other women, we never heard about Anne’s reactions.
Anne’s patience seemed to have finally got her what she wanted but she should not forget the fact that those children will still be beneficiaries of whatever belongs to her husband.
A friend of mine argued that he does not blame TuFace for having inflated several women. According to him, whether TuFace likes it or not, ladies’ will always flock after him like bees after honey.
I absolutely agree with the sentiment, especially in view of his social status and now class.
But listen, even in these days and age, ladies pursue men with nauseating determination. And these men are not even stars. They’re just probably good looking, may be nice and most importantly, they have one referee and two lines men dangling between their thighs!
I can sit down here and tell you right now that many of these men date several ladies. But how many go about getting each and every one of them pregnant?
Therein is the worrisome problem. What with all the deadly sexually transmitted diseases in town and HIV/AIDS. It baffles me why any guy, who knows he has a serious girl waiting in the wing, one he planned to marry, did not resort to using condom.
Condom is not just for prevention of unwanted pregnancies, but also for prevention of transmission of deadly and terminal diseases to your woman. If you give a shit about your woman, you’d keep her protected. Condom can do that for you. You can make love, without necessarily making babies.
And do I think that with this marriage to Anne, that TuFace will stop playing ball in other women fields or likely stop scoring?
I don’t think so! Ha! Pigs will fly!
Anyway, the ball is rolling, let’s watch and see.
My dear Anne, I respect you!